Week: 36
Songs to Remember: Pick Me 2 - Produce 101, Love Is - Teen Top
Today has just been very tiring. I felt very sluggish, I didn't really do much exercising. I guess I'll just have this day be a rest day, which is good, it's needed. I also staged a fake social situation, which, I am not proud of. But I told people not to worry about it, so, I, eh?
Okay, never stage a social situation. Because if people find out, your trust/ respect is going to plummet. Thankfully I am not stupid enough to, search on Google some generic stock POV images. So I don't think anybody can find it from the thousands of images out there. Umm, but yeah, this was only something to try out, only because I am that desperate for attention, I will admit that. Not proud of this whole thing, but it did make me feel better.
I bet ya'll are still wondering about the Kt situation. I'm uh, I'm not feeling as positive as I was yesterday during that epiphany moment. But, I'm not as depressed as I was a few days ago, so at least that's, good. This has blown up to a much greater proportion than I ever thought it was, maybe even life-changing. Not much I can do though, except talk to people about it, and or, crave attention.
I was going to message Kt today or tonight, the last bit of stuff on my mind, just so that I can prove to myself, finally, that this was all that I can do to gain back her trust. I was literally going to tell her everything, like, the plan to break up with her (initially) as well as how Cc's been telling me what she's been saying about me without me knowing through screenshots.
Of course, I asked Cc for permission before I did that and thankfully I did because Cc said she wasn't really okay with it. She said that Kt told me that she and Cc don't talk "often," but in actuality they talk, very often. And uh, I actually think it's fine to, keep this under wraps, because Cc is pretty much my only, undercover intel-getter that I got left.
Cc also told me how Kb started asking Kt questions about me, and uh, because of that, Kt thought I set Kb up to ask her shit. Cc said she was like "I don't know why he's so persistent" or something like that. I told her to tell Kt that that wasn't me, that I didn't set him up to ask her shit. And uh, from that though, I guess saying my last bit of shit, can wait. I mean my thought process is that, if I don't interact with her, or stop, then she'll forget about me. But now, from that, if I do, I'ma seem like I'm annoying, which, will drive her away even further.
I guess I just have to give it time, which is hard considering I have, all the fucking time in the world this week, heh. Tomorrow however, I'll be at DrewN's house for his birthday, a birthday party, with the whole cast. Also Friday, I'll be (hopefully) going on a hike with Bp. Just, it's just something to do. Then on Saturday, that'll be a prom-shoot with Ek, Lw, Jk, not sure about DrewN, but yeah.
Just to put this out there, these last two nights, I have had so many dreams that I cannot keep track of 'em all. However, the only thing that I do remember is that Batman, is in them, for whatever fucking reason, I don't know, I have't even seen a Batman image in a while, heh. Very weird. And yeah, it's 10:04 PM, I think I'll go to sleep early today. Fuck me, man, heh. Alright, see ya.
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