Sunday, April 16, 2017 "Ventriloquism."

Sunday, April 16, 2017
Week: 36
Songs to Remember:

        Are you ready for a proper post? It'll be like one of the old days, where I talk on and on about a topic.

        And I'm talking, old, old days, where posts weren't just "1st period, 2nd period, etc." This is gonna be one of those classic posts, where it demonstrates my state of thinking, my mental age, of it. So it goes. Today's topic, is gonna be: words. Words, what are they? They're bigger sounds, made up of letters, or, smaller sounds. Words are just words, by themselves. They have no meaning, until they are put together in a sentence, phrase, or question.

        Words, when put together, can become very powerful. For example, instead of "I was really sad about it all," you could say "I felt distraught in what I had done." They add inflection, depth, to talk. You gotta choose your words carefully, because you gotta make sure people interpret them the way YOU, want them to interpret it, and not in any other ways.

        One thing to note though. Even with all the books in the world, you could say all of it, recite all of it, combine them all in every way possible, but in the end, they are still words. What's more stronger than words? Actions, that's right. If you get the chance to, use actions, instead of words, to show how you're feeling, or what you mean. A simple "thank you," can instead be a meaningful hug. Of course, you can always combine words and actions for a greater effect.

        With actions, you're exerting more energy, putting more energy into conveying meaning, more energy than just moving your lips, tongue, and breathing oxygen, which, most people can do, heh. Put actions above talk, is what I'm saying. However, if you are looking for something witty to say, just look to songs or books, yeah, heh. These however, are better said, in my opinion, because with that, people are less likely able to track down what you said and see that you just, copied it from some song lyrics or a movie or whatever, heh.

        So yeah, that's what I think right now. That was, as close to what a classic post as I could get it to. Currently the fans are demanding updates on what's been going on, some more inflection on matters, so I'ma give it to them. Tomorrow there's school, and, I gotta finish doing, I mean, copying down answers for math. And, starting to learn BTS' "Not Today," because I will be teaching it tomorrow.

        I've been meaning to talk to Cc about the whole Kt situation, but Cc's been busy and going places recently so, I, do not want to bother her, and, she has no time to deal with technology. And I wish, that could be me too, but considering I cannot sleep, there's, nothing much I can do, heh. I've had a lot of built-up emotions inside, worries, etc, that I've been wanting to release, to, confide, with someone, anybody.

        Just a disclaimer, I do not recommend keeping that stuff built up inside you. Because when it comes out, if it's not controlled, you will regret it, like I did. I remember from long ago, I don't know where, but I read something that used an analogy of an owl, a snake, and a turtle. The owl talks out his frustrations, the turtle keeps it in, and the snake lashes out angrily on it all. I was, I've been, the turtle, for quite some time. And it's not good. You get so much stuff built up, that it leaks to other places in your mind. You end up talking to yourself, in your mind, with all that. It's not healthy, you will lose sleep, you get more stressed, your actions will not be what you'd normally do.

        I was breathing heavily, thinking about it all this morning, and so I had to let it out to somebody. I messaged Mp about it all. I asked her some general stuff that I wondered like, "Did Kt talk about me recently," and etc, etc. The last that she did, according to Mp, or to Mp at least, was that I talked to her at the park. I explained to Mp the whole situation of what's going on, filled in her in in case she didn't know, and uh, Mp replied to me some intel that, I did not know. She said, that Kt sent her a snap (probably to others as well), that she had no prom date. My mind was like "Uhhhhhhhhhhwwwhhhhaaat?"

        I don't know what or why, but I ain't questioning it. And so with that, I asked Mp if she could suggest to Kt to go to prom with me then, that, since Kt doesn't trust me, I somebody that Kt does trust, to, be a voice of reason, basically. Because since Kt told me, long ago, that a close friend of hers was the reason why she asked me out, I'm hoping that that'll be the same reason for her to, give me an opportunity to try once more with her. So far I've only talked to Mp about all this. I uh, I was going to ask some of Kt's other close friends (who I am not really close with though) if they could help me or provide me some information. I have yet to though, on the account that Kt might find out and, I'd be, essentially 100% screwed out of, have anything to do with her again.

        This is not the way I want to be doing things, which is, manipulative, and shady. But this is the only thing I have left. I am, painted, as an un-trustworthy person, but if you were to ask any 5 people that know me, I'm pretty sure all 5 would vouch for me and say that I am, trustworthy. And this is also why I chose the topic of words, because currently my words mean nothing. Umm, to her. However, other people's words do mean something to her, and, right now, all I can do, are actions. However, she doesn't really like that either, so I'm essentially, just, a mind. Floating there. Kinda sucks, but yeah.

        My only hope now, is for people to convince her for one, last, chance. Preferably before prom because then I'll have more things to do, more actions, to prove that, to gain her trust again, and that getting back together with me, giving me a second chance at it all, was not a bad decision.

        Anyways, gonna get started on work now.