Tuesday, April 11, 2017 "Dweller."

Tuesday, April 11, 2017

Week: 36

Songs to Remember: Push It to the Limit - Corbin Bleu, Call Me Baby (YUHE Remix) - EXO, Are You Ready - B.I.G, Can You Let Me Know - Lupe Fiasco

        Working out and exercising has been very beneficial to me so far. It's contributed to my water-intake, which is a plus, because I do need to get my daily in-take of water. It also contributes to my tiredness, allowing me to sleep.

        And man was last night's sleep, so good. Like, I was so tired, I just laid in bed at like 10:00 PM. Dozed off and woke up at 3:30 AM. Had to clean up my room and then headed back to sleep, and woke up at 11:00 AM. Really, really nice sleep, in a long time. Now, I wanna talk about what I'ma be doing. Currently, I've made myself a workout routine, I got weight-gain protein powder coming in the mail, along with a workout-bar door setup.

        It's logical not to dwell on things that are not, productive. I could sit and cry (even though I am out of tears). I could, just not interact with anybody. I've already acted, actually, not even acted, I've been sad, I've demonstrated my sadness to Kt. Doesn't look like she wants to get back soon. Although I have demonstrated to her what I've been feeling, it was all words and emotions. Guess what I didn't demonstrate? Actions. I think I've got the inner-mentality, down, of how I want to act. Now, I just, gott act. I gotta do stuff.

        The more I dwell, the more I be secluded, the more people will forget, the more, Kt, will forget about me, and of course, move on. Remember when I said I miss the thrill of working hard, getting intel, etc? I could actually do that again. Remember when I took the initiative and asked her to dinner on Snapchat? Arranged shit to do? Guess what? I could do that, again. I gotta build it up, be a constant reminder of "Hey, I'm Drew."

        The last few days have been the lowest I've ever been. And uh, about 4 days is enough grieving, heh. I uh, I don't think I need anymore. And like I said, carpe diem. I gotta act, NOW. NOW, Drew. Fucking, NOW. Starting over with Kt, doesn't necessarily mean starting over with the relationship, it's starting over, with just everything. "Hi, I'm Drew." Could just be like that. I'll be asking her to hang out this week, as friends of course, because you gotta start somewhere. Just uh, I guess just not at "dating" level.

        Spring break, however, has been boring. And slow. I uh, I thought it was Wednesday today, but it's actually only Tuesday. It's also only 3:15 PM and I feel like I've done, pretty much everything I can do. I just need to finish up my push-ups and planks and then the rest can just be, learning a dance or something. Anyways, just to iterate what I've said: do not dwell on things. It won't do you any good. See ya.