Thursday, April 6, 2017 "Now I Know."

Thursday, April 6, 2017

Week: 35

Songs to Remember: To Myself - DPR LIVE - OPEN THE DOOR - TAEYONG (태용)

        There are times when I think with head. There are times when I think with my heart. And, there are also times when I think with my dick. This was one of the times when I needed to think with just my head and my heart.

        It's been less than a month since she asked me to date, less than a month since she suggested I go to prom with her. This was my first relationship (if you could call it that) and also my first break-up. Plot-twist, it was me who had to be the one doing the breaking. I honestly felt sorta bad like, there was a little disturbance in my head like "Drew, what the fuck did you just do..."

        Buuuuut, after background discussion with Cc, with screenshots, it reassured me that "Oh fuck yeah, Drew, you dodged a fucking bullet right there. You stepped off the railroad tracks of an oncoming train, and that shit would've dragged out long had you not done it." I'm not gonna go into the details it because to be honest, it ain't my concern anymore, heh. I've written ENOUGH paragraphs about her. The one thing I need to remind myself is that this was a confirmed "You did the right thing."

        And the lasting words that you used to break up with her. "I don't think we should be together anymore. In plain English, I'm breaking with you. and no, it's not because of how you answered those questions. I don't like your attitude, our humor is extremely different, it's not gonna work out. Bye." HOOOOOOOOO BOI.

        That's all in the past now. I messaged Ev, the one person who I know is closest with Cl. I asked him if he knew if Cl is going with anybody to prom and that was no. No as in, she ain't going with anybody. The only thing he knows about her schedule is her 5th period, so either I gotta do some hard stalking, or, catch her at 5th period. And don't get my started on the promposal, that's, HOOOO, that's, let's worry about the mainframe first.

        "But Drew, you're seriously asking somebody else to go to prom with even though you just broke up with somebody. Doesn't that make you a bad person too?" Well you see, from the confirmation with Cc, after I broke up with Kt, she asked Cc "WHO DO I FIND TO GO TO PROM WITH NOW?" and then the rest was some misandry and talking about hair-flipping and attracting guys. That all re-assured me what I was doing, was, in her ways, within the ball-game of being completely moral.

        This has been one of the toughest obstacles I have concurred, and that was, to be able to think with my head and heart, instead of, just my heart, or my dick. It shouldn't have been, but since it was all new, I didn't know how to deal with it. And now, I do. Godamn did I learn so much. Oh yeah, almost forgot to talk about today's KDT practice, err, today's VSA night-show run-through. Me, Vh, Cc, and this time Mp, we all went (walked) to McDonalds from school and got fries and 40 chicken mcnuggets. We then relaxed, watched the show, and practice those 4 minutes of on-stage performance.

        And yes, it was again, filled with laughter. I fucking loved it. Jd, Mt, Ln, Rh, Cc, Tm, Vh, the freshmen, the sophomores, juniors, the seniors, I love 'em all in KDT. I fucking love 'em. The cast who know what's best for me, I fucking love 'em. I love 'em all. It's 11:00 PM, it's time to get started on shit that's due tomorrow. I can't wait for tonight's sleep, it's gonna be so good. See ya.