Wendnesday, May 31, 2017 "Music-Evoked Nostalgia."

Wendnesday, May 31, 2017
Week: 43
Songs to Remember: Only You - 24K, Hello Hello - B.I.G, Happy - 2NE1, Plz Don't Be Sad - Highlight,

        I honestly don't know what to write. I don't really feel anything, or at least not yet. I've just been tired, and exhausted.

        One of the things that help me remember things the best, better than these posts even, is music. It's one of the reasons why I keep the "Songs to Remember" section, why I keep a collection of music, why I keep a time-stamp of when they're added to my collection. I listen to a song in the moment of something and soon enough that song becomes connected, it becomes synced, to that moment.

        Some songs I've listened to them on multiple occasions, making them very general, and can apply to a lot of situations and events, making me remember either not much, or a lot, usually the former. For example, Taemin's "Press Your Number." It is probably my most-played song as of today. I've listened to it in so many situations and times that it doesn't really represent any exact time. It's just, a song. Some songs, they make me remember very specific times and locations. For example, listening to "When the Moon's Reaching Out Stars" from the Persona 3 OST, it takes me back to the summer of 2013 when I was playing Yu-Gi-Oh with my cousin at my grandmother's house, 'cause he was playing Persona 3 at that time and that song kept on coming up.


        And then there are songs that are tied to bad or sad events or times, and it's a shame because, these are really good songs, but every time I hear them, it makes me think back to those times. Some of these songs include Bruno Mars' "That's What I Like," The Weeknd's "I Feel It Coming," NCT 127's "Paradise," DPR LIVE's songs, Giriboy (기리보이)'s "SKIT (CHEEZE사리추가VER), PRODUCE 101's "PICK ME 2," Romeo's "WITHOUT U" (not so much anymore but still), you get what I mean. The list goes on. All of these are really good songs, but damn, they just bring back too much bad thoughts.

        Yes, that is also why I pick songs for the opening and endings of each series. Those are things that I want to remember and so I purposely try to pick something that'd be representative of what is to come, or what had happened for the series. Listening to the songs, it's like "Ahhh I remember this. The beginning of season 3. Good times, good times " And yes, the "Songs to Remember" part of each post are what I'm listening to currently as I'm making the post, or, what I listened to the day of the post, or the like.

        Today I spent a bit of time after school with Tm. 3rd period ended with what I continued with the whole year: a whole lot of nothing, heh. It was good time to relax though. I think that if I did not have this class I would not have survived, because it gave me, so much ample time to get shit done when I did not want to do things at home, either because I was too tired or it ended up being too late that I'd be too tired to do it. Other than that, it was pretty boring, mostly because most of the topics covered was stuff I already knew or was already familiar with.

        4th period English, I, I thought I was going to have a mental breakdown after school because I had thought that my group members did not do the video after I told 'em I could not make it. I was like "Holy fuck, I am, going to be going insane after-school in order to put together 90 fucking clips." Fortunately one of my group members did put together a video, and had it on a USB flashdrive, so, that uh, that saved me. We did the final in class (which wasn't too difficult) and watched the skit videos of other groups whilst having a little potluck of, junkfood, heh.

        Anyways, I drove Tm and myself to Safeway, for my to pick up some food, as well as to Walgreens to pick up a set of grad pictures for one person. And then drove him home. I proceeded to drive to my old elementary school and home (which were located in walking distance of each other), for old times sake, to see how far I've gotten. It all looked very different, it was expected, but I didn't expect it too too much. The classroom locations stayed the same, the structures were the same, however the walls were re-painted.

        I asked about whether any of my teachers were still there, but unfortunately all but one were retired, and the one who was still there was on a field trip. I honestly did not think it was that long ago, but I guess it was. Everything looked, very small. The desks and chairs, just everything. I walked to my old, old house through the neighborhood and whilst some houses seemed familiar, I just, couldn't remember most of 'em. It was all very, very faint. I took a look at my old house and saw how, small it was. The gate, the fences, I was like "These all seemed gigantic back then. This gate felt like triple my height." And now I'm, I'm like, able to look over it, heh. "Were they this small back then." I saw the window of the house and that instantly brought back images of how my dad's room looked, how, my mom's room looked, how I spent quite a bit of years sleeping in there, sleeping next to my mom.

        It was, not as sad as I had thought. Didn't cry even, I didn't feel much. It was really just, me trying to grasp how long it's been, how feint all these memories were. Drove back home with nothing much else, uhhh, and now here I am, at 11:57 PM, with Gov work to do. I had essentially no time at all these past 2 weeks to work on the dances for the KDT picnic tomorrow, so oh well. Fortunately for me, my fellow KDT members did not practice either, so that makes things a bit better. Still need to write a speech, still need to do work. I'll try to get it all done before 2:00 AM. Please. This is the 3rd to last post, 3rd to last episode of the series. See ya.