Tuesday, May 30, 2017
Week: 43
Songs to Remember: Only You - 24K, Hello Hello - B.I.G
It is unfortunate that I just had to come across a sickly cough that made me want to stay in bed for quite a few hours today. And I would write something because there's not much time left to write about what I want to write, but considering it's 2:35 AM, and if I were to stay up any longer, it'd do more worse than good.
I had my yearbook signed by the people I liked in 1st period and gave out some of my grad photo-cards. And by people I liked, I mean those who made a more significant impact or role in the series while in Dance. Second period was much different, for I didn't care much about anybody in there, so I just spent the time writing letters on my grad photo-cards for people.
Tomorrow is probably gonna be the same for 3rd period, and as for 4th period, that's just a final of which, I think I'll do fine on. And yes, tomorrow, I will have very much to do, so I'm hoping to get as much done in 3rd period as possible to finish these letters, so that I may focus on these last few things for tomorrow: speech, this whole thing, and dances. And so, see ya.
Wednesday, May 31, 2017
Tuesday, May 30, 2017
Monday, May 29, 2017 "Hotel Fanime Recap."
Monday, May 29, 2017
Week: 43
Songs to Remember: Redbone - Childish Gambino, Slide - Calvin Harris, Happy - 2NE1, Despacito - Luis Fonsi, Daddy Yankee
It's unbelievable to think that tomorrow is Tuesday. It's also unbelievable that today was the first episode of the last season of this series.
This whole weekend was an experience that just, highlighted my independence for the time being. Pretty stressful when it came to managing time. As in, what to do, where to go, who to go with. To recap it all, the Fanime weekend started off with packing and driving Jd and Lw to the convention center after school. Ag unfortunately, could not go in the end, so it just ended up being me, Jk, Lw, and Ek.
At the convention center, I stuck with Jd in order to find the rest of the KDT group. Very stressful start to the convention, because the KDT group was trying to flash-mob at the park across the convention center. We were also running short on time, Mt's yelling was getting on my nerves, I got pretty stressed out because of that, but in the end it was okay. Our performance went by super-quick. There were A LOT more people watching than I expected. Overall, not too bad.
Went by very quick though, and I was only in one song. After the performance, we all stuck around to watch KDT's sub-unit "LMBR" perform.There were also others watching as well, people, who weren't performing, as well as some KDT alumni. After the LMBR performance, it was time to be escorted out. Umm, Cc was kinda, she was trying to avoid going with DrewH, as he was standing outside the area after the performance, as well as the other dude. However, our buddy Tm was present, and we didn't get his badge yet, so we headed downstairs with him to get his badge.
We proceeded to explore the whole place, including the dealer's hall, artist alley, etc. I essentially hung out with them the whole day, just Cc and Tm. We ended it off with eating at this place that served tacos, aaand, that was it for day one. I met up with Jk and the cast, along with Jk's three other mutual friends, in the gaming hall after it all. It was around, 11:00 PM or something, just, very late. I was exhausted, like, just dead. And, considering how i had school the same day, eight hours of school, I had a good reason to.
Drove us all (Ek, Jk, Lw, and I) to the hotel inn that we would be staying at. Checked in at like 12:30 AM, the dude looked at me very suspiciously. I mean, I booked the reservation online beforehanda already, I had ID, it, it says my birth-date right there on it, yet he still questioned my age, and, even asked how many would be staying in my room even though there were clearly only three others outside, and the room fitted five people anyways.
Paid in cash, still had to do a deposit, and after about 5 long minutes, I got the room. We got in, looked much better than the pictures online. Plopped out stuff down, checked things out, Jk and Ek weren't feeling too well or were too tired, so me and Lw went to the nearest 7/11 to get dinner and medicine. Dinner for us was, dry-packaged noodles, and that was for two nights essentially. Not really healthy, but was very otaku-ish-like, fitting in the theme for Fanime. After our late-night meal, w went to bed. The day after, we got the free breakfast, I had a sore-throat for the morning, got ready, and we got to the convention center at around 11:00 AM. That day, I spent it with Ek and Lw and the the cast and whatnot. We, did the whole usual stuff like going through the dealer's hall and artist alley, umm, at points there were times where I felt like "What the fuck are we doing." For example, Jk and his mutual buddies wanted to go to the comedy club event at the hotel located across the convention (it was part of the convention).
I already knew it was gong to be shit, but I gave it the benefit of the doubt. Nope, I was right, turned out to be shit. It was boring, yes, jokes were, shit. Lw was bored as fuck, I was bored as fuck, Jk was the one who wanted to go and he wasn't even paying attention to it. We all finally left, we, ended it off with some gaming at the gaming hall, with some games like Jenga, Malarky, and Pop-Up Pirate. Oh and btw Ek went home early, so she didn't make it for the comedy club and afterwards. Also the Ek and Lw's buddies were there as well for a bit for that day.
Day three, it was just me, Jk, and Lw. We had our free breakfast, packed our stuff, and checked out. Arrived to the convention, it was, mostly me and Lw for the day. She and I explored the dealer's hall and artist alley whilst Jk and his buddies did whatever. Lw had to leave at at around 3:00 PM to eat with her brother who arrived here, to the state, for her graduation. I kinda separated to go off on my own to look for Cc and her group. I eventually found her in the dealer's hall, with three other people. It was the dude that was at one of the centers for all the drama (of course, I suppose things turned out okay because Cc was duo-cosplaying with him, as Rin and Obito), a sophomore from KDT (or at least I think so, I apologize if I'm wrong, heh), and their mutual friend who's a senior.
We went around the dealer's hall, went around in artist alley, ended up in the gaming hall into the night, where it was me, and Cc's buddies playing Jenga with these other two people, who, although looking like maybe High school students, turned out to be older than us, and college students. Tm arrived to the con at this time and so, Cc and Tm went on their own. I was stuck playing Jenga, so, I waited out a bit before, going to find them myself because I was not really feeling the Jenga game at that point, heh. Found 'em, we, uh, at this point, the dealer's hall and artist alley were closed, so, we went around looking for cosplays. Soon enough though, they had to go home, I had to find Jk and his group of buddies.
They were, doing nothing that really interested me, and so I just went home. Was very, very tired. It was hard to keep up with the pace of everything. It was like a non-stop train of, doing something. Which was great, but also very straining. I didn't really buy much stuff, wasn't really all that into taking pictures with cosplayers. I guess having been to Anime Expo so many times, it's hard to top what they have compared to the tiny convention center here.
That whole weekend experience was not really what I expected, in fact it was entirely different in what I had hoped to have happened. I guess my expectations were too high, with me considering how things went last year, with everything, I was hyping it all up. It was still good though, everything that happened, it's, it's just kind of a mixed feeling. I am glad to have done all that, but I am also glad to just be here sitting in my chair of experiences in front of my desk.
Relaxation is far from here though. This season, this week, I'll have to dance, and write, A LOT. Even now, I got some grad photos to write letters on to pass out tomorrow and the days after. I got a speech to write, dances to learn, only a couple of finals to prepare for to ensure my graduation, aaand prepping this project for the end. So, let's get started on all that. It's 12:16 AM. Oh and no, didn't do much today expect drive to the convention to meet up with Lw for like 10 minutes and then went home 'cause there wasn't any shit to do, and I need a day of rest. I'll see you tomorrow.
Week: 43
Songs to Remember: Redbone - Childish Gambino, Slide - Calvin Harris, Happy - 2NE1, Despacito - Luis Fonsi, Daddy Yankee
It's unbelievable to think that tomorrow is Tuesday. It's also unbelievable that today was the first episode of the last season of this series.
This whole weekend was an experience that just, highlighted my independence for the time being. Pretty stressful when it came to managing time. As in, what to do, where to go, who to go with. To recap it all, the Fanime weekend started off with packing and driving Jd and Lw to the convention center after school. Ag unfortunately, could not go in the end, so it just ended up being me, Jk, Lw, and Ek.
At the convention center, I stuck with Jd in order to find the rest of the KDT group. Very stressful start to the convention, because the KDT group was trying to flash-mob at the park across the convention center. We were also running short on time, Mt's yelling was getting on my nerves, I got pretty stressed out because of that, but in the end it was okay. Our performance went by super-quick. There were A LOT more people watching than I expected. Overall, not too bad.
Went by very quick though, and I was only in one song. After the performance, we all stuck around to watch KDT's sub-unit "LMBR" perform.There were also others watching as well, people, who weren't performing, as well as some KDT alumni. After the LMBR performance, it was time to be escorted out. Umm, Cc was kinda, she was trying to avoid going with DrewH, as he was standing outside the area after the performance, as well as the other dude. However, our buddy Tm was present, and we didn't get his badge yet, so we headed downstairs with him to get his badge.
We proceeded to explore the whole place, including the dealer's hall, artist alley, etc. I essentially hung out with them the whole day, just Cc and Tm. We ended it off with eating at this place that served tacos, aaand, that was it for day one. I met up with Jk and the cast, along with Jk's three other mutual friends, in the gaming hall after it all. It was around, 11:00 PM or something, just, very late. I was exhausted, like, just dead. And, considering how i had school the same day, eight hours of school, I had a good reason to.
Drove us all (Ek, Jk, Lw, and I) to the hotel inn that we would be staying at. Checked in at like 12:30 AM, the dude looked at me very suspiciously. I mean, I booked the reservation online beforehanda already, I had ID, it, it says my birth-date right there on it, yet he still questioned my age, and, even asked how many would be staying in my room even though there were clearly only three others outside, and the room fitted five people anyways.
Paid in cash, still had to do a deposit, and after about 5 long minutes, I got the room. We got in, looked much better than the pictures online. Plopped out stuff down, checked things out, Jk and Ek weren't feeling too well or were too tired, so me and Lw went to the nearest 7/11 to get dinner and medicine. Dinner for us was, dry-packaged noodles, and that was for two nights essentially. Not really healthy, but was very otaku-ish-like, fitting in the theme for Fanime. After our late-night meal, w went to bed. The day after, we got the free breakfast, I had a sore-throat for the morning, got ready, and we got to the convention center at around 11:00 AM. That day, I spent it with Ek and Lw and the the cast and whatnot. We, did the whole usual stuff like going through the dealer's hall and artist alley, umm, at points there were times where I felt like "What the fuck are we doing." For example, Jk and his mutual buddies wanted to go to the comedy club event at the hotel located across the convention (it was part of the convention).
I already knew it was gong to be shit, but I gave it the benefit of the doubt. Nope, I was right, turned out to be shit. It was boring, yes, jokes were, shit. Lw was bored as fuck, I was bored as fuck, Jk was the one who wanted to go and he wasn't even paying attention to it. We all finally left, we, ended it off with some gaming at the gaming hall, with some games like Jenga, Malarky, and Pop-Up Pirate. Oh and btw Ek went home early, so she didn't make it for the comedy club and afterwards. Also the Ek and Lw's buddies were there as well for a bit for that day.
Day three, it was just me, Jk, and Lw. We had our free breakfast, packed our stuff, and checked out. Arrived to the convention, it was, mostly me and Lw for the day. She and I explored the dealer's hall and artist alley whilst Jk and his buddies did whatever. Lw had to leave at at around 3:00 PM to eat with her brother who arrived here, to the state, for her graduation. I kinda separated to go off on my own to look for Cc and her group. I eventually found her in the dealer's hall, with three other people. It was the dude that was at one of the centers for all the drama (of course, I suppose things turned out okay because Cc was duo-cosplaying with him, as Rin and Obito), a sophomore from KDT (or at least I think so, I apologize if I'm wrong, heh), and their mutual friend who's a senior.
We went around the dealer's hall, went around in artist alley, ended up in the gaming hall into the night, where it was me, and Cc's buddies playing Jenga with these other two people, who, although looking like maybe High school students, turned out to be older than us, and college students. Tm arrived to the con at this time and so, Cc and Tm went on their own. I was stuck playing Jenga, so, I waited out a bit before, going to find them myself because I was not really feeling the Jenga game at that point, heh. Found 'em, we, uh, at this point, the dealer's hall and artist alley were closed, so, we went around looking for cosplays. Soon enough though, they had to go home, I had to find Jk and his group of buddies.
They were, doing nothing that really interested me, and so I just went home. Was very, very tired. It was hard to keep up with the pace of everything. It was like a non-stop train of, doing something. Which was great, but also very straining. I didn't really buy much stuff, wasn't really all that into taking pictures with cosplayers. I guess having been to Anime Expo so many times, it's hard to top what they have compared to the tiny convention center here.
That whole weekend experience was not really what I expected, in fact it was entirely different in what I had hoped to have happened. I guess my expectations were too high, with me considering how things went last year, with everything, I was hyping it all up. It was still good though, everything that happened, it's, it's just kind of a mixed feeling. I am glad to have done all that, but I am also glad to just be here sitting in my chair of experiences in front of my desk.
Relaxation is far from here though. This season, this week, I'll have to dance, and write, A LOT. Even now, I got some grad photos to write letters on to pass out tomorrow and the days after. I got a speech to write, dances to learn, only a couple of finals to prepare for to ensure my graduation, aaand prepping this project for the end. So, let's get started on all that. It's 12:16 AM. Oh and no, didn't do much today expect drive to the convention to meet up with Lw for like 10 minutes and then went home 'cause there wasn't any shit to do, and I need a day of rest. I'll see you tomorrow.
Sunday, May 28, 2017
Sunday, May 28, 2017 "SleepDay."
Sunday, May 28, 2017
Week: 42
Songs to Remember:
Fidget spinners (don't tell anybody), furries, food, food, lots of food, walking, books, mornings, just, a lot of a variety of stuff, of which, I will describe tomorrow. Only because it is late, it's 11:31 PM, I'm now home, and, I want some sleep. So, see ya.
Week: 42
Songs to Remember:
Fidget spinners (don't tell anybody), furries, food, food, lots of food, walking, books, mornings, just, a lot of a variety of stuff, of which, I will describe tomorrow. Only because it is late, it's 11:31 PM, I'm now home, and, I want some sleep. So, see ya.
Saturday, May 27, 2017 "Fan Yeah."
Saturday, May 27, 2017
Week: 42
Songs to Remember:
Yeah it's 1:05 AM and so, it's kinda obvious that I am tired, heh. So, Sunday to recap this Fanime trip, it is.
Week: 42
Songs to Remember:
Yeah it's 1:05 AM and so, it's kinda obvious that I am tired, heh. So, Sunday to recap this Fanime trip, it is.
Friday, May 26, 2017 "Fan."
Friday, May 26, 2017
Week: 42
Songs to Remember:
Yeah I forgot, heh, to make a post because of all this crazy shit. I'll talk about all this, Sunday, maybe.
Week: 42
Songs to Remember:
Yeah I forgot, heh, to make a post because of all this crazy shit. I'll talk about all this, Sunday, maybe.
Thursday, May 25, 2017 "It's Coming On."
Thursday, May 25, 2017
Week: 42
Songs to Remember: Redbone - Childish Gambino, Stars On 45 - Stars On 45
Ya'll asked for it. I kinda asked for it myself. Although it is 11:41 PM, I'm not tired. Because this time, it's more emotional than it is physical feeling.
In order to keep some integrity with this whole thing (or what's left anyways), I'll be keeping things honest and, unfiltered, so as to fully reflect upon, how I'm feeling right now. Today was a rather fun day. Minus doing nothing in Dance, nothing in math, nothing in Digital Art, listening in English, nothing in Econ, and taking the final (with assistance from built-in Google Translate) in Chinese, I enjoyed it. The stuff after, of course.
I asked Ag to help me get my yearbook early after school, for there was a really, really long line when I got there. I went home and waited on Tm's reply if he would be willing to get his Fanime badge today with me. He was busy, and so I asked Ag. I asked Ag if she would be going for the weekend, and so far it's a yes from her parents, for both the hotel and the Fanime weekend. In fact, umm, after all the recent Fanime drama, I'm actually now comfortable with who I get to go to with.
Because Jk's staying in our hotel room, and so is, Lw, and Ag, and maybe even Ek. I'm actually excited now for the Fanime weekend, heh. Excited may be the wrong word for it though. "Joyful sadness" may be a better, although that's, it's not really a word. It's sad because, although I know I'll be having the time of my life, spending it with people who've stuck with me for so long (in High school times, 2 full years is a lot), I know that it's going to be one of the last things we'll be spending time together, ever again.
I mean, just spending time today, driving me and Ag to the convention center in 40-minute traffic, to finding a place to park, to walking to the convention center from where we parked, to scrambling to find where we get our passes, to driving back, driving to get dinner with her friend, to driving everybody home and ending with me, late at night, driving by myself home after it all.
And this whole realization finally hit me, only today, after all of that, along with Ag informing me about how Kt still talks shit about me. I know that people who do know me, know that what's she saying about me is very off. I inquired Ag about some of the details about the kind of shit she was saying, and that included her saying how I was shallow, how I broke up with her over text, how I'm thirsty as fuck for her, how, I wanted her for her body. And I know, that people who do know won't believe her on all the shit that she's saying. 'Cause all of it's pretty much off.
This portion of this post was edited on June 3, 2017. I removed it because deep down I know that I hold true to myself and what I wrote down, was not true to myself. What I wrote down before was just putting myself down, and I didn't really believe it, so I removed it. This is probably the only edit I will or have ever done, to this caliber, to a past post.
And I know that I said I'd never talk about her again, that I should not even care what she does, that I won't be dwelling on this all any longer. And I'm not, I'm not dwelling, seriously. I've been doing my own shit this whole time. I'm talking about this now because that's what sparked me to think about myself and what I was doing. It sparked me to think about all of this, to think about the people who've supported me over all this time, that they're going to be gone for a majority of the rest of my life, and maybe not even a majority, but forever. Spending time with Ag today and knowing that she's going to be a 4-hour drive away from me in a few months, it's hard to take in.
Yes, luckily the cast and I will still be in the state. But keeping these memories over the course of time, unless we all really feel, cherish this bond enough to not forget about each other in the midst of moving on from this chapter in our lives, it's gonna be difficult. And even then, if we do agree, promise and cross our hearts to group up again to spend another adventure together, coordinating and finding the time for it is going to be difficult. Finding the time to meet up, it's not mental, and it's not emotional. It's something physical, and compared to emotional and mental things, changing the physicality of things is even more difficult or even impossible.
So, yeah, that's how I feel about it all. I'll delve into this all a bit later, because I really need to work on this math project, heh. As well as hype myself up for the hotel stay with a majority of the cast this weekend for Fanime. Oh boy. It's 1:16 AM, see ya.
Week: 42
Songs to Remember: Redbone - Childish Gambino, Stars On 45 - Stars On 45
Ya'll asked for it. I kinda asked for it myself. Although it is 11:41 PM, I'm not tired. Because this time, it's more emotional than it is physical feeling.
In order to keep some integrity with this whole thing (or what's left anyways), I'll be keeping things honest and, unfiltered, so as to fully reflect upon, how I'm feeling right now. Today was a rather fun day. Minus doing nothing in Dance, nothing in math, nothing in Digital Art, listening in English, nothing in Econ, and taking the final (with assistance from built-in Google Translate) in Chinese, I enjoyed it. The stuff after, of course.
I asked Ag to help me get my yearbook early after school, for there was a really, really long line when I got there. I went home and waited on Tm's reply if he would be willing to get his Fanime badge today with me. He was busy, and so I asked Ag. I asked Ag if she would be going for the weekend, and so far it's a yes from her parents, for both the hotel and the Fanime weekend. In fact, umm, after all the recent Fanime drama, I'm actually now comfortable with who I get to go to with.
Because Jk's staying in our hotel room, and so is, Lw, and Ag, and maybe even Ek. I'm actually excited now for the Fanime weekend, heh. Excited may be the wrong word for it though. "Joyful sadness" may be a better, although that's, it's not really a word. It's sad because, although I know I'll be having the time of my life, spending it with people who've stuck with me for so long (in High school times, 2 full years is a lot), I know that it's going to be one of the last things we'll be spending time together, ever again.
I mean, just spending time today, driving me and Ag to the convention center in 40-minute traffic, to finding a place to park, to walking to the convention center from where we parked, to scrambling to find where we get our passes, to driving back, driving to get dinner with her friend, to driving everybody home and ending with me, late at night, driving by myself home after it all.
And this whole realization finally hit me, only today, after all of that, along with Ag informing me about how Kt still talks shit about me. I know that people who do know me, know that what's she saying about me is very off. I inquired Ag about some of the details about the kind of shit she was saying, and that included her saying how I was shallow, how I broke up with her over text, how I'm thirsty as fuck for her, how, I wanted her for her body. And I know, that people who do know won't believe her on all the shit that she's saying. 'Cause all of it's pretty much off.
This portion of this post was edited on June 3, 2017. I removed it because deep down I know that I hold true to myself and what I wrote down, was not true to myself. What I wrote down before was just putting myself down, and I didn't really believe it, so I removed it. This is probably the only edit I will or have ever done, to this caliber, to a past post.
And I know that I said I'd never talk about her again, that I should not even care what she does, that I won't be dwelling on this all any longer. And I'm not, I'm not dwelling, seriously. I've been doing my own shit this whole time. I'm talking about this now because that's what sparked me to think about myself and what I was doing. It sparked me to think about all of this, to think about the people who've supported me over all this time, that they're going to be gone for a majority of the rest of my life, and maybe not even a majority, but forever. Spending time with Ag today and knowing that she's going to be a 4-hour drive away from me in a few months, it's hard to take in.
Yes, luckily the cast and I will still be in the state. But keeping these memories over the course of time, unless we all really feel, cherish this bond enough to not forget about each other in the midst of moving on from this chapter in our lives, it's gonna be difficult. And even then, if we do agree, promise and cross our hearts to group up again to spend another adventure together, coordinating and finding the time for it is going to be difficult. Finding the time to meet up, it's not mental, and it's not emotional. It's something physical, and compared to emotional and mental things, changing the physicality of things is even more difficult or even impossible.
So, yeah, that's how I feel about it all. I'll delve into this all a bit later, because I really need to work on this math project, heh. As well as hype myself up for the hotel stay with a majority of the cast this weekend for Fanime. Oh boy. It's 1:16 AM, see ya.
Wednesday, May 24, 2017
Wednesday, May 24, 2017 "Very Dancey."
Wednesday, May 24, 2017
Week: 42
Songs to Remember: Plz Don't Be Sad - HIGHLIGHT, Very Very Very - I.O.I, Better When I'm Dancing - Meghan Trainor
It's been a while since I wrote on my phone. I'm actually in math right now, and after looking at the clock and seeing that only 9 minutes had passed, I was like "Yeahhh, this is gonna be a long 49 minutes. I'll at least try to get something done."
So tonight I'll be getting home by about 9:00 PM. I can, go out and hang out and eat or whatever, but I got a math project to do, as well as a movie to compile. It's actually not that much, as long as I can stay awake. A general update on things, uhh, my room's a mess, I, haven't really had the time or chance to clean it because of, everything. I got two more dance recitals shows, both of which are today, fortunately and unfortunately. Fortunately that means no more worrying about dance (Dance class that is), and unfortunately that means, two shows in one day. Umm, I have to say I am not at the healthiest I can be right now. Pretty malnourished, sometimes dehydrated, the, that water-challenge commitment is pretty much out the window after recent stuff.
I edited my grad pictures, ready to be printed when I get the chance to. I got my music videos edited, I, the Fanime situation is still a mystery. Tomorrow I'll be driving there after school with Tm to pick up our badges. And then, maybe pick up my grad photo-cards so then I can pass 'em out Friday, of which, will be the first day of Fanime. It's weird 'cause things are pretty much planned out, but at the same time, are still unclear.
Anyways, I'm home now, it's 10:45 PM, aaand, just finished day 2, of the dance recital. There was not one, but two, shows today. And uh, yeah, very tired, was fun though, interacting with everybody. I spent most of it with Ei and Al, the juniors in Hip-hop, as well as Hk and Sc. Pretty fun, as well as tiring. I will now start or, continue doing the Othello video, and then, sleep.
I'll maybe write about it all more, tomorrow. See ya.
Week: 42
Songs to Remember: Plz Don't Be Sad - HIGHLIGHT, Very Very Very - I.O.I, Better When I'm Dancing - Meghan Trainor
It's been a while since I wrote on my phone. I'm actually in math right now, and after looking at the clock and seeing that only 9 minutes had passed, I was like "Yeahhh, this is gonna be a long 49 minutes. I'll at least try to get something done."
So tonight I'll be getting home by about 9:00 PM. I can, go out and hang out and eat or whatever, but I got a math project to do, as well as a movie to compile. It's actually not that much, as long as I can stay awake. A general update on things, uhh, my room's a mess, I, haven't really had the time or chance to clean it because of, everything. I got two more dance recitals shows, both of which are today, fortunately and unfortunately. Fortunately that means no more worrying about dance (Dance class that is), and unfortunately that means, two shows in one day. Umm, I have to say I am not at the healthiest I can be right now. Pretty malnourished, sometimes dehydrated, the, that water-challenge commitment is pretty much out the window after recent stuff.
I edited my grad pictures, ready to be printed when I get the chance to. I got my music videos edited, I, the Fanime situation is still a mystery. Tomorrow I'll be driving there after school with Tm to pick up our badges. And then, maybe pick up my grad photo-cards so then I can pass 'em out Friday, of which, will be the first day of Fanime. It's weird 'cause things are pretty much planned out, but at the same time, are still unclear.
Anyways, I'm home now, it's 10:45 PM, aaand, just finished day 2, of the dance recital. There was not one, but two, shows today. And uh, yeah, very tired, was fun though, interacting with everybody. I spent most of it with Ei and Al, the juniors in Hip-hop, as well as Hk and Sc. Pretty fun, as well as tiring. I will now start or, continue doing the Othello video, and then, sleep.
I'll maybe write about it all more, tomorrow. See ya.
Tuesday, May 23, 2017 "Recital."
Tuesday, May 23, 2017
Week: 42
Songs to Remember: Press Your Number - Taemin, Obsession - Boyfriend
I was here at school from 8:00 AM to 9:00 PM. Now although that's pretty much the same time as other KDT school shows, this one involved a lot more movement.
I'm talking about, changing like, 5 times, and dancing out there for a full total of about 8 minutes or so. Doesn't seem like lot, but when you're rushing to get changed and whatever, it does feel like a lot. So besides the lackluster school day (except for maybe Dance and math. For Dance, we were in the theater practicing and running our dances, while in math, the teacher cooked us pancakes, live, in class. And yeah, they were good. Still doesn't make me like Calculus any more than I do right now, heh), after school was where it was all at.
A rehearsal of the beginning without music, and then a full costume runthrough. The show was about 15 or 20 dances in total. Umm, 2 hours long, I was in 5 dances: the opening number, my class' tap dance, Sc's dance, my class' Hip-hop dance, and finally my dance. They weren't consecutive by the way, it was like, our tap dance, and then a couple of other people's dances, from different periods, and then it was Sc's dance, and then so on.
It was basically, you dance, you rush out to change, come back in and get ready for the next dance that you're in, or relax if it's like, 10 dances away on the list. After our full show run-through, we got an hour break. Me and Sc had thought that a group in our dance class would be going to a Korean BBQ place nearby, but they were actually just kidding, heh, and so we (Sc and I) ended up going to In 'n' Out by ourselves.
This was one of the rare moments now where I had the time to think, to feel my mentality again, feel my emotions again. Sc asked to read her messaging conversation with this guy who messaged her a couple weeks ago, to ask me for my opinion, a dude's opinion, if he's into her. I read it, seemed, alright, and I was like "Yeah, you should drop some more hints, seems mostly casual for now." She's like "Every time, it always ends up bad for me." And that's unfortunately true, and I do feel sorry for her. She puts in all this effort, all this trust, etc, into somebody, and they, turn their back on her. I mean, even for prom, Jv, who was her date, she told me he went off a lot of the time, to his friends, and leaving her be for quite a bit.
It's kinda pointless to think "what if's" now, but it does happen from time to time when you find out things like this. Anyways, we got back to school, Uber'd, back to school, we got dressed and got ready for the show to start. Pretty much all of the dancers were very accomodative. It coul be that the people who take Dance class are, yeah, but I don't know. The atmosphere was very lively, happy, and just positive in general. The show went by, smoothly. Not really any major problems. And of course, I did get to see from fellow KDT underclass-men, who are also taking Dance and therefore are in the recital.
There was also some guest appearances by Tu and Th, who were there in the audience to watch, and who I got to meet after the show. Overall not too bad. The show, that is. There are some conflicts that I have yet to resolve. Such as, but not limited to: the Fanime group situation. Jk left the group, you know, with DrewH and Cc and yeah, and is instead just going with Ek and Lw, who are going the whole weekend. Currently it's a big mess that's more to do with blowing things out of proportion, as well as not trying to be rude. Hopefully things resolve on their own 'cause right now, it's kinda a big mess that I do not want to delve into.
In other problems, it turns out that my group member did not do the Othello final video, at all. She just made a folder on Google Drive for it, which was named "Othello Final Video." I received an email that she shared it with me, as well as asking the group-chat if it should be uploaded to Drive, YouTube, and or USB. And so, that made me think it was done, but in actuality, it's not. And yes, I am the one who must do it, if I want that A, to keep my solid C, floating. The debate here is whether I should sleep now and do it tomorrow night, the day before it's due, or try it tonight, where I really am exhausted from spending 13 hours on school grounds.
Same goes for the math project, however for that I have an extra day on. I also have to print out grad pictures to hand out, receive orders on who wants one, aaand upload my dance music videos. Anyways, we'll see whether I decide to attempt to get some rest of fully commit to working. It's 1:22 AM, see ya.
Week: 42
Songs to Remember: Press Your Number - Taemin, Obsession - Boyfriend
I was here at school from 8:00 AM to 9:00 PM. Now although that's pretty much the same time as other KDT school shows, this one involved a lot more movement.
I'm talking about, changing like, 5 times, and dancing out there for a full total of about 8 minutes or so. Doesn't seem like lot, but when you're rushing to get changed and whatever, it does feel like a lot. So besides the lackluster school day (except for maybe Dance and math. For Dance, we were in the theater practicing and running our dances, while in math, the teacher cooked us pancakes, live, in class. And yeah, they were good. Still doesn't make me like Calculus any more than I do right now, heh), after school was where it was all at.
A rehearsal of the beginning without music, and then a full costume runthrough. The show was about 15 or 20 dances in total. Umm, 2 hours long, I was in 5 dances: the opening number, my class' tap dance, Sc's dance, my class' Hip-hop dance, and finally my dance. They weren't consecutive by the way, it was like, our tap dance, and then a couple of other people's dances, from different periods, and then it was Sc's dance, and then so on.
It was basically, you dance, you rush out to change, come back in and get ready for the next dance that you're in, or relax if it's like, 10 dances away on the list. After our full show run-through, we got an hour break. Me and Sc had thought that a group in our dance class would be going to a Korean BBQ place nearby, but they were actually just kidding, heh, and so we (Sc and I) ended up going to In 'n' Out by ourselves.
This was one of the rare moments now where I had the time to think, to feel my mentality again, feel my emotions again. Sc asked to read her messaging conversation with this guy who messaged her a couple weeks ago, to ask me for my opinion, a dude's opinion, if he's into her. I read it, seemed, alright, and I was like "Yeah, you should drop some more hints, seems mostly casual for now." She's like "Every time, it always ends up bad for me." And that's unfortunately true, and I do feel sorry for her. She puts in all this effort, all this trust, etc, into somebody, and they, turn their back on her. I mean, even for prom, Jv, who was her date, she told me he went off a lot of the time, to his friends, and leaving her be for quite a bit.
It's kinda pointless to think "what if's" now, but it does happen from time to time when you find out things like this. Anyways, we got back to school, Uber'd, back to school, we got dressed and got ready for the show to start. Pretty much all of the dancers were very accomodative. It coul be that the people who take Dance class are, yeah, but I don't know. The atmosphere was very lively, happy, and just positive in general. The show went by, smoothly. Not really any major problems. And of course, I did get to see from fellow KDT underclass-men, who are also taking Dance and therefore are in the recital.
There was also some guest appearances by Tu and Th, who were there in the audience to watch, and who I got to meet after the show. Overall not too bad. The show, that is. There are some conflicts that I have yet to resolve. Such as, but not limited to: the Fanime group situation. Jk left the group, you know, with DrewH and Cc and yeah, and is instead just going with Ek and Lw, who are going the whole weekend. Currently it's a big mess that's more to do with blowing things out of proportion, as well as not trying to be rude. Hopefully things resolve on their own 'cause right now, it's kinda a big mess that I do not want to delve into.
In other problems, it turns out that my group member did not do the Othello final video, at all. She just made a folder on Google Drive for it, which was named "Othello Final Video." I received an email that she shared it with me, as well as asking the group-chat if it should be uploaded to Drive, YouTube, and or USB. And so, that made me think it was done, but in actuality, it's not. And yes, I am the one who must do it, if I want that A, to keep my solid C, floating. The debate here is whether I should sleep now and do it tomorrow night, the day before it's due, or try it tonight, where I really am exhausted from spending 13 hours on school grounds.
Same goes for the math project, however for that I have an extra day on. I also have to print out grad pictures to hand out, receive orders on who wants one, aaand upload my dance music videos. Anyways, we'll see whether I decide to attempt to get some rest of fully commit to working. It's 1:22 AM, see ya.
Tuesday, May 23, 2017
Monday, May 22, 2017 "Nap Myself to Sleep."
Monday, May 22, 2017
Week: 42
Songs to Remember: Movie - BTOB
Yeah I knew I forgot something. This post.
Week: 42
Songs to Remember: Movie - BTOB
Yeah I knew I forgot something. This post.
Sunday, May 21, 2017
Sunday, May 21, 2017 "Press My Work."
Sunday, May 21, 2017
Week: 41
Week: 41
Songs to Remember: Press Your Number - Taemin
These past few days, I have not had time for emotions. All of it had been physical really. And there was no real time to think.
It was just, casual, as casual as it could be. Nothing real serious, which, is a nice flip from all the recent, just everything. Still, I still do end up tired by the end of the day. Not tired emotionally, or mentally, but more so physically, heh. Anyways, let's go over what's happened these past few days, as well as what's coming in season 42.
Friday, there was the end-of-the-year rally. The whole day was just your average day, besides for this rally. Now these rallies, these end-of-the-year rallies, after having sat through them 3 times before already, they're nothing special. The seniors get to parade down the track while the whole school watches from the bleachers, then we all sit and listen to some awards and watch some performances, with audio coming from still-shitty speakers, in the hot sun.
So, I decided to skip this one. By me I mean, Lw and I. We took refuge in her anatomy teacher's classroom, grading papers and just, relaxed. DrewN was also with us for a bit too. I looked on Snapchat and people were posting pictures of these pink water-bottles that had "Class of 2017" on them. I was like "What the shit, they're giving out free stuff." And with that, Lw, DrewN, and I, we all raced to the baseball field to get our free stuff, and then proceeded (just me and Lw this time) back to the classroom.
There was also KDT practice that day as well. We ran through the Fanime performance a few times, and then the rest of the 2 hours went towards working on our KDT group performances, for ya know, the KDT end performance, at our picnic next week. Not bad, I, I learned a lot. I especially learned, that I need to learn A LOT, of dances, heh, but uh, yeah. Good connecting with Cc, and, Tm, and Jd. Uhhh, yesterday, or, Saturday. That was the road trip with the cast and I, the FULL cast and I, to a city 25 minutes away, in order for us to take some grad pictures.
The location wasn't that great to be honest. It was at a park, where, there was a lot of other people there as well. The real gems in my opinion, were the cities and locations leading up to that park. We passed by Apple headquarters (in our car of course), as well the Netflix headquarters. I was like "What th- holy shit, this, fuck man." Unfortunately we could not stay to visit, because we needed to get home, and it was getting dark.
That was around, from 3:00 PM to 10:00 PM, so, quite a long time, heh. And yes, I was the one driving my car. Jh was driving as well. I was pretty exhausted after it all. The cast (most of ) stayed at my house for a bit. We were supposed to have game-night, but, we were all too exhausted to, do anything. And sleepy.
Today, today I shot my second music video, with Jk helping me, at the local railroad tracks. Other than that, I've just been editing photos, videos. I think I'd be dead had I not find out that one of my group members had already edited a final video for our Othello project. I was like "Oh. Guess, guess I don't have to do it."
This week, as Cc said, will be interesting. I honestly do not know how I will manage my time with, all the shit I gotta do. And it's all ranging from editing, to projects, to bulk work, to dancing. It's, it's a lot. And right now, I don't have much time or, energy, for feelings right now. Really, it's all just been, focusing on what I gotta do soon, or, later, or tomorrow. I'm sure it will hit me once, once the workload gets softened. But for now, it's 10:17 PM. See ya.
Saturday, May 20, 2017 "Trip."
Saturday, May 20, 2017
Week: 41
Songs to Remember: Tunnel Vision - Kodak Black, Slide - Calvin Harris
I'm just going to have tomorrow be a recap day post. I, really do have a lot to do, and I mean a lot. And uh, right now, although it is only 12:25 AM, I am exhausted. More so physically than anything. See ya.
Week: 41
Songs to Remember: Tunnel Vision - Kodak Black, Slide - Calvin Harris
I'm just going to have tomorrow be a recap day post. I, really do have a lot to do, and I mean a lot. And uh, right now, although it is only 12:25 AM, I am exhausted. More so physically than anything. See ya.
Saturday, May 20, 2017
Friday, May 19, 2017 "Cinema."
Friday, May 19, 2017
Week: 41
Songs to Remember: Movie - BTOB, Press Your Number - Taemin
It's scary. It's scary that these last, what? 9 episodes? are mostly just me being too tired to write. And I haven't given up on this.
It's mostly because I do forget about it, until I come home and find that it's like, 1:00 AM, and there's a shit-ton to write about. Like I said before, it's amazing that I am enjoying these last few days with people who care about me. I'm having so much fun that I forget, to write about it all, or that I'm too tired from all the fun to write a lot.
And it's scary because that's, good. Like, it's scary good. But a part pf me also doesn't want all this work, this commitment, of detailing it all (or mostly) for the future. Since I don't have any obligation to wake up early tomorrow, I can at least write what was done today, tomorrow. And then most likely continue/ start tomorrow's real post, in the post after. Because there is A LOT, to detail, both physically, like, in-action stuff, as well as, mental and emotional stuff. Which so far, I'm kinda underestimating. I'm putting my emotional and mental stuff down.
My mental and emotional state, they're pretty good right now. And I've been putting them down so much, because of past stuff, as well as uncertainties in the future. And it is, without a doubt, scary, to think about. I'm still keeping my hopes at a medium, in case the worst happens and I won't get disappointed, or the best happens, and I get the thrill of a lifetime. Anyways, it's 2:56 AM, see ya.
Week: 41
Songs to Remember: Movie - BTOB, Press Your Number - Taemin
It's scary. It's scary that these last, what? 9 episodes? are mostly just me being too tired to write. And I haven't given up on this.
It's mostly because I do forget about it, until I come home and find that it's like, 1:00 AM, and there's a shit-ton to write about. Like I said before, it's amazing that I am enjoying these last few days with people who care about me. I'm having so much fun that I forget, to write about it all, or that I'm too tired from all the fun to write a lot.
And it's scary because that's, good. Like, it's scary good. But a part pf me also doesn't want all this work, this commitment, of detailing it all (or mostly) for the future. Since I don't have any obligation to wake up early tomorrow, I can at least write what was done today, tomorrow. And then most likely continue/ start tomorrow's real post, in the post after. Because there is A LOT, to detail, both physically, like, in-action stuff, as well as, mental and emotional stuff. Which so far, I'm kinda underestimating. I'm putting my emotional and mental stuff down.
My mental and emotional state, they're pretty good right now. And I've been putting them down so much, because of past stuff, as well as uncertainties in the future. And it is, without a doubt, scary, to think about. I'm still keeping my hopes at a medium, in case the worst happens and I won't get disappointed, or the best happens, and I get the thrill of a lifetime. Anyways, it's 2:56 AM, see ya.
Friday, May 19, 2017
Thursday, May 18, 2017 "What is Slow in Vegas."
Thursday, May 18, 2017
Week: 41
Songs to Remember: Pretty - Nu'est
It's 4:06 AM, and Sony Vegas is being an ass right now. You already know what I'm getting at. Sleep. See ya.
Week: 41
Songs to Remember: Pretty - Nu'est
It's 4:06 AM, and Sony Vegas is being an ass right now. You already know what I'm getting at. Sleep. See ya.
Thursday, May 18, 2017
Wednesday, May 17, 2017 "Introduce Me to the Night."
Wednesday, May 17, 2017
Week: 41
Songs to Remember: Issues - Julia Michaels, How R U - Airplane, I'm Sorry - Nu'est, Pretty - Nu'est
Now the downside with me spending this much time out late at night is that I end up too tired to really write much detail.
Besides the usual day (really, nothing really done or was out of the ordinary in any of my classes. It really is pointless to attend class anymore since I do not do anything), I arrived home (after a haircut, probably my most favorite since as far as I can remember) at 3:00 PM, tried to relax for a it before having to get ready for the bootleg-ass senior awards night.
There was mandatory practice today during 3rd and 4th. The seating was numbered, like, split-alphabetical, so, can't sit next to your friends. We, stood, and sat. Basically it, and uh, not really sure why it was needed but, okay. I drove to school, by myself, at around 5:30 PM after getting ready. Had to arrive there by 5:45 PM, but umm, things went sorta awry, and uh, heh, I got there at like 6:00 PM. Fortunately for me though, they did not really start anything until about 6:30 PM or 6:45 PM, so I was good.
I stood in line next to this one girl whom I knew before-hand, online, on Facebook, and through mutuals. Never really talked to her, at all, ever, but I knew her. She's been to KDT practices for her friends, never really participated in the practices, just, watched. And so, she knows me I guess, from online, as well as KDT practices. It was a long time standing in line aaand, I did want to say something, so that we can talk and pass the time.
But you know me, heh, although I do like to take risks and do whatever, shit like this still gets to me. Luckily, she initiated and said she liked my hair (at this point it's kinda like a neopolitan mess with blonde, pink, and a hint of blue). I thanked her and she continued with "You're from KDT right," and then that fell into talks about classes, Korean class, K-Pop groups, current stuff, etc. Went pretty well.
We finally got into the gym and sat down at around 7:30 PM. It was like, 140 seniors or something, maybe a bit more, a bit less. 140 that showed up, that is, to the awards shit. You sit, you wait for your name to be called so you can walk up, hear them announce the shit you've earned, shake hands with the principal and a school-board member, pose for a picture, and sit back down. I was actually falling asleep during the first hour or so. It was, godamn, heh. But it was nice seeing a little overview of my class and, who's going where and whatnot.
For me, I uh, I got the gold chord, which is for having a GPA of 3.25 or higher (weighted too). Approximately 90% of the people there got it so, nothing special. I got a gold seal or some shit, which will be on my diploma. I think that's for 3.5 GPA or higher. And uh, one other award for which I do not know what.
Umm, so yeah, 2 hours of that, surprisingly it did end at 9:00 PM as they stated. At this point, it was me, Lw, and Ek, in my car. We called up Jk and Ag and they were down to go get some milk tea. I picked them up, I stopped at Safeway 'cause I needed dinner, so we got chicken wings, aaand, I got myself some bootleg DIY lunchables. Not bad, very high in sodium, but not bad. Drove to the milk tea place outside my house, and then, the cast (so for this time, it was just me, Jk, Ag, Lw, and Ek) stayed at my house until about 12:00 AM. We played some games of "One Night Ultimate Werewolf" again, ate, aaand, then I drove 'em home. Driving at night is only a smidgen harder than driving during the day in my opinion. The downside: you can barely see shit. The upside though, there's less traffic. So there you go, Drew, you're, you're independancing.
My parents did not go to the ceremony, but, I came home to see the paper program, so, apparently they did go. Which makes me wonder if they followed me to see how I drove at night. Anyways, it's been a long, long day. I got, another long one tomorrow, plus Friday, and Saturday. Lots, lots of, outside work, outside as in, I'm able to work on things, only outside of class. But yeah, it's 1:33 AM, I am beat, see ya.
Now the downside with me spending this much time out late at night is that I end up too tired to really write much detail.
Besides the usual day (really, nothing really done or was out of the ordinary in any of my classes. It really is pointless to attend class anymore since I do not do anything), I arrived home (after a haircut, probably my most favorite since as far as I can remember) at 3:00 PM, tried to relax for a it before having to get ready for the bootleg-ass senior awards night.
There was mandatory practice today during 3rd and 4th. The seating was numbered, like, split-alphabetical, so, can't sit next to your friends. We, stood, and sat. Basically it, and uh, not really sure why it was needed but, okay. I drove to school, by myself, at around 5:30 PM after getting ready. Had to arrive there by 5:45 PM, but umm, things went sorta awry, and uh, heh, I got there at like 6:00 PM. Fortunately for me though, they did not really start anything until about 6:30 PM or 6:45 PM, so I was good.
I stood in line next to this one girl whom I knew before-hand, online, on Facebook, and through mutuals. Never really talked to her, at all, ever, but I knew her. She's been to KDT practices for her friends, never really participated in the practices, just, watched. And so, she knows me I guess, from online, as well as KDT practices. It was a long time standing in line aaand, I did want to say something, so that we can talk and pass the time.
But you know me, heh, although I do like to take risks and do whatever, shit like this still gets to me. Luckily, she initiated and said she liked my hair (at this point it's kinda like a neopolitan mess with blonde, pink, and a hint of blue). I thanked her and she continued with "You're from KDT right," and then that fell into talks about classes, Korean class, K-Pop groups, current stuff, etc. Went pretty well.
We finally got into the gym and sat down at around 7:30 PM. It was like, 140 seniors or something, maybe a bit more, a bit less. 140 that showed up, that is, to the awards shit. You sit, you wait for your name to be called so you can walk up, hear them announce the shit you've earned, shake hands with the principal and a school-board member, pose for a picture, and sit back down. I was actually falling asleep during the first hour or so. It was, godamn, heh. But it was nice seeing a little overview of my class and, who's going where and whatnot.
For me, I uh, I got the gold chord, which is for having a GPA of 3.25 or higher (weighted too). Approximately 90% of the people there got it so, nothing special. I got a gold seal or some shit, which will be on my diploma. I think that's for 3.5 GPA or higher. And uh, one other award for which I do not know what.
Umm, so yeah, 2 hours of that, surprisingly it did end at 9:00 PM as they stated. At this point, it was me, Lw, and Ek, in my car. We called up Jk and Ag and they were down to go get some milk tea. I picked them up, I stopped at Safeway 'cause I needed dinner, so we got chicken wings, aaand, I got myself some bootleg DIY lunchables. Not bad, very high in sodium, but not bad. Drove to the milk tea place outside my house, and then, the cast (so for this time, it was just me, Jk, Ag, Lw, and Ek) stayed at my house until about 12:00 AM. We played some games of "One Night Ultimate Werewolf" again, ate, aaand, then I drove 'em home. Driving at night is only a smidgen harder than driving during the day in my opinion. The downside: you can barely see shit. The upside though, there's less traffic. So there you go, Drew, you're, you're independancing.
My parents did not go to the ceremony, but, I came home to see the paper program, so, apparently they did go. Which makes me wonder if they followed me to see how I drove at night. Anyways, it's been a long, long day. I got, another long one tomorrow, plus Friday, and Saturday. Lots, lots of, outside work, outside as in, I'm able to work on things, only outside of class. But yeah, it's 1:33 AM, I am beat, see ya.
Wednesday, May 17, 2017
Tuesday, May 16, 2017 "Guiltulative."
Tuesday, May 16, 2017
Week: 41
Songs to Remember: For Real (진짜를 꺼내봐) - OVAN (오반), Drawing the Line - Royal Pirates,
Nope, it's just Tuesday, and yes, it is 12:03 AM. I only now realized that, since there ain't gonna be anymore seasons or pre-seasons after next next week, that means the series will be ending on season 43.
So I got some work done today. Got some design finished, got some bits and pieces of work done. Still got a lot though. These days I've just been way too tired. There's just been so much that's happened the past couple months, there's still so much that's yet to happen or are going to happen these few weeks.
In terms of, events outside of school that is. 'Course school events too, but. Coursework, I should say, is, really nothing at this point. I mean, in Chinese, we've literally ran out of stuff to do. We've already done our final as well so, nothing really to prepare for. Same goes math, and uh, yeah.
Okay so I was gonna end this post here but there's actually some stuff I can talk about now, I just remembered. Today, there's been some drama, some, really, necessary drama. I told Jk about how me, Cc, Tm, and Cc's friend (KDT member, he was only in the Lunar Show performance and that was it). Her friend actually added me on Facebook yesterday. It was kinda out of nowhere but I was like "Alright." He asked me how things were going and I was like "It's been alright." And then he's like "So I heard you and Cathy are gonna be sharing a hotel room. Do you have any extra room for one more?"
And I'm thinking like "tsk, BOI." Like, heh, I mean alright. Now I didn't mention this before but there's been some conflict, some under-ground conflict, between him and DrewH. DrewH and him, we'll, actually I think I gave him a name before. It was like, Xn, or something. We'll just use that for now. So, him and Xn, they're, they've both been trying to get at Cathy for a while now. I know because of, DrewH's snapchat stories. I also asked him about a something that he shared on Snapchat, and he gave me access to read this one anecdotal story he wrote with the names "censored out," buuuut, it was pretty obvious who the characters were, heh.
And he really hates Xn too. Like, really hates him. I know because, he made some lists that were posted on his Snapchat story, detailing some of the dislikes that DrewH has for Xn. Some, err, more so, most, was pretty just plain mean, mean things. Uhhh, yeah, so there's the backstory on that. Anyways, Xn asks if he can join in on the hotel stuff and uh, I asked Cc if she was alright with it and she was like "I'm fine with anything," so I was like "Alright," and gave him the okay. Well, today, I uh, told Jk about my Fanime plans, he inadvertently told DrewH about the Fanime plans (I don't think he knows about Xn staying in the hotel room with us, so that's good), and uh, DrewH told Cc that he's not going to Fanime anymore.
So now there's this whole dilema, with words being tossed around, details, all between me, Jk, Cc, DrewH, and Xn. Xn's asking me like "Can you help a brotha out" and like, Jk's helping Cc keep tabs on DrewH's actions, DrewH ain't responding to Cc's responses over text, and, it's just, all stemming from DrewH really. From Cc and Xn and Jk's details, DrewH got some people to try to guilt her into like, begging or asking DrewH to re-think his decision on not going to Fanime. And that's, where my personal input comes in.
When Cc told me that DrewH is getting people to guilt-trip her and shit to get her to beg him to go and shit, that made me feel bad. I thought to myself "Aw fuck, that's, kinda what I did too." I did not know that, what I did before, with the whole, you-know, situation, wasn't actually going in the direction where I wanted it to. It veered off and instead, just, made somebody feel bad, worried, etc. It wasn't, improving, my situation, it was lowering hers. And in the end? Shit still didn't go the way I wanted things to.
Shit like this kind of manipulation, I would now suggest to, not try it. On the off-chance that it works, hey, good for you. But really it's, just shady stuff. You first have to consider the other person's existing feelings, and then how all of that would affect them. You gotta, ask yourself "What if this was done to me, with me already feeling blah blah etc, how would I feel after?" So yeah, if there's something that I did wrong, another, mistake, that I made in that all, it was definitely the manipulation part. If there's any justification at all (which there never should be), it was the detail given to me that mutuals and outside sources had an impact on it all.
But anyways, back to this situation. Cc feels like she doesn't know what to do. I reassured her that she's not obligated to do anything and that really, this is all stemming from DrewH. If he chooses to not to go, that's his decision. He just has to put aside the fact that just one, single person he dislikes, is going to the same location as he is, nearing the person he appreciates. And it does seem that he cares about Cc, but from Cc's detailing, it's kinda just controlling at points, and is he's just being, immature. Manipulative at times, like this, to get his way.
From her recollection, this ain't the first time. Back in October, he did the same exact thing, and only because Xn was going to be going with them. Shit's, he's getting on her nerves, from what Cc told me. All this is just stemming from one person, and yes, this is unecessary. All of this. Like, it was all going well, Cc was feeling all good today, and then after that she was just, ehhhh. It's, unfortunate, that these things happen, and like, even Cc's trying to talk to him about it, like, ask the reasons behind some the shit, but so far he has not responded or from Jk's intel, he doesn't want to talk.
So it's just like ??? Like, the Nick Young face. Anyways, hopefully time will, make things, change minds. It's 1:07 AM, I'm tired, see ya.
Tuesday, May 16, 2017
Monday, May 15, 2017 "Give Me Time."
Monday, May 15, 2017
Week: 41
Songs to Remember: Drawing the Line - Royal Pirates, Better When I'm Dancing - Meghan Trainor
I am so, so, so, so, so, so, so short, on time. I so many deadlines to meet, it's, crazy. And shit just keeps on stacking and stacking, I am not allowed one-second of slacking off.
Another overview of what I gotta do and finish this week or next week: math project, editing a tutorial video for how I make my mixes, edit my group's Othello film video for English, create some logos for this K-Pop logo contest, memorize dances (5 for Dance class, 1 for the KDT Fanime performance, and 4 for the KDT picnic, and 2 for my music video edits), plan out location and time for grad photos, plan out the trip and who's staying for the Fanime weekend, Dance recital practices plus performances next week, writing out a script for what I wanna say at the KDT picnic, as well as the usual work of other classes on top of all that.
Now it may not seem like a lot, but having all that within the constraint of this week and next week, there's not breathing room. At all. I mean I barely got work done today. There is so much shit that comes up that I, I can't keep up with. Like today for example, I had to go to one of my group member's house again to wrap up filming our stupid Othello movie project. But oh whadya know, today just happens to be a day for KDT practice, as usual but, also, after school, there's an opening-number practice for the seniors for Dance class.
So I had to miss KDT practice, as well as 45 minutes of filming time. Tomorrow hopefully there'll be no interruptions. Wednesday, oh boy, there's fucking, MORNING practice, for those in senior awards night. Then, the awards night starts at 7:00 PM, meaning, I get like, no time to work at home on these fucking videos. I have, I've yet to practice the dances I'll be doing for my music video edits I'll be shooting at the grad photo trip with the cast this Saturday. Still, still figuring stuff out on plans for Fanime because things are still yet to be set in stone. Thursday, I gotta get some videos and photo-editing done. I gotta prepare the ending to the series with planning out what I'ma say, info, etc. Gather pictures, umm, just.
I'd just really like some sleep, right now, because I am still falling asleep in some classes. And this just, there's no way, I can soak in these last couple weeks of being in High school, being this naive, this care-free, this, imagining of a television series. I can't do all that fully, with all this hanging over my head. It's insane. There's probably even more shit I gotta remember to do before deadlines but, it's slipping my mind right now. Seriously, I gotta, rush. And, I'ma have to sacrifice some more sleep.
IT'S FUCKING INSANE. For my at least, because I do not recall any other time where I got this many deadlines all at once. But yeah, it's 12:44 AM right now, I think I'll call it a night. Hopefully a good chunk of whatever gets done tomorrow. See ya. Also something to note: I do not enjoy the song "Better When You're Dancing," it's just stuck in my head right now from hearing it over and over again today in Dance class, and so that's making me like it. You get what I mean. Anyways, see ya.
Sunday, May 14, 2017 "What is the Plan."
Sunday, May 14, 2017
Week: 40
Songs to Remember: Movie - BTOB
Welcome back to another episode of "lasting memories" featuring your host, Drew. I think for today the "memories" part should be replaced with "work," because I really am making my work last with how long I'm pushing things off for.
But, I did manage to get a few things done. I got to finish a card for my mom for mother's day, as well as making a couple mixes for my upcoming music video edits I'll be shooting, with the help of Jk, next week during the cast and I's graduation or "grad" photo shoot.
I also planned a lot too. Like, my music video shoot next week, plus photoshoot. And uh, printing out and writing letters on photocards to pass out to people at school. You know, like uh, on Facebook, when people are like "Comment down below which one you want and if you want a letter with one," etc. So there's that, aaand uh, considering Fanime is essentially the last fun, extravagant thing before the KDT picnic on the last day of school, I kinda want it to be as fun as possible.
So, I'm planning to rent me and few buddies who are hopefully going to be staying overnight if I do so, a room at a hotel or inn (right now it's inn because fuck $200 a night) so we can basically have it all be just, focused, on having fun. I really do wanna make it great, and, ya know what, it's essentially like grad night. You know, like how some schools have an ending field trip stay for the seniors at a theme park or whatever. Mine, mine doesn't, and so I'm making my own grad night, at a, cool-ass place, with some of the people I love.
And if you're wondering about money, I'm willing to work this summer to make back the price. Plus I still have my Supreme stuff I need to sell, so that'll bring back some of what I had on my account. I think I've said before that, I don't care about money. I should though, but when it comes to stuff like this, money doesn't matter to me. My boy Tm wants to go to Fanime, would really like to go, but considering the cost of the pass, more than likely he's not. And so, I told him I'd get him a pass for free. He doesn't know that I'm actually paying for it, but, knowing that he's happy about it, and the fact that I'll be able to enjoy the weekdn with another one of my favorite buddies, whom I met not even that long ago, heh. I only talked to at the KASA show this year, and sharing mutual friends, and having similar sense of humor and interests, we connected to what we have now.
That's basically what I got planned for Fanime right now. Me, Cc, and Tm sharing a room overnight for Fanime. Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. Jk and the others, they'll probably just drive to and from to the convention, but who knows. The more, the merrier right? Hooooooo boy, if this all works, and things get confirmed, shit's gonna be lit.
Other plans include, plans as in, things I gotta confirm or do, are: writing out my speech for the KDT picnic, learn choreo for my music video shoot, learn the choreo for songs for the KDT picnic (for myself and for DUSK, the KDT sub-group consisting of me, Cc, Tm, Jb, and Jd). Can't forget about math, that stupid math project. Aaand start editting the tutorial video for how I make my mixes.Yeah that's, about it. Quite a bit I need to do, and considering tomorrow I gotta finish filming the Othello project with my group after school, plus editing the video for it all too (I really, really need a good grade on this, heh), with, with KDT practice Friday as well, yeah it's gonna be insane this week.
But, you know what? If this all makes the ending of this series even more grand, then so be it. Can't, can't lay off my ass now, I can do that in about 3 weeks, heh. Anyways, it's 11:37 PM, see ya.
Welcome back to another episode of "lasting memories" featuring your host, Drew. I think for today the "memories" part should be replaced with "work," because I really am making my work last with how long I'm pushing things off for.
But, I did manage to get a few things done. I got to finish a card for my mom for mother's day, as well as making a couple mixes for my upcoming music video edits I'll be shooting, with the help of Jk, next week during the cast and I's graduation or "grad" photo shoot.
I also planned a lot too. Like, my music video shoot next week, plus photoshoot. And uh, printing out and writing letters on photocards to pass out to people at school. You know, like uh, on Facebook, when people are like "Comment down below which one you want and if you want a letter with one," etc. So there's that, aaand uh, considering Fanime is essentially the last fun, extravagant thing before the KDT picnic on the last day of school, I kinda want it to be as fun as possible.
So, I'm planning to rent me and few buddies who are hopefully going to be staying overnight if I do so, a room at a hotel or inn (right now it's inn because fuck $200 a night) so we can basically have it all be just, focused, on having fun. I really do wanna make it great, and, ya know what, it's essentially like grad night. You know, like how some schools have an ending field trip stay for the seniors at a theme park or whatever. Mine, mine doesn't, and so I'm making my own grad night, at a, cool-ass place, with some of the people I love.
And if you're wondering about money, I'm willing to work this summer to make back the price. Plus I still have my Supreme stuff I need to sell, so that'll bring back some of what I had on my account. I think I've said before that, I don't care about money. I should though, but when it comes to stuff like this, money doesn't matter to me. My boy Tm wants to go to Fanime, would really like to go, but considering the cost of the pass, more than likely he's not. And so, I told him I'd get him a pass for free. He doesn't know that I'm actually paying for it, but, knowing that he's happy about it, and the fact that I'll be able to enjoy the weekdn with another one of my favorite buddies, whom I met not even that long ago, heh. I only talked to at the KASA show this year, and sharing mutual friends, and having similar sense of humor and interests, we connected to what we have now.
That's basically what I got planned for Fanime right now. Me, Cc, and Tm sharing a room overnight for Fanime. Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. Jk and the others, they'll probably just drive to and from to the convention, but who knows. The more, the merrier right? Hooooooo boy, if this all works, and things get confirmed, shit's gonna be lit.
Other plans include, plans as in, things I gotta confirm or do, are: writing out my speech for the KDT picnic, learn choreo for my music video shoot, learn the choreo for songs for the KDT picnic (for myself and for DUSK, the KDT sub-group consisting of me, Cc, Tm, Jb, and Jd). Can't forget about math, that stupid math project. Aaand start editting the tutorial video for how I make my mixes.Yeah that's, about it. Quite a bit I need to do, and considering tomorrow I gotta finish filming the Othello project with my group after school, plus editing the video for it all too (I really, really need a good grade on this, heh), with, with KDT practice Friday as well, yeah it's gonna be insane this week.
But, you know what? If this all makes the ending of this series even more grand, then so be it. Can't, can't lay off my ass now, I can do that in about 3 weeks, heh. Anyways, it's 11:37 PM, see ya.
Sunday, May 14, 2017
Saturday, May 13, 2017 "One Night Ultimate Cast."
Saturday, May 13, 2017
Week: 40
Week: 40
Songs to Remember: Movie - BTOB
Now I could write all about friends or about how solo driving or just driving in general is a step towards independency and growing up, but then I would spend more time writing than I would actually, spending my time, with friends and growing up.
Also because it's 1:50 AM and I'm tired, heh. It's weird to think about that, but anyways, I was out of the house at 9:00 AM, to pick up Rh and Tm for KDT practice, which lasted from 10 to 12 AM. Afterwards, I drove Rh and Ln to eat at this one burger place about, 15 minutes away, which wasn't actually that great as people make it out to be. Their menu selection was rather small, and, well, common.
It was my first time there though, so, yeah. Also, first time on the freeway today. Not as scary as you'd expect. I'd say it's more calm than regular roads since there's so much, "road-freedom," I'd say. As in, you got so much room to maneuver around, compared to, compressed streets. Umm, so, I drove both of them home afterwards, I drove home to wait until 3:00 PM where I drove to one of my English group member's house to film some more of our English project.
We got a good chunk done, but we're still not finished. That lasted from 3:00 PM to 6:30 PM. I, now this is one for the stupid books, I will have to admit, but, I started up my car, or, at least I thought I did, and, the wheel was so hard to turn, the car was drifting forwards, I could not reverse, I was like "What the fuck, are you kidding me." There were icons on the dash, I thought shit was broken, I quickly looked up what they meant to no avail. I was like "Fuck, what the fuck did I do, why does this have to happen now."
I was about to hit the parked car in front of me, I was like inches away, heh. Fortunately, with my quick thinking, I was like "Wait, did I even start the engine." Turned the key, and yep, engine started. My car was drifting and the steering wheel was hard to move, only because I only turned the car on, but not the engine. For fuck's sake, I got myself scared for such a stupid-ass thing. And yes, feel free to laugh, because I was just, awestruck with my stupidity.
It's been a long day, okay. Drove to Safeway to pick myself up some snacks, drove back home by 7:20 PM, the cast was looking to hang out, mostly at somebody's house, and, I offered mine. They came on over after 8:00 PM, it was, basically the whole cast: Jk, Ek, Lw, Jh, and Ag. DrewN couldn't make it 'cause he had a project to do as well as being sick, so. We'll figure something out next week. For now though, or, a couple hours ago, the cast and I played "One Night Ultimate Werewolf," which is literally just "mafia" or "town of salem" but with more roles/ modified roles/modified strategy.
At around 10:00 PM, (or rather, right before closing time), the cast and I got Burger King, near my house, and we continued to play ONUW until about 12:00 AM when people had to leave. I gotta be honest, I was getting kinda bored, I was mostly just thinking. But, I got to spend time with the cast, and, knowing that, I won't be able to anymore, or at least, often, it made it even more, sentimental.
But yeah, a lot of progression today. Just, in developing me in general. And godamn am I tired. Like I said, I could go into even more depth about this whole day, but I am tired, and God knows what's gonna happen tomorrow or the week after. Anyways, see ya.
Saturday, May 13, 2017
Friday, May 12, 2017 "Soon to Miss."
Friday, May 12, 2017
Week: 40
Songs to Remember: Press Your Number - Taemin
Current state: my room's a mess, I got into no songs for Fanime evaluations besides my own that I taught (BTS' Not Today), I went with Jh and Ag for a milk tea "run" about an hour ago, it's 11:53 PM, I'm discussing some intel with Ag, tomorrow I'm picking up Rh and Tm in the morning to go to KDT practice tomorrow, aaand, most likely me and a few others, I'll be driving around to go eat afterwards.
And, on top of all that, I got some English project filming to do at around 3:00 PM, and, some Chinese editing that I gotta do, due tomorrow night at 11:00 PM. Now, today was, your above average day. After doing, getting our costumes checked for Dance, for our dance rectial next next week, and, doing nothing in 2nd period, work in 3rd, work/nothing in 4th, nothing in 5th, and essentially nothing in 6th, there was finally KDT practice, with, the last evaluations, ever for me, heh.
There were only 7 spots for each song, which in total were like, 5, so, it was tough. Umm, yeah, fortunately I was able to make it into one, even though I was, automatically in for it, but, ya know, it's alright, and I, I had my run. It was good, I got to, I got to be in front for some songs so, gotta give it to the others yeah. This, this was the last KDT evaluations I'd be partaking in, so, that made me realize that, even with the mental battles I've had over the course of this semester, or any other times, I think I'll have one of my biggest obstacles coming to me soon.
And that's overcoming, getting over, moving on, from being with my KDT family. Yeah it's, I've only been with them for 2 years, but, it, it changed my life. I would not be where I am at right now, had it not been for KDT. I'll get more into this in my last few posts, and my speech for the KDT picnic.
But yeah, just wanted to address that for now. It's gonna be, it's gonna hit me hard, and I most likely will cry during the last day, when we're having our KDT picnic. Fuck man, just, thinking about it all, it's gonna hit me hard. All of it. Luckily, I still got a couple weeks left to wrap things up, finish, finish what I wanna finish, meet deadlines, tie loose ends, all of it. Because after all this, I'ma to, I'ma have to close the chapter and, not really return to it ever again. So just, make do, do, whatever, because I can, heh. Anyways, it's late, see ya.
Week: 40
Songs to Remember: Press Your Number - Taemin
Current state: my room's a mess, I got into no songs for Fanime evaluations besides my own that I taught (BTS' Not Today), I went with Jh and Ag for a milk tea "run" about an hour ago, it's 11:53 PM, I'm discussing some intel with Ag, tomorrow I'm picking up Rh and Tm in the morning to go to KDT practice tomorrow, aaand, most likely me and a few others, I'll be driving around to go eat afterwards.
And, on top of all that, I got some English project filming to do at around 3:00 PM, and, some Chinese editing that I gotta do, due tomorrow night at 11:00 PM. Now, today was, your above average day. After doing, getting our costumes checked for Dance, for our dance rectial next next week, and, doing nothing in 2nd period, work in 3rd, work/nothing in 4th, nothing in 5th, and essentially nothing in 6th, there was finally KDT practice, with, the last evaluations, ever for me, heh.
There were only 7 spots for each song, which in total were like, 5, so, it was tough. Umm, yeah, fortunately I was able to make it into one, even though I was, automatically in for it, but, ya know, it's alright, and I, I had my run. It was good, I got to, I got to be in front for some songs so, gotta give it to the others yeah. This, this was the last KDT evaluations I'd be partaking in, so, that made me realize that, even with the mental battles I've had over the course of this semester, or any other times, I think I'll have one of my biggest obstacles coming to me soon.
And that's overcoming, getting over, moving on, from being with my KDT family. Yeah it's, I've only been with them for 2 years, but, it, it changed my life. I would not be where I am at right now, had it not been for KDT. I'll get more into this in my last few posts, and my speech for the KDT picnic.
But yeah, just wanted to address that for now. It's gonna be, it's gonna hit me hard, and I most likely will cry during the last day, when we're having our KDT picnic. Fuck man, just, thinking about it all, it's gonna hit me hard. All of it. Luckily, I still got a couple weeks left to wrap things up, finish, finish what I wanna finish, meet deadlines, tie loose ends, all of it. Because after all this, I'ma to, I'ma have to close the chapter and, not really return to it ever again. So just, make do, do, whatever, because I can, heh. Anyways, it's late, see ya.
Friday, May 12, 2017
Thursday, May 11, 2017 "Compiled."
Thursday, May 11, 2017
Week: 40
Songs to Remember: 365 Fresh - Triple H, Strange - MASC, Sad Song - SECHSKIES, Press Your Number - Taemin
Well, this week's been pretty tiring so far. Not tiring as in like "God, there is so much work," but tiring as in "Man I'm, I'm kinda just done with all this shit."
I'm sick, of, doing these repeated tasks over and over again, and I do blame most of it on senioritis. I am putting the least, the, minimal effort possible, for me to get by and get through these last few weeks. I've been advised to sulk it all in by my English teacher (he didn't tell me it directly, but rather the class as a whole), sulk it all in before it ends, but I don't know man, I'm not sure if I'll miss, if I'll miss sitting in math doing nothing, or in SSR in Econ and doing nothing, or, doing bulk-work/ paying attention in Chinese/acting like I'm paying attention in Chinese, heh.
Or, sitting at my desk and doing work or not doing work in Digital Art, the list goes on. Of course I'll most likely miss the, miss interacting with the people in my Dance class the most, they're people whom I actually connect to, out of, all the rest of my classes, heh. But yeah, I'm just done with it all. I've realized that it's been 4 straight years of this, 4 straight years of roaming pretty much the same routes every year, seeing pretty much the same people through-out the years, most of the years.
The state of my classes right now are, and will continue to be like this for the most part, discounting Dance: for Dance, we're just learning a new dance, practicing our dances/wrapping things up, essentially just, practicing. Next next week, we'll be having our dance recital which will be on a Monday or Tuesday after school or something. Umm, so those will be fun days. Math, currently, we're doing nothing in class. Literally. Time goes by real slow when you're not doing anything. We got assigned one last project, which is like an art project, so, just gotta get it finished and, I'm done, heh. No more calculus, for now.
Digital Art, it's essentially been the same for the entire year. Just either me doing nothing, or working on Chinese work, or, actually doing work for the class, which, can be done real quick if I so wish to. English, we're just working on worksheets for this book called "Things Fall Apart," aaand, reading it in class. Essentially, slow-paced work. I am, however, on the verge of failing English, with a C- (apparently) but uh, hopefully with the submission of my group's skit video, once we're finished with it, it will hopefully boost me up to a more comfortable level. Then, I just gotta read the book, and, we're gucci. Econ, essentially either sitting there and taking notes, or, listening to some stories, or, watching a video/movie. In SSR, very relaxing, even with the crazy shenanigans that people in my class commit, heh.
And Chinese, it's, literally been the same as it has ever been for the past 3 years of it. Not a thing has changed, not a thing. That's pretty much it for, how it's all going, academic-wise. Very mellow for the most part.
Now let's talk about the weather. Amazing, amazing weather. Not too cold, not too hot. It's perfect, right now. Perfect except for the fact that these allergies are penetrating my allergy medication defenses, and uh, yeah, not pretty when shit's going haywire. That's it for the weather, now let's move on to night-walks (I do have a list of some topics to cover to make up for the lack of content these past few days). Night-walks, the reason I am so intrigued by them is that, although they are just normal walks, seeing the world in a different light (literally), basically, let's me see it in a different light. The library I pass by, it looks, different at night. The artificial lights make things pop out more. The silence of not really any cars passing by, or, whatever. It's just different, it's not your usual walk in the day, and so, gives a new perspective of the world than the normal one.
There's also the sense of freedom and independence when I do 'em. Only because, I'm not really allowed to go out of the house at night, err, by myself at least. Or, without 'em knowing, aaand, by doing so, I'm, I'm basically being myself, I get to be myself, like "I wanna take a walk at night," and so I do say, and feel in control.
And now I wanna get into a little bit more of touchy topic, one that, we've kinda, I've kinda, talked about a lot before. Ya'll already know what, but I ain't going into specifics of it. I'm talking, about the generality of it all, in one big picture. And that's, the act of moving on. "But Drew, haven't you been on the trek of moving on for weeks now?" I have, and do I find myself dwelling sometimes? Not gonna lie, I do. When I'm, when I'm doing nothing in class, I think, and, there are some thoughts, some dreams, fantasies, that play out in my mind that, well, things would go my way. However, things are not, heh, will most likely not, umm, the thought of the chance though, the 0.0001% plausibility, is still there.
I took upon myself to read up on other people's problems, problems, similar to mine, and I end up finding some that are, essentially identical to my past situation, even down to the age. If, you ever end up in situation like I was in, here is a couple of testimonials of identical situations that others have been in. Umm, I do not know 'em, it's, all from Reddit to be completely honest.
One post was titled "Is it bad to tell a girl you're sad/depressed about her not being with you?" and the all the replies were essentially the same: YES. Some of the replies that caught my attention were:
"Yes it's pretty bad. It sounds desperate and needy and it would just seem like you are trying to guilt her and make her pity you. People should want to be with you because they like you and it makes them happy, not because 'it's what you want and you're sad you didn't get your way.'" and
"Move on...just, do yourself a favor and move on. If she hasn't, you'll know." as well as
"Generally, yes. Like 98% of the time, yes. What good is going to come of that? She's not going to pity date you after, and you're only going to make her feel worse, so yes. It is bad." and finally this
"Need more context. Probably a bad idea, especially if you're trying to guilt somebody into being with you. But, if the desire to say it - not because you expect any outcome, but just bottling it up inside - is driving you crazy, might not be a bad idea depending on circumstances."
All of them made sense, and yes, it did make me feel rather bad about myself for being, well, selfish. I really was, trying to get my way, through guilt-tripping and, all of the above. Did I know what I was doing was bad? I can't even recall. I was, blinded by depression, and, uh, well, desperation. I did stuff that little me would not approve of, considering the morals I've built up since those times. And so, I do wanna apologize to that, but it, most likely won't do any good since, the damage has been done. However, for the other party, things are going well, and that's, that's actually good. I've always stood behind my moral of, okay maybe moral ain't the right word for this but, I've always wanted to make others happy, even at the cost of my own happiness. And this time, or rather, in this current time-frame, it's happening, others are happy, and, this time I don't really have to do anything, so, I guess it's a win-win for all parties involved.
One other Reddit post that intrigued me was one titled "2 Should I Go Back To China To Get Back The Girl Of My Dreams?" and the one comment that caught my attention was
"For real I say go for it. Not in the 'Oh this will totally work' or the 'this is a good idea' kind of way, though. More in the no matter what it will really build character, give you a great story, and hurt enough for you to adapt it into a Seth Rogen Rom-Com. But in seriousness go, you regret not knowing shit like this. Good or Bad knowing is better."
Now that one, that one justifies me taking all the risks I can. Just, going all out sometimes. Because in the end, I, basically decide whether it's a bad ending or not. If shit doesn't go my way, hey, I still gain something from it, and uh, gives me something to tell in the future, and, heh, "hurt [me] enough for [me] to adapt it into a [series.]"
Anyways, got some plans with the cast for graduation pictures next week, as well as a game night or an "Escape the Room," game next week or so, and, filming for English tomorrow and Saturday, plus Chinese work due there too. And tomorrow, it's gonna be evaluations for KDT's Fanime performer line-ups. And yes, I still got some practicing to do. It's 12:56 AM. See ya.
Thursday, May 11, 2017
Wednesday, May 10, 2017 "Miss."
Wednesday, May 10, 2017
Week: 40
Songs to Remember: 365 Fresh - Triple H
I apologise for missing yesterday (in this case, this post). Nothing much done though.
In math, we did nothing, for once. And I literally mean nothing, it was, the agenda written on the board was "nap." The rest of the classes, was pretty much the same old, same old.
This'll be the last time I miss a post, the rest of the episodes will come as they usually do. See ya.
Week: 40
Songs to Remember: 365 Fresh - Triple H
I apologise for missing yesterday (in this case, this post). Nothing much done though.
In math, we did nothing, for once. And I literally mean nothing, it was, the agenda written on the board was "nap." The rest of the classes, was pretty much the same old, same old.
This'll be the last time I miss a post, the rest of the episodes will come as they usually do. See ya.
Tuesday, May 9, 2017
Tuesday, May 9, 2017 "Mind Meshing."
Tuesday, May 9, 2017
Week: 40
Songs to Remember: Sad Song - SECHSKIES, 365 Fresh - Triple H
So instead of it being 29 episodes left, it's actually gonna be 24 episodes left now, which is both a good and a bad thing.
The KDT social picnik, etc, thing, has been moved to June 1st, so, just after finals (day of too). And with that, it means graduation day is gonna be the last episode of this series. Now, part of me does want this to end, but there's also a part of me that kinda wants this to continue. It's like, I've done my time, I spent 4 years here already, I just, want to move on. But also, there's still so much I want to do, risks to take, umm, and for the good things, that means it'll be the end to, some of those good things, and that's, that's what I wouldn't want this to end for, it's for the good things.
I want it to end so I can end all the bad things, but I want it to keep going so I can prolong the good things. But overall, it's, it's all gonna end in the end, both the good and the bad. That's pretty much how I feel about all of this.
This morning was not a really relaxing morning considering I had to get up earlier than usual, and uh, get to school earlier than usual, just so I can sit for 4 hours and take a math test. Unfortunately for me, I did pretty shit on it, considering I skipped 3 or 4 out of the 6 free-response questions, but fortunately, they were pretty hard, judging that it was also included on the BC AP exam as well. I did, however, get a lot of time to think, both good and bad thoughts, with the spare time I had.
$90 for time to think, not a bad deal. I did not want to spend another 2 hours at school, just, sitting in 5th period and then forced to do nothing, but at the same time, pay attention in Chinese, so, I just went home. Went for In-n-Out, didn't really take a nap, recorded a video-tutorial on how I make my mixes for future people who want to help out in KDT and make mixes, and uh, yeah. A whole, 3 hours of footage, will have to condense into 2 hours or so.
I got, I got work due, dances to dance and learn, all due next week or this Friday, or, some time this month. I got a lot of deadlines to meet actually, both recreational and academic. Combine all that with my ways of thinking currently, it's not meshing well. Not really meshing well.
As an update on KDT things, uhh, yeah so the last social day celebration has been moved to, June 1st, after school, and, there's now sign-ups for performances, where we'll have our own little showcase, and, sub-groups performing, and uh, me, being the surprise MC, heh. So that's gonna be fun. I, I will have to write, a lot, for the MC stuff, as well as speeches for, my peers and myself. A lot, a lot of writing, but it will be, meaningful, very meaningful. Also dances, yeah dances.
And yeah, things in general are meshing but some things of it all just aren't meshing well. It's 11:29 PM, see ya.
Week: 40
Songs to Remember: Sad Song - SECHSKIES, 365 Fresh - Triple H
So instead of it being 29 episodes left, it's actually gonna be 24 episodes left now, which is both a good and a bad thing.
The KDT social picnik, etc, thing, has been moved to June 1st, so, just after finals (day of too). And with that, it means graduation day is gonna be the last episode of this series. Now, part of me does want this to end, but there's also a part of me that kinda wants this to continue. It's like, I've done my time, I spent 4 years here already, I just, want to move on. But also, there's still so much I want to do, risks to take, umm, and for the good things, that means it'll be the end to, some of those good things, and that's, that's what I wouldn't want this to end for, it's for the good things.
I want it to end so I can end all the bad things, but I want it to keep going so I can prolong the good things. But overall, it's, it's all gonna end in the end, both the good and the bad. That's pretty much how I feel about all of this.
This morning was not a really relaxing morning considering I had to get up earlier than usual, and uh, get to school earlier than usual, just so I can sit for 4 hours and take a math test. Unfortunately for me, I did pretty shit on it, considering I skipped 3 or 4 out of the 6 free-response questions, but fortunately, they were pretty hard, judging that it was also included on the BC AP exam as well. I did, however, get a lot of time to think, both good and bad thoughts, with the spare time I had.
$90 for time to think, not a bad deal. I did not want to spend another 2 hours at school, just, sitting in 5th period and then forced to do nothing, but at the same time, pay attention in Chinese, so, I just went home. Went for In-n-Out, didn't really take a nap, recorded a video-tutorial on how I make my mixes for future people who want to help out in KDT and make mixes, and uh, yeah. A whole, 3 hours of footage, will have to condense into 2 hours or so.
I got, I got work due, dances to dance and learn, all due next week or this Friday, or, some time this month. I got a lot of deadlines to meet actually, both recreational and academic. Combine all that with my ways of thinking currently, it's not meshing well. Not really meshing well.
As an update on KDT things, uhh, yeah so the last social day celebration has been moved to, June 1st, after school, and, there's now sign-ups for performances, where we'll have our own little showcase, and, sub-groups performing, and uh, me, being the surprise MC, heh. So that's gonna be fun. I, I will have to write, a lot, for the MC stuff, as well as speeches for, my peers and myself. A lot, a lot of writing, but it will be, meaningful, very meaningful. Also dances, yeah dances.
And yeah, things in general are meshing but some things of it all just aren't meshing well. It's 11:29 PM, see ya.
Monday, May 8, 2017 "Just Tired, of All This Bullshit."
Monday, May 9, 2017
Week: 40
Songs to Remember: Caroline - Amine, Sad Song - Sechskies,
I just want to apologize for a lack of content today. I didn't even do all that much, didn't even really dance at all during practice (mostly 'cause I didn't like the song, and was not planning to do it for Fanime anyways), but I ended up being extremely tired.
I took an hour nap today as well. I was also planning on recording a tutorial but I guess that'll be for tomorrow or something. After dinner I was just out of it. Just laying in, taking mini-naps 'cause I was hoping I'd get un-tired, but nope, I was, I am, still tired. Maybe it's my body trying to reset my shitty sleep cycle, maybe it's 'cause I developed a cold or something (probably from the night-walk).
Anyways, tomorrow there's the Calc AB AP exam. I, really don't give a fuck about it, even more so because I'm so tired and I gotta get to school before 7:30 AM. Fuck sakes. I'll most likely go home right after the test because fuck it, I am not staying for 2 more periods of nothingness. And so, see ya. And again, sorry for lack of content, I'll hopefully have the energy to talk about shit tomorrow.
Monday, May 8, 2017
Sunday, May 7, 2017 "Cheesecake."
Sunday, May 7, 2017
Week: 39
Songs to Remember: Caroline - Amine, 365 Fresh - Triple H
Now I was gonna talk about night walks and the like, but I am very tired from, well, a night walk or, night craving shopping actually.
I will, however, talk more, tomorrow. So until then, see ya.
Saturday, May 6, 2017
Saturday, May 6, 2017 "Driving Under."
Saturday, May 6, 2017
Week: 39
Songs to Remember: Caroline - Amine, 365 Fresh - Triple H
Well Drew, you're growing up. Figuratively, and literally. It's been like 5 months since you've turned 18.
Can you believe that, you're almost half-way to 19 already, which is, crazy, considering how being 18 feels so, recent. You're striving for independence, individuality, doing things on your own, being free, and that's good. Although, if you are offered, you should usually accept it.
Today, after waking up at 8:00 AM for KDT practice on a Saturday (which went not too shabby), I ended up driving Ln, Jd, and Rh around for food, and then to Rh's house to, mess with his piano and watch some memes (not even kidding). It did feel good, to drive around, like "Hell yeah, I'm driving my friends around, we're doing shit, I'm, there's nothing really holding me back from having a fun time with people I love."
I did enjoy every minute of it. Every second, actually. And it is rather sad that, you know, I can't continue this forever. I mean I can, extend it by a little, for maybe the beginning of my new journey after all this but, I'ma have to, leave most of this all behind and start a new. Like, people will be separated, either that, they're traveling somewhere else, settling somewhere else for college, or for under-classmen, staying behind in High school. And, I won't be able to see most of them as often, or maybe even at all anymore, heh.
All this progress you've made, all these connections you've made with all these people, and you gotta just, toss it all aside. Just, erase it all. The only good thing I can think about that all is that, college and later years will be better memories to replace 'em all, and that, all of this right now is to just help you, prepare. Help you, stay sane, help you get through these really awkward years of transitioning to, a realer world. That's probably the best analogy I can make of it. Right now, I'm just in a world. And it seems real, but once I see through, get through, the barrier of, being required to reside within a set parameter of a social setting for 8 hours a day, straight, for 5 days a week, I'll see that it's just like, a simulation. It's all set up for now.
Then once I get through that, I'll see, be, in a real world, where you gotta take matters in your own hands. The decisions you make will be more, impactful, yeah. And no, I don't actually have a clue of what real college life is or will be like, but hopefully it's close to what I'm describing, heh. If not, which I'm sure it is not, I'll be in for quite a surprise. I, I really do think so. Now that'll all be, unscripted. Right now everything's, scripted. It's pretty much written out for me, but college, that's a mystery. That's, that's all on me, there is no script, I gotta, I gotta improv, all of that.
Now, I wanna talk about the end of the series, which is coming soon. I feel like I gotta make these last 29 posts, these last 29 episodes, be meaningful. Or, I gotta say what I want to say because I won't be allowed to keep on making more of these posts, heh. I gotta say what I'm thinking, feeling, right now. I can't keep this up forever, so. Yeah there is uh, there's only 29 episodes left, 29 posts left of for this series, this project, including the last day, which will be on June 4th, a Sunday, of which the series will end with me spending time with KDT on our last day, our bonding day.
And yeah, the end post, the last episode, will probably consist of me telling what happened that day, and then, I guess maybe a whole reflection of this whole thing, starting from the beginning to the end. Then uh, talking about the people I've met, those who made an impact on me, etc. Then there's gonna be, a reflection on school, the 4 years, uh, advice/ wisdom, and then final thoughts. And then, some, some contact info for people who want to know more, or need my help.
There's still so much that I want to do within this series. I know that some of the things can wait 'till the college years, but, just something about doing stuff in the moment seems fulfilling. And you're only gonna be in High school, once, in your life. Most likely not something you'll remember forever, but it's, it gives you a something to remember, short-term. It's all, in the present, right now.
I think I'll save more of this for later posts, and uh, also the last one. Right now it's 11:55 PM and I'd like some of my sleep back, heh. See ya.
Week: 39
Songs to Remember: Caroline - Amine, 365 Fresh - Triple H
Well Drew, you're growing up. Figuratively, and literally. It's been like 5 months since you've turned 18.
Can you believe that, you're almost half-way to 19 already, which is, crazy, considering how being 18 feels so, recent. You're striving for independence, individuality, doing things on your own, being free, and that's good. Although, if you are offered, you should usually accept it.
Today, after waking up at 8:00 AM for KDT practice on a Saturday (which went not too shabby), I ended up driving Ln, Jd, and Rh around for food, and then to Rh's house to, mess with his piano and watch some memes (not even kidding). It did feel good, to drive around, like "Hell yeah, I'm driving my friends around, we're doing shit, I'm, there's nothing really holding me back from having a fun time with people I love."
I did enjoy every minute of it. Every second, actually. And it is rather sad that, you know, I can't continue this forever. I mean I can, extend it by a little, for maybe the beginning of my new journey after all this but, I'ma have to, leave most of this all behind and start a new. Like, people will be separated, either that, they're traveling somewhere else, settling somewhere else for college, or for under-classmen, staying behind in High school. And, I won't be able to see most of them as often, or maybe even at all anymore, heh.
All this progress you've made, all these connections you've made with all these people, and you gotta just, toss it all aside. Just, erase it all. The only good thing I can think about that all is that, college and later years will be better memories to replace 'em all, and that, all of this right now is to just help you, prepare. Help you, stay sane, help you get through these really awkward years of transitioning to, a realer world. That's probably the best analogy I can make of it. Right now, I'm just in a world. And it seems real, but once I see through, get through, the barrier of, being required to reside within a set parameter of a social setting for 8 hours a day, straight, for 5 days a week, I'll see that it's just like, a simulation. It's all set up for now.
Then once I get through that, I'll see, be, in a real world, where you gotta take matters in your own hands. The decisions you make will be more, impactful, yeah. And no, I don't actually have a clue of what real college life is or will be like, but hopefully it's close to what I'm describing, heh. If not, which I'm sure it is not, I'll be in for quite a surprise. I, I really do think so. Now that'll all be, unscripted. Right now everything's, scripted. It's pretty much written out for me, but college, that's a mystery. That's, that's all on me, there is no script, I gotta, I gotta improv, all of that.
Now, I wanna talk about the end of the series, which is coming soon. I feel like I gotta make these last 29 posts, these last 29 episodes, be meaningful. Or, I gotta say what I want to say because I won't be allowed to keep on making more of these posts, heh. I gotta say what I'm thinking, feeling, right now. I can't keep this up forever, so. Yeah there is uh, there's only 29 episodes left, 29 posts left of for this series, this project, including the last day, which will be on June 4th, a Sunday, of which the series will end with me spending time with KDT on our last day, our bonding day.
And yeah, the end post, the last episode, will probably consist of me telling what happened that day, and then, I guess maybe a whole reflection of this whole thing, starting from the beginning to the end. Then uh, talking about the people I've met, those who made an impact on me, etc. Then there's gonna be, a reflection on school, the 4 years, uh, advice/ wisdom, and then final thoughts. And then, some, some contact info for people who want to know more, or need my help.
There's still so much that I want to do within this series. I know that some of the things can wait 'till the college years, but, just something about doing stuff in the moment seems fulfilling. And you're only gonna be in High school, once, in your life. Most likely not something you'll remember forever, but it's, it gives you a something to remember, short-term. It's all, in the present, right now.
I think I'll save more of this for later posts, and uh, also the last one. Right now it's 11:55 PM and I'd like some of my sleep back, heh. See ya.
Friday, May 5, 2017
Friday, May 5, 2017 "Dance Thing."
Friday, May 5, 2017
Week: 39
Songs to Remember: Caroline - Amine
Luckily for me, today was a less intensive day than other days. Woke up at 11:00 AM, filmed some stuff with my group members for English at a nearby park, and then watched a bootleg (not that bootleg but, just not my cup of tea) dance performance show at another High school.
That was 2 and a half hours actually. Started at 7:30 PM, ended at 10:00 PM. Jh asked if any of the cast was down to go to a party downtown. He ended up not going though and so, I ended up not going, even though I was up for it. I guess maybe these parties will have to wait until college.
It's 11:33 PM, I gotta go to KDT practice at the library, at 8:30 AM tomorrow. Why do I gotta have my sleep time be robbed, I don't know. Anyways, see ya.
Thursday, May 4, 2017
Thursday, May 4, 2017 "Fresh Out of Thoughts."
Thursday, May 4, 2017
Week: 39
Songs to Remember: Falling - Snakehips, Caroline - Amine, 365 Fresh - Triple H
What a day. For once my classes were different. I wouldn't say "fun," but different. Was relaxing and boring at the same time.
I was planning on skipping the classes I didn't like, like math or Chinese, and I did. After 1st period Dance (of which consisted of no seniors but me, and all we did was work a little bit on our opening number for the upcoming dance recitals), I asked Jk, DrewN, and Cc if I could stay in their class for 2nd period. Fortunately Cc was okay with that, and so was DrewN, and so I went with 'em, and turns out they both have 2nd period Government together.
The teacher was cool with me staying. About 60% of the class was gone, and so the teacher just played episode 1 of Hell's Kitchen Season 5 for us. Was very relaxing, and, I got to meet an old friend of mine from middle school. He was like "Ayy what's up Drew" and it took me a bit for my brain to process "Oh shit, it's my old friend from middle school." So yeah, that was cool. Good times, good times. Good 'ol, even more naive Drew, heh.
Break was break, 3rd period was me finishing up work, English was me doing English work with, 90% of the class missing, as it was senior ditch day. During lunch, Jk told me how there was a quiz today, a pop quiz, that it was 100 points, and that if we weren't here for it, we'd have to bring her a parent's note, as well as a parent's phone number. I was like "Are you, mother-fucking serious? The one day I choose to skip just one class, not even the whole day, just one class, of which I was expecting to be doing the same exact shit as the past 2 weeks, and this shit gets pulled on me."
I was prepared like, I was going to write a fake note, message my cousin and have him be my parent in-case the teacher actually decides to call, and I was going to give him info about me in-case the teacher asks where I was (the dentist), the address, time, etc. Even my birthday, in case she asks for details about me. I was like "Fine, you wanna play this game, let's go." Turns out though, that apparently it was fake. I've heard from others that the teacher didn't mention shit, about senior ditch day, that this was a prank and uh, there was no actual quiz at all.
I was relieved, and sorta upset. But uh, I really was determined to fight this shit out just 'cause the teacher would try to fuck people over for doing a minute High school tradition. Umm, but yeah, 5th period Econ, that was when things got shitty. We did nothing of course, and 80% of the class was gone. Our teacher had something to he had to do, so we had to take refuge in another teacher's classroom for the time being. During the walk to there, this one girl who was in my group last semester in Gov for the final project, she was like, well I'll just copy-and-paste it here since I don't wanna re-write most of it.
So I don't mean to dwell on old things, but this just doesn't make any fucking sense. I haven't talked or interacted at all with you-know-who for like 3 weeks now but today her friend in my class told me "Hey so you know you-know-who right? She wanted me to tell you that if you're planning on talking to her, don't." I'm like "Wtf, why would I want to do that, I haven't even interacted with her at all for like 3 weeks now, I've literally just been doing my own thing." Her friend told me that you-know-who has been thinking that I've been following her to her classes so she's been trying to avoid me, and how she finds that I'm walking behind her, and that I dyed my hair because her guy friend has dyed hair, even the same color. I'm like "First of all, I've been taking the same routes to my classes since the beginning of the fucking year, I don't change it, nor will I, for something as absurd as all this, I dyed my hair not because of him or for her, but for a KDT performance, and the color was pink, not red." And some more reasons why like, it was inspired by yes, MASC's Ace, but I didn't say that 'cause, yeah no, heh. It honestly baffles me how counter-intuitive the way she's been doing and thinking. For the past 3 weeks I've done nothing but just been living my life and she pulls shit like this outta nowhere. Like, what the fuck do you want? What are you trying to accomplish keeping this shit up? And to think I'm the one who needs to move on bruh, ctfo.
Yeah, I, I was pissed, my mind was like "What the-, what the fuck?" And I know this may be hypocrital on my part too, with how I thought about it all before. But like, it was what? 2 weeks tops on dwelling hard? The past 3 weeks I, I have done nothing but for myself, minding my own fucking business, and she still wants to play the victim card. Like, THIS SHIT'S GETTING OLD YA KNOW. What the fuck is following her to her classes going to do if I were to anyways? What? "If you're planning on talking to me, don't." Just, you know the Confused Nick Young face? That's what it is. "Oh yeah, I've definitely been planning this 3-week, hard-cover, video-cassette with behind the scenes footage of me reading my third novel to complete the trilogy, on shit I want to talk to her about."
I know, I even said that I wasn't going to talk about her anymore, and in this case, it doesn't count. It's not my own thoughts really, but because it was brought up, and pissed me off. I think anger, I, I'd rather be angry than sad because, at least with anger, I don't have a bottomless pit in my chest and stomach, I don't have the feeling of that. Plus it fuels me to think with my head, and further proving that I am in the right.
Anyways, 6th period was the usual bore, I chose to go because I needed an alibi for the math thing that turned out to be just a big prank. Uhh, and KDT practice afterschool was pretty good. It was CLC's "Hobgoblin" and in my opinion I think I did it rather well, well, better than I expected. One of the easier dances out of the ones we're doing for Fanime.
Tomorrow I gotta go film for our English project, a modern-rendition of Othello, uhhh, go to another High school to watch some dancing, and, finish up some digital projects. It's 11:55 PM, see ya.
Wednesday, May 3, 2017
Wednesday, May 3, 2017 "Beginning May."
Wednesday, May 3, 2017
Week: 39
Songs to Remember: 365 Fresh - Triple H, Caroline - Amine
Yes I'd really like some sleep because the past few days have been nothing but 2:00 AM, 3:00 AM sleeps, and that's not good.
For classes like English, the sleep deprivation really does show. Umm, yeah, nothing much going on, nothing much to worry about as for classes besides Dance. There's A LOT of planning and shit for the later days of May, specifically the 23rd and 24th, 'cause that's when the dance recitals are going to be. Yep, recitcal(s), meaning it'll be 3 full performance runs within 2 days. Fortunately I don't have to worry about shit since it's the later days of May, and uh, thinks are pretty much wrapped up at that point.
The things we're looking forward to: some KDT practices, uhhh, Fanime, Cinco de Mayo weekend, some, hangouts over the weekend maybe. Hopefully. 'Cause everybody's either doing something, or nothing. I know, sounds really weird but, they're either staying home, or, going out with their own social circle groups. And like, tomorrow, which is senior ditch day, umm, the cast is basically not doing it.
Ek and Lw have AP exams, Jk's just not doing it, Cc's not doing it, just, like, what am I supposed to with ditching by myself? Now you could say that it's, whatever, ya know. Even, even my teachers are okay with it. And what would happen if I go to class? Absolutely, nothing. I know for a fact that my 5th period is going to be empty besides for a few people, probably including me, and my English class too.
And yeah, also KDT practice after school tomorrow too. I, just an update on things: my mental health has stabilized, yeah. I still have the occasional fantasies, dreams, flashbacks, but they aren't like, 24/7 as before. I'd say it's more like, once to twice a day, which is really good. It really feels like it's been a long time since my coming-of-age challenge. And again, if somebody wants to me to tell them the story, I will. Because it's a great story, a great story of me maturing so much in such a short amount of time. Also a lot of wisdom and whatnot to learn from it.
Alright, enough of thinking about it too much or else I'll spend a bit too much time dwelling. Very short dwelling compared to the old dwelling, but still dwelling nonetheless. It's 11:39 PM, I need that sleep, it was hot yesterday, today, and will be tomorrow (83 degrees Fahrenheit). Today's highest was 90, and it's only the start of May. Anyways, see ya.
Week: 39
Songs to Remember: 365 Fresh - Triple H, Caroline - Amine
Yes I'd really like some sleep because the past few days have been nothing but 2:00 AM, 3:00 AM sleeps, and that's not good.
For classes like English, the sleep deprivation really does show. Umm, yeah, nothing much going on, nothing much to worry about as for classes besides Dance. There's A LOT of planning and shit for the later days of May, specifically the 23rd and 24th, 'cause that's when the dance recitals are going to be. Yep, recitcal(s), meaning it'll be 3 full performance runs within 2 days. Fortunately I don't have to worry about shit since it's the later days of May, and uh, thinks are pretty much wrapped up at that point.
The things we're looking forward to: some KDT practices, uhhh, Fanime, Cinco de Mayo weekend, some, hangouts over the weekend maybe. Hopefully. 'Cause everybody's either doing something, or nothing. I know, sounds really weird but, they're either staying home, or, going out with their own social circle groups. And like, tomorrow, which is senior ditch day, umm, the cast is basically not doing it.
Ek and Lw have AP exams, Jk's just not doing it, Cc's not doing it, just, like, what am I supposed to with ditching by myself? Now you could say that it's, whatever, ya know. Even, even my teachers are okay with it. And what would happen if I go to class? Absolutely, nothing. I know for a fact that my 5th period is going to be empty besides for a few people, probably including me, and my English class too.
And yeah, also KDT practice after school tomorrow too. I, just an update on things: my mental health has stabilized, yeah. I still have the occasional fantasies, dreams, flashbacks, but they aren't like, 24/7 as before. I'd say it's more like, once to twice a day, which is really good. It really feels like it's been a long time since my coming-of-age challenge. And again, if somebody wants to me to tell them the story, I will. Because it's a great story, a great story of me maturing so much in such a short amount of time. Also a lot of wisdom and whatnot to learn from it.
Alright, enough of thinking about it too much or else I'll spend a bit too much time dwelling. Very short dwelling compared to the old dwelling, but still dwelling nonetheless. It's 11:39 PM, I need that sleep, it was hot yesterday, today, and will be tomorrow (83 degrees Fahrenheit). Today's highest was 90, and it's only the start of May. Anyways, see ya.
Tuesday, May 2, 2017
Tuesday, May 2, 2017 "Senior."
Tuesday, May 2, 2017
Week: 39
Songs to Remember: 365 Fresh - Triple H (트리플 H)
There's only about 20 days left of school, 20 school days that is. Senioritis is real, and uh, I have been hit by it hard, a looong time ago.
Now what is senioritis? It's when you realize that there's no point in putting anymore (extra) effort into your classes after already crossing the threshold of being accepted into the college you want. Or just, knowing for a fact that you cannot fail your classes no matter what happens.
I think it set in the hardest after I finished taking the AP Calc final. Knowing that I can't possibly fail, and that, I'm already accepted into the college that I intent to go to, there's no real reason to put in anymore effort. Because like, you end up with the same result. Finished with a C in English? Still accepted into your college. Finished with an A in English? Same result.
Speaking of senior shit, Thursday is apparently scheduled to be "senior ditch day" for our school. Now I do want to do it, just for the experience of it. I, it's it's a high school staple. The only thing holding me back is that there's like, none of my friends are doing it, or so I think. So then I'd just, be somewhere else then for the day. I don't know, we'll see. Friday, that's Cinco De Mayo day, and so, that'll give me some much needed sleep, because these past few days, I really am lacking in it. Extremely. Whilst studying for the vocab quiz in Econ (during Econ), I really was falling asleep. Like, looking down at my phone, listening to music, my head droops down and it wakes me back up.
I'll also be spending some Friday time and or Saturday time with my group in English to film our Othello scenes. Hopefully things go smoothly so we won't have to spend too too much time on it. Oh yeah, speaking of time, we had to show our dances today in Dance. Our teacher finally came back, she came back yesterday, from maternal leave, and uh, yeah, I think she really liked my dance compared to others... only 'cause I had a real ending to mine's, heh.
I still gotta make sure everybody remembers the moves though, as well as formations. The dance recital is on the 22nd and 23rd of this month I think. The teacher's gonna try to give us some extra time to work on our dances, plus she also has to teach us a dance for the opening number. Ehhhhhhh. Just, a lot of stuff. Umm, rest of my classes are kinda whatever at this point. Nothing really interesting, and that's me being honest, heh. It is the same, the same, same, same, same, same thing every day.
One of the reasons, why I don't wanna go home after KDT practices, or just wanna hang out and whatever. Staying home, having sat in this exact spot of where I am right now, for the longest of times, things do get bland. And I'm not even joking, when I say things are the same, or the usual, for my classes. Classes have been THE most boring this year. Outside activities though, these were the best. It's crazy to think how I used to love staying home, to now, just even wanting to go on walks to get out of the house.
It's 10:08 PM, I got some touching up to do, with my hair, and uh, yeah, see ya.
Monday, May 1, 2017
Monday, May 1, 2017 "World Tour: Key Club."
Monday, May 1, 2017
Week: 39
Songs to Remember: Strange - MASC, Moves Like Raindrops - kmlkmljkl, I Got the Feeling - BIGSTAR,
The VSA show, that was not the last show here at school. It wasn't the last show here, it wasn't the last time I would be in the color-guard room, it wasn't the last time that I'd be performing on that stage. The Key Club Performance show was, and I am glad that that was my last show here )on school campus), because the people I spent it with, I couldn't ask for better friends.
I set my alarm for, whatever time, yesterday, and uh, I slept through it, or, snoozed through it without thinking, because I woke up at 8:30 AM, and I was supposed to show up at the theater at 8:00 AM. Fortunately, nobody cared, because nobody was doing shit at that time. There was not very many people there. For KDT members, there were only about 10 or so. I spent the morning just relaxing in a seat next to Cc and Tm.
I think the schedule was like, stage time for other people, a run-through, and then lunch break until 1:00 PM. There were several trips, err, two to be exact, of us going to this plaza that's located about 15 minutes from the school (by walking speed). There were about 5 milk tea places there, all in that plaza. It was Tm, Cc, Ji (Junior, hangs out with Ehv, and is the sister of former KDT member Ms), and me for the first trip. And of course, a lot of laughs were had, I loved every minute of it.
We headed back by 1:00 PM, and uh, the KDT "prom" thing, was not what I imagined, heh. It was kinda ehhh, it was played outside, only about 10 members were there out of about maybe 15 or 20 who were performing in the show in general. So, I kinda stayed up a bit too late (4:00 AM) to practice, for nothing. But hey, at least I know the dances to some of my favorite/classic songs now. Uhhh, we had some stage time after 1:30 PM or so, and then, another run-throughs so we had to stay backstage/be in the theater (we were 2nd to last act). After all that, it was another lunch time, before the doors open and people come in.
This time however, due to some inconvenient timing, Tm and Ji weren't able to go on a lunch trip again with me and Cc. Instead, Yc joined us. You know, the dude whom Ad and I were with during the very 1st few KDT practices in my sophomore year, as well as for the 1st few ones in my Junior year. Man, those were the days. It was him, Cc, and me, we all walked back to that plaza to get food, well, for Yc to get food, we had already ate. And yeah we were kinda tired, but it really was better than just sitting and waiting. And besides, other people disappeared to get food as well or whatever, so, not really much people to interact with in the theater, heh. Everybody was kinda busy with their own thing.
On the walk to the plaza, Yc was curious and asked me if I could clarify the situation to him, the, you know, my recent situation. And of course, I told him. I think of it all as a story now. You know, a story, in a book. Just a story. A personal experience to share, that, hey, ain't gonna lie, would make a for a great movie, heh, or coming-of-age mini-series. And uh, yeah, I told the story on the way there, Yc asked me and Cc some rhetorical questions. Well, we asked if he had any questions, and, those were it. Not the questions we were expecting, heh, but uh, luckily for him, me and Cc are comfortable with a lot of things, so.
And it wasn't uncomfortable, all that talking. It added flavor to everything. Especially with the running joke between me and Cc, about Joey's World Tour, and uh, the struggles that are caused by Snapchat venting. heh. All in good fun, of course.
Which reminds me, the show had a lot of crazy, crazy shit happen, heh. Definitely memorable. For starters, KDT's sub-unit "LMBR" got their comeback, and uh, KDT's newest sub-unit "ACE" (consisting of sophomores and juniors) debut'd as well. There was a portion when things got kinda bootleg, and that was towards the end of the show. There was a part where the MC's had to kill time, and so they had people come up and try to tell the saddest story. Well, one person, Atr's friend, sophomore, very supportive of KDT, very enthusiastic and not afraid to speak her mind, uhh, told a story that was a bit too personal about her life.
Sad, yes, but uh, to an audience of people who want to laugh or be wow'd positively, uhhh, not, not the best. And don't get me started on the section where this dude performed a stand-up comedy act, as well as the dance battle time-killer cut, with Atr's friend dancing. That uh, that is gonna make me remember last night even more, heh, for the better.
And yeah, I totally loved the whole day. Was I tired? Yeah, I, I got like 15 hours of sleep between 3 days, which, really could've been better. I could not ask for a better final on-school-campus performance. Couldn't ask for better friends who stick with me and allow me to enjoy these experiences with them.
As for today, I was sleepy, as expected.There was KDT practice for Jay Park's "All I Wanna Do," which was alright. I gotta rush to finish my dance for Dance, work, deadlines, mostly just dance, but yeah, it's 9:50 PM, and I am tired. See ya.
Sunday, April 30, 2917 "Give Me Rest."
Sunday, April 30, 2917
Week: 38
Week: 38
Songs to Remember:
I am too tired fro a post. Way too tired. See ya.
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