Saturday, June 3, 2017
Week: 43
Songs to Remember: Happy - 2NE1, Plz Don't Be Sad - HIGHLIGHT, Press Your Number - Taemin, Dollar (달라) - HOBBY, Strange - MASC, Hit Me (전화해) - MOBB, 365 Fresh - Triple H, Egg - The Garden, Danza Kuduro - Don Omar, Movie - BTOB, Limitless - NCT 127, Body - MINO, Only You (너 하나면 돼) - 24K (투포케이), Tina (티나) - MASC, FXXK IT - BIG BANG, MAESTRO - CHANGMO (창모), WITHOUT U (니가 없는데) - Romeo (로미오), The Eye - Infinite, Oh NaNa - K.A.R.D, Caroline - Aminé, BeBe - Seo In Guk (서인국), BERMUDA TRIANGLE - ZICO, Moves Like Raindrops - kmlkmljkl, Dancing King - EXO Yu Jae Suk (유재석), iSpy - KYLE, The Best Present - Rain, All I Wanna Do - Jay Park, I'll Wait (겨울이 간다) - DAY6, 679 - Fetty Whap, Reason (feat. 리차드파커스) (헤어져야 하는 이유) [SPACECOWBOY deep future remix] - SPACECOWBOY (스페이스카우보이), Because of You (NU'EST Cover) - Nu'est, Love Paint - Nu'est, Monster - EXO, Better When I'm Dancing - Meghan Trainor, Love Affair - NIEL, Already - Taemin, Sweet Heart (오빠야) - SEENROOT (신현희와김루트), Slide - Calvin Harris, Know Me - DPR LIVE, PICK ME 2 (나야 나) - PRODUCE 101, Easy Love (쉽다) - SF9, ROCK N HIPHOP (빨리 뛰어) - BTOB, SKIT (CHEEZE사리추가VER) - Giriboy (기리보이), Sorry - Zion T., Issues - Julia Michaels, Redbone - Childish Gambino, Falling - Snakehips, 2 Beer (맥주 두 잔) - Kisum (키썸), Just a Picture - KYLE, Strip (Remix/Slow Version) - Chis Brown, All In My Head (Flex) - Fifth Harmony, Obsession - Boyfriend, TT - TWICE
So, after 4 years, it's finally over. 4 years of trying not to be on with others when you shouldn't be, 4 years of having the chances of everything you do to turn out bad, 4 years of spending days in a bubble, 4 years of refining down the people who you really do care about.
I'd say it didn't go by as quick as other people say. There were countless nights and days where things were stretched out and it seemed like things were never ending. I say "things" because there were a lot of events, people, times, that should just be described as "things," 'cause it really is hard to narrow down everything over the course of 4 years. This year, however, this series, this was the one that went by fast. Because I can recall all the crazy and insane events I did with my friends in the beginning of the year, how relaxing things felt, jumping to the beginning of 2017 and those days were close to almost over, KDT performances, shit happening, and jumping now to here.
And it's like "I did all those things... just this series? Just this year?" You can go back and see for yourself, from the beginning, of Precisely Refined, and see just how much I've done in this series compared to the other three combined. I am proud of that, I really am. Sure, I didn't really cure cancer or anything like that but, for me, going from not being a part of any clubs, not really being anybody, to having people look up to me for inspiration, to being known as a person from KDT, to being somebody whose younger version would be proud of, I'm proud of, how far I've gotten.
Before I get any further into this, I'll just recap yesterday's graduation. Didn't really get much sleep yesterday, I had to be at school by 9:00 AM, which really isn't any different from the usual start time of 8:00 AM school-days. Arrived late due to no parking but that didn't matter. Got into my teacher's classroom, my English teacher, who I chose to read my name for graduation. We all went out to the softball field for the graduation rehearsal. You basically had to stand in lines, based on who you picked to read your name, you stand, head out onto the field, stand inches from the chairs you're supposed to sit on, do the pledge of allegiance, sit, stand up again, sit, listen to some singing and bootleg rapping, listen to some speeches, and then walk up to the stage for the handshake and diploma handing (the last part wasn't done to save time). I sat in middle section, it was like a semi-circle, with the stage being in the center of the median line, I was in the middle of it.
And like, the people who chose my teacher to read their names, I knew, nobody in the class. Well like, I knew 'em, but they're not people who'd I want to associate myself with, aaand are more or so hoodlums. Not everybody in there, but about... 99% were. Had I connected that, the people who chose the same teacher to read their names would be in the same seats and group as them for graduation, I most likely would've chose a different teacher. But it was alright, you know, the only person I really liked out of the group of hoodlums I was with, was my teacher, heh. Over the year he was, pretty cool, and so, I didn't mind him reading my name for graduation.
And then you go home, to come back again in about 2 hours to get your diploma, and then 2 more hours because that's the time you gotta be back for graduation. So after rehearsal was over, which was around 12:00 PM in the hot sun, I got a call from Ag to go to like, Wal-Mart to get some Lei's. And of course they don't have lei's, so, we left and went to In 'n' Out for food before we headed back to the school to pick up our diplomas. If you didn't know, the diploma frame-holder that gets handed to you at graduation doesn't actually contain the diploma paper in it. It's just an empty holder, and so you'd have to get your actual diploma at a different time, for us it was earlier. So technically, you could just not attend graduation. You, wouldn't have the cool holder-thingy, but you have the official paper that certifies that you graduated High school so.
I dropped her off at her place, I headed home to take some power naps. You see, my strategy for fully enjoying naps is to set an alarm to ring every 5 minutes or so, so that I can sleep without worrying about over-sleeping. And, I get to enjoy the sensation of going BACK to sleep. I know I'm not the only person in the world that does this, okay. But yeah, I wanted to take some naps, I closed my eyes, uh, didn't really get to sleep any, because by the time I was getting sleepy, it was time to shower and get ready and dressed to go back to the school. I also had to pick up Ag, give Jd a ticket to go see the graduation, give Nk (a KDT freshman) a ticket and a ride to the school, and unexpectedly but good timing, Ln and Rh a ride to school.
We got back just in time to for some breathing room. Ag, Ek, Lw were in their respective rooms, everybody was in their respective rooms, I was in my teacher's room, watching people act like it's a Chuck E. Cheese's up in there. People were taking pictures, etc, I, was not really feeling anything. Not really any sadness, and I still don't. The only sadness I've felt these past couple weeks were the stress-release times at night, with me thinking about how some of the people I care about are going away, or when I was reading the letters that KDT members specifically wrote for me. And it's been only two instances.
So yeah, in normal circumstances now, I just can't cry. I couldn't even cry during the KDT speeches, and I really wanted to show emotion. But I guess that'll be for another time. Anyways, it was time for graduation, they ask you to show 'em what's in your pockets before you enter the field 'cause apparently they're strict on phones. I, I put mine's in my shoe and got past. They, they really didn't seem to care this time though I guess, 'cause I saw people with their phones out like, 20 feet away from the inspectors. We're all waiting at the softball field, everybody, every parent, friend, they're all in sitting in the bleachers. Still, I wasn't feeling it. Maybe had I had some people that I knew to talk to during the whole thing, besides my teacher of course, but that's all very minute now.
It was time to start walking to the field, the football field, and, do all the things listed above. And yes, it was very boring, heh, I, I do not know, how I was able to sit there for all of that. I could, visually see the sun setting. That's how long it was. Now, there were some parts where I was like "Oh, so that happened." Remember the dude whom I let put his name on my project for math? Before then, he was like "If I don't do this project, I'ma fail and I won't be able to graduate." Well, during graduation rehearsal today, he was like "Hey, this is the last time you're gonna see me. Thanks for letting me put my name on the project, and sorry I didn't do anything." I was like "It's whatever fam." Well, during graduation, he walked on stage (I didn't recognize him until I saw his fidget spinner in his hand), crouched down and did a "praise the sun" pose, hugged the principal, got his diploma, shook hands with a member of the schoolboard, walked off stage, didn't stand for any pictures, and skipped off, with a fidget spinner in his hand.
I was like "Oh my. I caused this, I indirectly caused this." That was uh, yeah, heh. The fidget spinner really, topped it off though. But anyways, yeah, after a while, it was finally my turn to walk up on that stage. My name was called, I uh, I did my pose thingy, my signature pose, one last time, whilst walking up the stage. I shake the principals hand whilst holding onto my new diploma (holder) and looking into the camera, start exiting only to find out I forgot my diploma, the principal hands it to me again, I shake hands with the school-board member, I walk off, they take one last picture of me, and that's it. I walk back to my seat to, to wait for more names to be called and for it to be over.
What really sucked when it was all over, was that we didn't have a "1, 2, 3" to throw our caps into the air. Nah, instead we had a "on the count 3, turn your tassels from the right side of your cap, to the left." AW YUH, very exciting am I right, heh. And it was over, and now it was time to take some pictures. I took the phone out of my shoe (which was where I hid it but ending up being very unnecessary), and saw that I got a couple of texts, one of which was from my parents. I was like "Ho shit" and looked to see that my mom said that she and my dad were going home 'cause it was getting too cold, heh.
You might say "What the, what kind of parents do you have, not staying for their child's graduation?" Hey, my family's different from others. Staying for their son or daughter's graduation, I'd say it's more of an American thing. My parents never graduated (or at least I don't think) they graduated from High school, and this was back in Vietnam, in the 1970's into the 80's. I'd honestly be tired as fuck, if I was 50 or 60, had to sit in the hot sun for an hour and a half, and then bare the cold winds for another hour and a half. A diploma is more than enough to suffice for them, so, that's all that matters.
I took pictures with many people, A LOT of people, actually. I took pictures with those who'd you'd already expect by now, as well as some special guests, like Tu. And, even some surprise guests that I didn't even know had showed up, including Ec and Mc. I was, aw man, I was so surprised and ecstatic that they showed up, I had no idea. I felt bad because I didn't even attend their graduations, hell, I didn't even know Ec's graduation happened until the day OF his graduation (it was about a week and a half ago), and at that time, I was still in school, heh. But damn, I was, that lit up my spirits a whole bunch (it was already lit up from seeing KDT underclass-men showing up but you get what I mean).
Lasted quite a bit, because by the time I left, it was about 10:00 PM, and it was cold, and about 90% of everybody had left already. And nope, still, didn't really feel any sadness, just, tired. The last person I talked to at the school was my English teacher. I forgot that I left my yearbook in his classroom and luckily for me, he was still there, cleaning up and stacking desks. I grabbed my yearbook from his room, said good-byes, and left.
I was expecting to go out to eat with my parents but since they were more than likely to be asleep at that time from sitting and listening to names for 2 and a half hours, and since we (Ag and I) didn't have time to get milk tea, as I had to pick up like, 3 other people, I asked Ag if she was still down to get milk tea or something to eat. It's weird 'cause her parents wanted her home so early from graduation, yet they still let her out late like this to get fucking, milk tea or whatever. Or in this case, ice cream and Wal-Mart. We went to this ice-cream place that apparently Ag goes to all the time after badminton practices. Place was still open, the atmosphere was very nice and light ('course, it was like, 10:30 PM at this time so), some people congratulated us on our graduation (we were still in our graduation gowns). The place was blasting some OG GD songs as well as other songs that I could understand.
Ag and I got some ice-cream (which wasn't really ice-cream, it was, frozen milk) and ate there, and as we were enjoying our late-night ice cream, a couple of people walked in, I, didn't pay attention, I had my back turned towards the door actually. I hear from behind me "Is that Drew? Drew!" and I turn around and it was Ct with her friend. I was like "What, are, the odds." Like, huhhhh, this was, what crazy timing. What a, what a plethora of guests there were for the last episode special of the series. That was fucking awesome.
We talked for a bit, they left soon after ordering, and then it was me and Ag's turn to leave. I actually contemplated working there, just because of the music and atmosphere. Seemed like a, pretty cool place to work at. Uhhh, and then afterwards, Ag needed to pick up some stuff from Wal-Mart so we headed there afterwards. Nothing better than Wal-Mart, at, like 11:00 PM. Did you know some Wal-Marts are open 24/7? I didn't even know that, it's, fucking crazy. But anyways, I drove her home afterwards, drove myself home, knew that I was too exhausted to write anything with effort, so I went to bed, and now here I am. It's, 5:46 PM, but I know I won't be finished with this until late at night tonight.
As always, I want to talk a bit about my teachers, and then I'll go over, essentially everything that I want to say. Starting off with, my Dance teacher, Ms.Cottengim. I actually had her as my P.E teacher for the jogging unit in my freshman year. She actually teaches Dance full-time now at school. Although she was missing for about 4 months for maternal leave, she, was a good teacher. Understandable, inspirational. Just, all-around chill person. Really would have liked to take Dance 2 (not the movie, the class), but ah well, maybe in a different timeline. My math teacher, Ms.Yi, was, ya know, like what I had said in the beginning of the year. "Tseng 2.0," heh. Overall, I passed her class, and uh, yeah it was a challenge. Don't really want to take it again, but uh, ya know, as a person outside of math, she's alright. My Digital Art teacher, Mr.Yanoska, I had him in my freshman year for a semester of Digital Art. It was called like, Intro to Graphic Design, or something like that. Overall really chill dude, exerts more effort than necessary for his students, very chill. My 5th period teacher, from the 1st semester, was Mr.Escobar. He'd always show bootleg videos in the beginning of his class every. Relates to his students very well, very youthful, overall, enjoys what he does, and students appreciate him for his overall personality and teaching methods.
This semester, I had Mr.Castro as my Economics teacher. He was on an even more, flatter state, when it came to student activities. My class, we pissed him off quite a few times (not me, but, you get what I mean). He lets students come in late (for my class at least), respects that we are, seniors, and so, we, don't care for much except maybe food, heh. Umm, but yeah, overall, he has a lot of good advice about the world. He's been through quite a bit. Ms.Kang, my 6th period Chinese teacher, for the past 3 years, was a handful. Now I'm not saying in any disrespectful way, but, she, she hands out a lot of bulk work. She has given us more assignments this year than all of my classes combined maybe. Okay that might be a bit of an exaggeration but, you get what I mean. Fortunately, the way she weighs things in her class, you can't really fail unless you don't turn shit in. So there's that leighway. As a person, she's very youthful, enjoys her doggies, appreciates her students who at least give her some respect. And finally, my English teacher, Mr.Mitchell. Besides choosing him to read my name for graduation, I find inspiration from him. At the beginning of the year, I knew he was a cool teacher, and I was right. He relates to his students, is very chill about things, treats 'em all equally. My perspective on him changed when he told us all the story about how he overcame his drug addiction in his life, after some tragic endings with people he was close with. I was awed by that. Like, going from the depths of drug addiction and relapsing, all the while overcoming tragedies, to leading a stable job and being a role model and somebody for students to look up to, it's fucking amazing. And so, after that, I had even more respect for him than I already did. And I bet he even has other cool stories to tell as well, ones that, I'd like to hear someday. So of course, I'll visit back and, talk to him about things.
And now, for the part you've all been waiting for. Just kidding 'cause this'll be the longest part of this whole thing: thoughts and feelings towards everybody I knew, over these 4 years. I'm not gonna write a page for each person, for practicality reasons, and I'm not gonna talk everybody whose name I knew over the course of 4 years. I'll keep it to people who've made an impact on me, at school, even the littlest of impacts. Alright, are you ready, 'cause I'm ready, ready to flip through this yearbook for names. Most will be people who I only met this year, or just in KDT. I'll be keeping it to only first names, as to keep at least SOME anonymity within all this. Here it is, and this is in no particular order, it's literally me going through the yearbook's order:
Nicolas - He's a freshman in KDT, joined just this year. In the beginning, I, didn't really pay much attention to him. He had on like, anime stuff, Hatsune Miku wigs, I was like "Alright, if that's what he wants to do." And I think some people think he's "cringy" or "weird" because of that, because he shows his interests publicly. He said during the KDT speeches that he felt like the people he hung out with during break and whatever, are kinda, shitty. He felt like people always looked down on him, thought he ain't amount to anything. And that's very disheartening to hear, because, after spending time with him at Fanime, he's actually a cool and chill-ass dude. Like, you can't hate him. My advice for him is to either, not express too much of that stuff, the anime stuff, in public, due to how, for most people in the bubble that is, this school, anime isn't that accepted, about 70% I suppose, don't really accept it, publicly, that is, in a classroom here. It, it all really depends on the people and circumstances, or, to keep doing what he's doing and he'll be able to find his real friends, for, the ones who accept him for sharing his interests out there.
About a couple days ago, he messaged me saying that between me and him, I'm one of his favorite seniors from KDT. From his speech, he felt like KDT were the only people who really accepted him for who he was, didn't judge him at all for expressing himself, and I agree, that's, that's one of the best things about KDT. But uh, yeah, he finds me as sort of a role-model I guess, or at least, finds inspiration from me, and that's, it is an honor. Because for me, I, I didn't really feel like anybody last year, well, before KDT but, I uh, I always looked towards Tu as inspiration, for somebody I want to be like or similar to. And now here I am, with somebody looking at me for inspiration. I really would like to see him excel in KDT and as a person who, will make his mark on who he is in these upcoming 3 years. I want him to know that I'll always have his back, if he wants to talk or hang out, I'll be there for him.
Kayce (pronounced "Casey") - He was a freshman in my dance class, joined about a couple weeks after the school-year started. Didn't think much of him at first, but, after a while, he's one of the people who made Dance class in the morning more lively. He has a lot of energy, a lot of freshmen do. I appreciate the effort he puts in for the dances, he, he actually tries, he actually asks for help on moves he isn't sure about, and, I appreciate that. He's also into the Supreme scene and skateboards so, that's cool too.
Koby - He's a freshman in KDT. And oh boy, he is one of the most playful, nicest dudes ever. You can't get mad at him, for anything, nor does he do anything that would make you mad, but you get what I mean. Despite challenges that arrives in his way, he's able to overcome them, with his positivity and energy. He;s very strong, mentally. He has, a lot, of energy, as a lot of the freshmen do at school. He's helped and offered help to me for a lot of things, and you know, I can't ask for anything more. Koby's a great guy, and I expect great things from him.
Amy and Kate - Amy's a sophomore from KDT, Kate's a freshman from KDT. Did not really talk to them much at all, but during the beginnings of KDT for this year, they've always caught my eye. Them and their group of friends always bring such light-heartedness to KDT, to everybody. Very, positive, gives KDT the "kawaii-ness" (you will not catch me using that word) it needs, and are just, all-around nice people.
Ryan - The freshman one, from KDT. He is such a friendly dude. He puts his own style in dancing, a big fan of BTS and GOT7. He's also going to be the new secretary for KDT next year. I appreciate his energy that he puts into every, especially in dancing. I'd love to see how far he gets in these next 3 years, I'm expecting great things.
Han - She's a freshman in KDT. Same as Kate, she brought the nice energy to KDT and those around her. They have this sub-unit called "ACE" in KDT, and I sure hope to see them perform more in the future.
Marissa - She's also a freshman in KDT. She's always caught my eye once she joined. I think she joined starting the 2nd semester of the school-year, but don't quote me on that. She and her groups of friends are so nice and I appreciate the attention that give to me even though we, never really talked. I do enjoy their company, and even more, when they came to graduation.
David - Mah boy David. He's a sophomore in KDT. I remember dancing with him last year in the very beginnings of my journey with KDT. It was like me, Ad, Cc, and a couple other people. Good times, good times. Overall energetic dude, I love his company.
Julie - Oh man, she's one of the sophomores from KDT (and also the new co-president) that I'ma miss the most. She is one of the most caring, most kindest, most friendly, comforting, person I know. And I don't even talk to her that often. It's more often usually just a "hi" wave daily, and we only really talk at KDT practices and shows. She wrote in her letter that she appreciates how me and Cc and some others always hung out with her during practices, that we gave her a chance to, gave her, people to talk to essentially. Numerous times she's asked me if I ever was feeling down, and, I love how she cares about others, how she puts others before herself. It seems that at some points she's going through dark times and it's saddening that a person like her has to go through some of these things. I just want her to know that I'll always have her back, whenever she needs it. I know that next year it'll be tough balancing work with KDT but I hope she prevails. I really will miss her company.
Ryan - The sophomore one, from KDT. Oh boy, I, heh, oh boy. I remember when he randomly joined in the 2nd semester of last year. Was first very quiet, didn't introduce himself to us, he was just there. And now look at him, a very loud-mouthed person (in a good way) in KDT, heh, and the new vice-president of KDT. I love how him and I have the same interests whether it be groups like NU'EST or NCT, or fashion, or, just, whatever. I love his thoughts, the banter we have. He's a fun dude. He has gone out of his way to help me, he's helped me a lot more than I think he knows, and I'm grateful for that. I'll miss hanging out with him, and Ln, and Jd, and Atr, all the sophomores.
Lyn - The sophomore from KDT. I had her added on Facebook from my Facebook adding spree I think, from a while back. I never talked to her, at all, but I knew she liked K-Pop. One day she messaged me on Facebook, asking me to help her win a K-Pop contest. I was like "Hey, blah blah blah," and she was like "Oh, blah blah blah," and I found out she's gonna be joining KDT and I was like "Hey, me too actually." And now here we are in KDT, and she's, she's one of the co-presidents now, heh. She is also another person who has went out of their way to help me. She has helped me more than she knows, and I can't thank her enough for all the effort she's put into me. Even when she didn't even need to, she helped me. Recently, throughout this year, she's been through some rough times, and I hope with all my heart that she'll overcome all of that, because KDT needs her, people like me need her, and, KDT and others like me, would not be the same without her help.
Amie - Aw yuh, the times were good. She's a sophomore in KDT. I will miss talking about K-Pop with her, especially when there's new releases and comebacks. She's really into BTS. She definitely knows her K-Pop lore. Generally a positive, nice person. I'd say more but, the details and the history's already there in past episodes, heh.
Isaac - This time it's not a person from KDT. Him and I met in Chinese class, in Chinese 1 or Chinese 2, I can't remember. Him and I shared interests like BS-ing Chinesee work, uhhh, some video games, some general interests like a bit of airsoft, etc. I always say hi to him when I see him around school. He does parkour now, a lot of it. People at school pretty much know him as the "parkour" guy. I'll miss having bootleg times in Chinese, with that one group with Zl and Jc. That was the bomb.
Aira - She's a junior from KDT. In the beginning of this year when she joined KDT, I gotta admit, I was jealous of her dancing. But that's okay, but it gave me motivation to practice more. But yeah, she's, a really chill person. She and I share the same sense of fashion, it's great.
Yung-Chi - Mah boy Yung-chi. Him and I go way back, in my sophomore year, I remember him and I and Ad dancing in KDT during the first few KDT practices. I only say first few KDT practices 'cause I was only there for the first few KDT practices. He was in my math class this year. Didn't really talk to him much this year. Overall though, he knows, I know him, we know who we are. He's a conversationalist, everybody generally likes him. Chill dude.
Jessica - The junior from KDT. She's been very supportive for me and what I do, or done. The best time was when her, me, Tm, and Cc were all together having lunch at the plaza near the school during the Key club show. Boy was that fucking nice. I also know her from her sister, who's a KDT alumni.
Celine - Oh boy oh boy. She's a junior from KDT. Out of all the people that I doubted would talk to me, she talked to me, heh. On multiple occasions. A very friendly person, and, I wish she had more opportunities to perform with KDT this year 'cause I do enjoy talking to her. But godamn, godamn. I will miss talking to her.
Michelle - She's a junior from KDT. Not only is she a weab (in a good way), she's very friendly, kind, caring, positive, energetic. She has also, helped me, more than she knows. She's been a great help for me this year. I can't thank her enough for what she's done, not just for me, but, for KDT, ya know, bringing in all the positivity and weab banter.
Dempsey, Alan, and Erik - These guys were my buddies from Dance class. These guys brought in some nice dance energy and especially Erik, the randomness that woke me up every early morning. I loved performing with them in the dance recital. The banter and everything, it was a such a different take on it all at that time, a cloud, over all the crazy shit happening. Good period of time where it was just, the only thing to worry about was dancing. I sure will miss these Hip-hop dudes.
Tim - A junior from KDT. Him and I met during the KDT KASA show. I didn't know him at all, I, really only talked to him 'cause I guess he was friends with Cc. It was a mutual friends, sorta thing. And, ya know, I liked what he talked, I guess he liked what he talked, 'cause now we love each other's company, heh. Him and I share the same sense of humor, same relate-able banter. In his letter he said that he thinks I'm one of the funniest people he's met and that really, touched me, heh. It's crazy think how much we got to know each other over the course of only one semester. It's insane. And of course, I can't thank him enough for how much he has helped me over the course of this time. I receive a lot of help from him.
Esteban - Him and I go way back to 7th and 8th grade. Him and I talked a lot 'cause we basically had the same classes. In 7th or 8th grade, I can't remember, we had like, the same 5 of the 6 classes of our schedule. We didn't really talk much in 8th grade, and then, nothing at all these past 4 years. I think at a couple points in time I was like "Hey, how's it going" around the school. I haven't seen him in a while until towards the end of this year. He still remembers me, I still remember. Goood times, good times.
Jasmine - The senior from KDT. I remember when she was in my Geography class. What mundane times those where, heh. And now here we are. She's been a good boss, umm, I'll definitely miss her, along with the other cabinet members from this year. If you want more details, you can go see the past episodes.
Cathy - Yeeeeeahh boy, this is uh, not sure how long this is gonna be. Cathy's a senior from KDT. I've known her since freshman year, and if not then sophomore year, I don't remember. My boy Ec always said hi to her. She ended up being in my English class. I remember the one time we talked during that time was after the art show that year, when we were walking back to class, and we talked. I think that's actually in one of the episodes if I'm not mistaken. And then, over that summer, she was like "You're going into KDT," and I'm like "Yeah," and she's like "See you there," or something along the lines of that. It's a, it's a long while ago, heh. Spent 2 years in KDT with her. She's the most nicest person you could ever know, probably a bit TOO nice, for her own good, heh. Uplifting, positive, caring, helpful. And DON'T, get me started on how much she has helped me. Because I could write pages upon pages, on how she has helped me. Fortunately, she and I are heading to the same college so, hopefully we don't drift apart. I really don't want to lose a good friend like her.
Samantha - Oh boy oh boy. The senior from KDT. I knew who she was, before KDT. Not really "knew," just really, knew who her name and what she looked like. My boy Ec and I talked about her. I got to know her over time in these 2 years in KDT, as well as Dance class this year. She's had unfortunate happenings that've occured to her, and I feel bad because, she's somebody who does not deserve all that. She doesn't deserve all for that the amount of caring, friendliness, helpfulness, that has for others. And especially me, she's also another person who has helped me a lot. I hope the best of luck to her and hope that things turn out even better, than great, for her.
Vy - I already gave out details in past episodes but, KDT was bomping with her in it. She was a senior in KDT, and uhh, were mutual friends with me and Jk. Good times. She was also in my Chinese class for the 2nd year.
Jack - MAH BOY. He's been a part of Father Nude's for a while now. By that I mean, the cast and I. He's provided me, not only transportation, but also, opportunities to risk it for the biscuit. Him and I have about the same goals so, it's nice to go places thinking "AW YUH." I'd also like to thank him for some of the vocabulary I use now. He's going to the same college as me so, hopefully we party hard, or, something, heh.
Justin - I don't where to start with this dude. He's a part of the cast, Father's Nudes, since the very beginning. Him, Ek, and Ag picked me up the beginning of junior year At that time, I did not know how I was gonna survive without my best friend, who had gotten booted out to a different school after sophomore year. But they picked me up, they gave me a chance to be myself. He's starred with me in so many episodes, so many movies, specials. I can't thank him enough for the help he's given me. And if we do drift apart, ya know, it's all part of High school.
Hoyun - Another senior KDT buddy. I don't think she really liked me in the beginning when I was first in KDT. But now it's okay, heh. We had Dance class together. She helped me by giving me her opinions on things, uplifting encouragements. I appreciate what she's done for me.
All the KDT alumni - I can't possibly name them all. They've just all been great inspirations for me, and look where I am now, heh. I'd say I wouldn't be able to have gotten to where I am now without their influence.
An - To be honest, I thought this would've been a more sadder ending with her going to a college 3 hours away, but she told me she'd be coming back home every weekend, so like, aw man, there goes my sad ending, heh. But it's all good, that just means, more time to spend with her. She is probably one of my favorite people in Father's Nude's, if I had to pick favorites, which I really don't, because I love everybody in it. We have the same sense of humor, she understands my banter, I have this sort of, confidence? Not sure what you'd call it, when I'm around her. Confidence to say whatever and not get shit for it, heh. But yeah, she's very caring, very nice. She, Ek introduced me to her that one day the library during math tutoring. That was actually mentioned probably in a past episode, of The Days. You should go see it.
Andrew - The senior, the one from Father's Nudes, the one who's part of the cast. I've known him for the longest time. Not like know-know, just, I knew who he was, knew his name, knew what he looked, just never really talked to him. He'd been in the talks with Ag and soon he was like "Hey do you mind if I hang out with you guys?" (this was in an episode) and look where he is now . He's a very caring person, helpful, puts others before himself. He'll be going to a college about 6 hours away so, after this summer it'll pretty much be the last I'll ever see of him for, who knows how long. Maybe forever, maybe not, I don't know. But I'm glad we got to pick him up like Ek, Ag, and Jk did for me.
Bea - The senior from KDT. She's somebody I really connect with but never really ever get the chance to. She and I share the same interests, sense of humor, aesthetic, you name it. She is caring, she is helpful, she does put others before herself, and it is unfortunate that things sometimes doesn't go her way. I do wish the best for her, when she's 13 hours away from here in college. She really is a great person with, I bet, a lot of cool stories that I'd like to hear. Plus she's helped me a ton, a lot, more than she knows.
Bryan - I've had him in my Chinese class and he's always hung out under that tree when Ec and I were still there. Just wanna say, if he does anything great in the world, I was one of the people he knew in High school. Just saying, I went to High school with him, he knew me.
Eloisa - Not sure how long I've known her, I think, maybe since middle school. I knew who she was was, her name, what she looked like, all through Facebook, because of how many people she's said "Happy birthday" to on Facebook, heh. I never actually talked to her, AT ALL, and I had plenty of times to do so, but I didn't, until, well the senior awards night episode, and SHE, was the one to initiate too. It's unfortunate that we've only started talking now, and I do blame myself for not risking it for biscuit. Because her personality is really nice, and we share that K-Pop mutuality.
Miah - The KDT senior. I remember when I sat behind her in math for sophomore year, maybe even Junior year too. We had the same math class or so. I never really talked to her though in there. I also had Chinese class with her in Junior year. And now here we are: she was my boss in KDT. Very good boss, even though I sometimes get pissed off at some of her yelling. I am, alive, and well. For the most part. I do appreciate all that she's done for the club though.
Lusi - Another member the of the cast, of Father's Nudes. She was picked up, not necessarily picked up, but you get what I mean. She, I, Ek, and Ec interacted under that one tree during the first two series. She was also in my Geography class freshman year. She's definitely added a lot to the group, and is usually the person to start events and planning, 'cause nobody else really does in the groupchat, heh. She'll be going to the farthest UC here in California so, after the summer, it'll most likely be "See ya" forever, at least a very long time. And of course, I will miss her. We share the same sense of humor.
Eryka - One of the cast members, one of the members of Father's Nudes, one of the three that picked me up in The Days. As what I stated above, she and I go back to the 1st series. Things really entwined after and during math tutoring at the local library during those summers. She'll still be around, so I'm not too too worried of, you know, never seeing her again.
Eric, Eric, Derek, Matthew, Charles, Jonathan - These dudes, are my homedudes. They are the Discord chat, and, even after all this time, even across three schools, we still somehow manage to stay connected, even the littlest of bit. Sure we got shit going in our lives, all different kinds of circumstances and shit, but what's stopping us from enjoying a night of pool together? They introduced me to, crazy nights during the beginning of this series. From going into storm drain pipes at night, to, playing pool late at night, to just, anything. I'm curious to see where our paths lead us. I, it's all a mystery. I really would like a road trip with 'em, at least once. That'd be sick.
Eric - This is a special one for my boy Eric. I've known him since middle school, 6th grade actually, but I didn't talk to him until middle school. We hung out together for the longest time, until he had to switch schools after sophomore year. We still kept in contact though. I still consider him my best friend. We've been through a lot together, and uh, for the longest time, I wasn't sure what I'd do without him. Yeah it is soft, all of this, I'm not comfortable being like this but, heh, it's true. Luckily for me, we're both heading to the same college, so, maybe we'll still do shit together.
A few more people I'd like to mention are Yuetong, Yennie, Aaron, Khason, and EmilyO. Uhhhh, there's, I'm probably missing some people I wanna mention, so if they are not mentioned, it might be because, I've either explained enough about 'em in episodes, or, I just forgot, and if I ever forgot anything these last few days, it's that I forgot to take off my lock and take my stuff out of my school locker. Umm, but yeah. these people have either influenced me, inspired me, helped, provided excitement for some of the series, or, any combination of the above. Most of their details are in past episodes.
Alright, finally, the moment you've all been waiting for. My final reflection on all of this shit, before I can fully lay it to rest for those who need, and most importantly, lay a part of ME to rest, because I've had to keep this up, for 4 whole years. My tiredness has been, through the roof. It's dug itself so deep, that my emotions still need to catch up to my awakened state, before I can feel any real sadness about all this. About, the past couple weeks. So it is.
*RECORD SCRATCH* *FREEZE FRAME* Yep, this was all me. You're probably wondering how I got myself writing all of this. Let's go back a bit. *VHS TAPE REWINDS TO NOVEMBER 2013* I wanted something to look back upon. I want it to be like a book, I want all of these entries to be put together into one, big book. It'll be a great success. Now, that was all before my Word document corrupted and I said "Fuck it" until about December where I started it up again, but this time, on Google Docs. *FAST FORWARDS TO DECEMBER 2013* Here I was at my grandmother's house, writing on Google docs about what I've done so far, which was not much. I still wanted it to be a book, and then after, I wanted to make it into a TV show. I looked online to see if other people have had the same idea, to think of their days as episodes of a TV show, where they're the main character. Not much info was found, so I took it upon myself to make it all my own.
And that was how it was all born. Okay well, I actually wanted to start something even earlier than November 2013, starting the middle of 8th grade, but that failed horribly. I still have it but I don't think I'd be willing to show it because it is, very, childish stuff. However, the format was pretty much the same. Sometimes I'd talk about my day, sometimes I'd talk my ideas about a topic. It only lasted a few posts though, and it's still there on the web. And no it wasn't a book at that time, it was a blog.
And then it turned into a book, and then a better book, and then a TV show. Why a TV show? Well, life was pretty boring. There was no incentive to do much, no real motivation. If I envisioned there was an audience watching me, I'd want to do my best to entertain 'em, give 'em something to cheer and root for. That evolved into me wanting to look back on it all in the future, and then that evolved into "I wanna help those who might look for mutuality in terms of experiences." Back then, when I had a problem, I searched online for others who had the same problem with me, see if, others were going through what I was going through, so I wouldn't feel alone.
I'm hoping that by providing this set of experiences, that, if people feel alone, they can see for themselves from this list that, hey, they're not alone in their feelings, their, actions, their experiences, that, somebody else went through the same thing as them, felt the same thing, did what they did. It rationalizes it all a bit, like "I would'a done the same thing," or "Hey, it's normal to feel this way, I've been through it too." So after 4 years of all of this, I can honestly say that High school, is stupid. Don't believe me? Go see my past posts yourself and tell me it's not stupid. You're forced into a bubble for 4 years, forced to see the same faces for 4 years or less, whether you like 'em or not. Forced to take classes you might not even need or want, for 4 years. Forced to interact, with the same people, for 4 years or less.
It becomes your world for that time. Everything that happens seems like as if it were real, as if it were, the end all for everything, as if all your decisions mattered, that it dictated your future. When in reality, it's all very minute, very small, everything that you do. That rumor, it's gonna be out the window once you or anybody leaves. That embarrassing moment, that awkward moment, nobody's gonna remember it afterwards. That applies for the bad things. For the good things though, the things you do for people, those things may stay with them forever. Some people may never forget the good that you've done for them.
Friends that you form here: most will only be, for here. They're made here to help you get through these 4 years. Sure, you can just be by yourself for these 4 years, you don't need to make friends, but then that'd get very, fucking, boring. And you won't people who'd have your back for, let's say you need a ride, or homework to copy. Or, people to help you cope with things. So if you make friends, just know that if you choose to keep 'em, be sure that they're sure to keep you as well. If you make friends, just know that you may have to leave 'em or let 'em go after the 4 years.
Don't worry too much about popularity. Sure, you get some benefits from it, but don't focus too heavily on it. Because after the 4 years and you go to college, there's that reset where you're, essentially nobody. Even if you were very well-known, you become, without a doubt, a freshman nobody, once you step foot into college into your first class. If there's one thing you should worry about, it's time. You can do whatever you want, yeah, and you should do whatever you want in these 4 years, but just remember that what you want to do during those 4 years, you only get 4 years to do so.
If you don't the opportunity to do something, unless it's High school exclusive, you have, an entire human-lifetime, to do what you wanted to do. But for now, just do it. Risk it for the biscuit. Take risks, take chances. Do whatever it takes to make things exciting, because things do get boring, especially with 4 years in the same place. Leave with the least regrets possible, and you won't have to worry much. There is that one saying, not sure where it is from but, if somebody from the future doesn't go back in time to stop you from doing what you want to do, it can't be too bad right? Risk it for the biscuit.
Now let's say you're just one person out of, let's say, 3000 students, and you want to stand out. How do you get noticed? How do you stand out? Well that's easy: you stand out. You differentiate yourself from others, in any way you can. What you do for others, helpfulness, the way you talk to people who don't talk too much, the way you talk to everybody and anybody you see in class, the way you talk to your teachers, the way you join clubs, anything..You form your own identity in by how you want to do these things. If you don't care too much about it, then don't. But if you want to be different, just be different. But just remember that being too different may get you labeled as "weird," and unless you're reminding yourself every day that it will be meaningless after 4 years, it may affect you in those 4 years. Just keep it in mind.
One exception though for that. If being labeled as "weird" is prohibiting you from doing something you love, then fuck it, do what you love. There's countless examples I can provide that shows this, and from my own experiences as well. Just, go see the episodes.
A few final things about me: I uh, I am 18. My vocabulary consists of terms like "Boi," "What the scallop," "bootleg," "aw yuh," "aw yup," "o shit," "ooo," "fuking," and "fam." And some other terms as well. I ended up having people who have my back, as well as me having theirs. I ended being seen as "cool," from my fellow KDT members, from what they said in their letters. I am able to drive myself from place to place by myself. I turned out to become a dancer, an artist, a performer. I would not like to re-live these 4 years over again, I am currently hoping for a brighter future. You leave the bad, with some of the good. Just try to enjoy it, just try to survive.
My name is Andrew and I played the role of Drew in So Don't be on with Her, 100% Chance of Bad, The Days, and Precisely Refined. If you want any clarification on anything, if you have any questions about any episodes, want any details, any behind the scene looks, or just want to talk, contact me at my email at drewhtrain@gmail.com. After 4 years, after 1212 posts, I guess this is finally The End. Thank you for watching. See ya.
Sunday, June 4, 2017
Saturday, June 3, 2017
Friday, June 2, 2017 "Before the Last."
Friday, June 2, 2017
Week: 43
Songs to Remember: Happy - 2NE1, Plz Don't Be Sad - HIGHLIGHT, Limitless - NCT 127, Mask Off - Future
This time, I actually have a reason to prolong things. It's 12;35 AM, and I kinda want the last post/ episode to be, well-written, and not half-assed just 'cause I want to sleep.
And so, I will have to prolong the series by one day, one episode, one post. Tomorrow is gonna be a free day, so I'll have all the time, and no excuses, not to work on it and put every bit of detail and everything I want to say into it. So for now, see ya.
Week: 43
Songs to Remember: Happy - 2NE1, Plz Don't Be Sad - HIGHLIGHT, Limitless - NCT 127, Mask Off - Future
This time, I actually have a reason to prolong things. It's 12;35 AM, and I kinda want the last post/ episode to be, well-written, and not half-assed just 'cause I want to sleep.
And so, I will have to prolong the series by one day, one episode, one post. Tomorrow is gonna be a free day, so I'll have all the time, and no excuses, not to work on it and put every bit of detail and everything I want to say into it. So for now, see ya.
Friday, June 2, 2017
Thursday, June 1, 2017 "Korean Dance Team."
Thursday, June 1, 2017
Week: 43
Songs to Remember: Happy - 2NE1, Only You - 24K, Limitless - NCT 127, Press Your Number - Taemin
This project, after thinking about everything, thinking about the future, being hopeful, for the future, that's there going to be more options for me (which there will be), it all seems so small. All this made me realize how small things are. For example, a bad rumor about you. Okay, so now maybe 100, 200 people, at your High school now knows about it. Some may believe it, some may not.
You feel like your reputation's ruined, it's over, people, won't want to talk to you anymore or whatever. But by the time you graduate (which is hardly any time at all), barely, and I mean, barely, anybody will remember it, let alone think twice about it. And this can apply for so many other things. High school, is just one bubble. Not even a big bubble, just, a bubble. You're forced to stay in it, forced to see the same faces every day.
So when bad things happen, or just things happen in general, it's all kept in there. It bounces around in the bubble, and so things do seem very big, when they're actually not. And it did take me a while to understand that. Not too too long though. And so, after becoming aware of this, it, gives me much more hope that there's going to be lot more in store for me. These series, these don't tell my whole story, not by a long shot. There's much more than that, way more than that.
And so, the KDT senior picnic was a good way to end most of it all. I didn't cry, even though I wanted to cry. I did, however, cried at home, after reading Tm's letter about me. The underclass-men wrote letters to us and made us gift-bags, like last year. My speech wasn't as great as I had wanted it to be, but it was still alright. A lot of people opened up about how shit things were before they joined KDT, umm, it made me really see how powerful, KDT is, and uh, that's, that's one of the reasons why I'll miss it.
I got tired after crying a bit, so I took a nap, woke up at 2:30 AM, which is right now. Still got a lot more to describe and so, however, that'll be put into tomorrow's post and episode, also known as, the last, post and episode for the series, and for the project as a whole. Man, oh man, is it going to be long. Anyways, for now, see ya.
Week: 43
Songs to Remember: Happy - 2NE1, Only You - 24K, Limitless - NCT 127, Press Your Number - Taemin
This project, after thinking about everything, thinking about the future, being hopeful, for the future, that's there going to be more options for me (which there will be), it all seems so small. All this made me realize how small things are. For example, a bad rumor about you. Okay, so now maybe 100, 200 people, at your High school now knows about it. Some may believe it, some may not.
You feel like your reputation's ruined, it's over, people, won't want to talk to you anymore or whatever. But by the time you graduate (which is hardly any time at all), barely, and I mean, barely, anybody will remember it, let alone think twice about it. And this can apply for so many other things. High school, is just one bubble. Not even a big bubble, just, a bubble. You're forced to stay in it, forced to see the same faces every day.
So when bad things happen, or just things happen in general, it's all kept in there. It bounces around in the bubble, and so things do seem very big, when they're actually not. And it did take me a while to understand that. Not too too long though. And so, after becoming aware of this, it, gives me much more hope that there's going to be lot more in store for me. These series, these don't tell my whole story, not by a long shot. There's much more than that, way more than that.
And so, the KDT senior picnic was a good way to end most of it all. I didn't cry, even though I wanted to cry. I did, however, cried at home, after reading Tm's letter about me. The underclass-men wrote letters to us and made us gift-bags, like last year. My speech wasn't as great as I had wanted it to be, but it was still alright. A lot of people opened up about how shit things were before they joined KDT, umm, it made me really see how powerful, KDT is, and uh, that's, that's one of the reasons why I'll miss it.
I got tired after crying a bit, so I took a nap, woke up at 2:30 AM, which is right now. Still got a lot more to describe and so, however, that'll be put into tomorrow's post and episode, also known as, the last, post and episode for the series, and for the project as a whole. Man, oh man, is it going to be long. Anyways, for now, see ya.
Thursday, June 1, 2017
Wendnesday, May 31, 2017 "Music-Evoked Nostalgia."
Wendnesday, May 31, 2017
Week: 43
Songs to Remember: Only You - 24K, Hello Hello - B.I.G, Happy - 2NE1, Plz Don't Be Sad - Highlight,
I honestly don't know what to write. I don't really feel anything, or at least not yet. I've just been tired, and exhausted.
One of the things that help me remember things the best, better than these posts even, is music. It's one of the reasons why I keep the "Songs to Remember" section, why I keep a collection of music, why I keep a time-stamp of when they're added to my collection. I listen to a song in the moment of something and soon enough that song becomes connected, it becomes synced, to that moment.
Some songs I've listened to them on multiple occasions, making them very general, and can apply to a lot of situations and events, making me remember either not much, or a lot, usually the former. For example, Taemin's "Press Your Number." It is probably my most-played song as of today. I've listened to it in so many situations and times that it doesn't really represent any exact time. It's just, a song. Some songs, they make me remember very specific times and locations. For example, listening to "When the Moon's Reaching Out Stars" from the Persona 3 OST, it takes me back to the summer of 2013 when I was playing Yu-Gi-Oh with my cousin at my grandmother's house, 'cause he was playing Persona 3 at that time and that song kept on coming up.
And then there are songs that are tied to bad or sad events or times, and it's a shame because, these are really good songs, but every time I hear them, it makes me think back to those times. Some of these songs include Bruno Mars' "That's What I Like," The Weeknd's "I Feel It Coming," NCT 127's "Paradise," DPR LIVE's songs, Giriboy (기리보이)'s "SKIT (CHEEZE사리추가VER), PRODUCE 101's "PICK ME 2," Romeo's "WITHOUT U" (not so much anymore but still), you get what I mean. The list goes on. All of these are really good songs, but damn, they just bring back too much bad thoughts.
Yes, that is also why I pick songs for the opening and endings of each series. Those are things that I want to remember and so I purposely try to pick something that'd be representative of what is to come, or what had happened for the series. Listening to the songs, it's like "Ahhh I remember this. The beginning of season 3. Good times, good times " And yes, the "Songs to Remember" part of each post are what I'm listening to currently as I'm making the post, or, what I listened to the day of the post, or the like.
Today I spent a bit of time after school with Tm. 3rd period ended with what I continued with the whole year: a whole lot of nothing, heh. It was good time to relax though. I think that if I did not have this class I would not have survived, because it gave me, so much ample time to get shit done when I did not want to do things at home, either because I was too tired or it ended up being too late that I'd be too tired to do it. Other than that, it was pretty boring, mostly because most of the topics covered was stuff I already knew or was already familiar with.
4th period English, I, I thought I was going to have a mental breakdown after school because I had thought that my group members did not do the video after I told 'em I could not make it. I was like "Holy fuck, I am, going to be going insane after-school in order to put together 90 fucking clips." Fortunately one of my group members did put together a video, and had it on a USB flashdrive, so, that uh, that saved me. We did the final in class (which wasn't too difficult) and watched the skit videos of other groups whilst having a little potluck of, junkfood, heh.
Anyways, I drove Tm and myself to Safeway, for my to pick up some food, as well as to Walgreens to pick up a set of grad pictures for one person. And then drove him home. I proceeded to drive to my old elementary school and home (which were located in walking distance of each other), for old times sake, to see how far I've gotten. It all looked very different, it was expected, but I didn't expect it too too much. The classroom locations stayed the same, the structures were the same, however the walls were re-painted.
I asked about whether any of my teachers were still there, but unfortunately all but one were retired, and the one who was still there was on a field trip. I honestly did not think it was that long ago, but I guess it was. Everything looked, very small. The desks and chairs, just everything. I walked to my old, old house through the neighborhood and whilst some houses seemed familiar, I just, couldn't remember most of 'em. It was all very, very faint. I took a look at my old house and saw how, small it was. The gate, the fences, I was like "These all seemed gigantic back then. This gate felt like triple my height." And now I'm, I'm like, able to look over it, heh. "Were they this small back then." I saw the window of the house and that instantly brought back images of how my dad's room looked, how, my mom's room looked, how I spent quite a bit of years sleeping in there, sleeping next to my mom.
It was, not as sad as I had thought. Didn't cry even, I didn't feel much. It was really just, me trying to grasp how long it's been, how feint all these memories were. Drove back home with nothing much else, uhhh, and now here I am, at 11:57 PM, with Gov work to do. I had essentially no time at all these past 2 weeks to work on the dances for the KDT picnic tomorrow, so oh well. Fortunately for me, my fellow KDT members did not practice either, so that makes things a bit better. Still need to write a speech, still need to do work. I'll try to get it all done before 2:00 AM. Please. This is the 3rd to last post, 3rd to last episode of the series. See ya.
Week: 43
Songs to Remember: Only You - 24K, Hello Hello - B.I.G, Happy - 2NE1, Plz Don't Be Sad - Highlight,
I honestly don't know what to write. I don't really feel anything, or at least not yet. I've just been tired, and exhausted.
One of the things that help me remember things the best, better than these posts even, is music. It's one of the reasons why I keep the "Songs to Remember" section, why I keep a collection of music, why I keep a time-stamp of when they're added to my collection. I listen to a song in the moment of something and soon enough that song becomes connected, it becomes synced, to that moment.
Some songs I've listened to them on multiple occasions, making them very general, and can apply to a lot of situations and events, making me remember either not much, or a lot, usually the former. For example, Taemin's "Press Your Number." It is probably my most-played song as of today. I've listened to it in so many situations and times that it doesn't really represent any exact time. It's just, a song. Some songs, they make me remember very specific times and locations. For example, listening to "When the Moon's Reaching Out Stars" from the Persona 3 OST, it takes me back to the summer of 2013 when I was playing Yu-Gi-Oh with my cousin at my grandmother's house, 'cause he was playing Persona 3 at that time and that song kept on coming up.
And then there are songs that are tied to bad or sad events or times, and it's a shame because, these are really good songs, but every time I hear them, it makes me think back to those times. Some of these songs include Bruno Mars' "That's What I Like," The Weeknd's "I Feel It Coming," NCT 127's "Paradise," DPR LIVE's songs, Giriboy (기리보이)'s "SKIT (CHEEZE사리추가VER), PRODUCE 101's "PICK ME 2," Romeo's "WITHOUT U" (not so much anymore but still), you get what I mean. The list goes on. All of these are really good songs, but damn, they just bring back too much bad thoughts.
Yes, that is also why I pick songs for the opening and endings of each series. Those are things that I want to remember and so I purposely try to pick something that'd be representative of what is to come, or what had happened for the series. Listening to the songs, it's like "Ahhh I remember this. The beginning of season 3. Good times, good times " And yes, the "Songs to Remember" part of each post are what I'm listening to currently as I'm making the post, or, what I listened to the day of the post, or the like.
Today I spent a bit of time after school with Tm. 3rd period ended with what I continued with the whole year: a whole lot of nothing, heh. It was good time to relax though. I think that if I did not have this class I would not have survived, because it gave me, so much ample time to get shit done when I did not want to do things at home, either because I was too tired or it ended up being too late that I'd be too tired to do it. Other than that, it was pretty boring, mostly because most of the topics covered was stuff I already knew or was already familiar with.
4th period English, I, I thought I was going to have a mental breakdown after school because I had thought that my group members did not do the video after I told 'em I could not make it. I was like "Holy fuck, I am, going to be going insane after-school in order to put together 90 fucking clips." Fortunately one of my group members did put together a video, and had it on a USB flashdrive, so, that uh, that saved me. We did the final in class (which wasn't too difficult) and watched the skit videos of other groups whilst having a little potluck of, junkfood, heh.
Anyways, I drove Tm and myself to Safeway, for my to pick up some food, as well as to Walgreens to pick up a set of grad pictures for one person. And then drove him home. I proceeded to drive to my old elementary school and home (which were located in walking distance of each other), for old times sake, to see how far I've gotten. It all looked very different, it was expected, but I didn't expect it too too much. The classroom locations stayed the same, the structures were the same, however the walls were re-painted.
I asked about whether any of my teachers were still there, but unfortunately all but one were retired, and the one who was still there was on a field trip. I honestly did not think it was that long ago, but I guess it was. Everything looked, very small. The desks and chairs, just everything. I walked to my old, old house through the neighborhood and whilst some houses seemed familiar, I just, couldn't remember most of 'em. It was all very, very faint. I took a look at my old house and saw how, small it was. The gate, the fences, I was like "These all seemed gigantic back then. This gate felt like triple my height." And now I'm, I'm like, able to look over it, heh. "Were they this small back then." I saw the window of the house and that instantly brought back images of how my dad's room looked, how, my mom's room looked, how I spent quite a bit of years sleeping in there, sleeping next to my mom.
It was, not as sad as I had thought. Didn't cry even, I didn't feel much. It was really just, me trying to grasp how long it's been, how feint all these memories were. Drove back home with nothing much else, uhhh, and now here I am, at 11:57 PM, with Gov work to do. I had essentially no time at all these past 2 weeks to work on the dances for the KDT picnic tomorrow, so oh well. Fortunately for me, my fellow KDT members did not practice either, so that makes things a bit better. Still need to write a speech, still need to do work. I'll try to get it all done before 2:00 AM. Please. This is the 3rd to last post, 3rd to last episode of the series. See ya.
Wednesday, May 31, 2017
Tuesday, May 30, 2017 "Sleep Sick."
Tuesday, May 30, 2017
Week: 43
Songs to Remember: Only You - 24K, Hello Hello - B.I.G
It is unfortunate that I just had to come across a sickly cough that made me want to stay in bed for quite a few hours today. And I would write something because there's not much time left to write about what I want to write, but considering it's 2:35 AM, and if I were to stay up any longer, it'd do more worse than good.
I had my yearbook signed by the people I liked in 1st period and gave out some of my grad photo-cards. And by people I liked, I mean those who made a more significant impact or role in the series while in Dance. Second period was much different, for I didn't care much about anybody in there, so I just spent the time writing letters on my grad photo-cards for people.
Tomorrow is probably gonna be the same for 3rd period, and as for 4th period, that's just a final of which, I think I'll do fine on. And yes, tomorrow, I will have very much to do, so I'm hoping to get as much done in 3rd period as possible to finish these letters, so that I may focus on these last few things for tomorrow: speech, this whole thing, and dances. And so, see ya.
Week: 43
Songs to Remember: Only You - 24K, Hello Hello - B.I.G
It is unfortunate that I just had to come across a sickly cough that made me want to stay in bed for quite a few hours today. And I would write something because there's not much time left to write about what I want to write, but considering it's 2:35 AM, and if I were to stay up any longer, it'd do more worse than good.
I had my yearbook signed by the people I liked in 1st period and gave out some of my grad photo-cards. And by people I liked, I mean those who made a more significant impact or role in the series while in Dance. Second period was much different, for I didn't care much about anybody in there, so I just spent the time writing letters on my grad photo-cards for people.
Tomorrow is probably gonna be the same for 3rd period, and as for 4th period, that's just a final of which, I think I'll do fine on. And yes, tomorrow, I will have very much to do, so I'm hoping to get as much done in 3rd period as possible to finish these letters, so that I may focus on these last few things for tomorrow: speech, this whole thing, and dances. And so, see ya.
Tuesday, May 30, 2017
Monday, May 29, 2017 "Hotel Fanime Recap."
Monday, May 29, 2017
Week: 43
Songs to Remember: Redbone - Childish Gambino, Slide - Calvin Harris, Happy - 2NE1, Despacito - Luis Fonsi, Daddy Yankee
It's unbelievable to think that tomorrow is Tuesday. It's also unbelievable that today was the first episode of the last season of this series.
This whole weekend was an experience that just, highlighted my independence for the time being. Pretty stressful when it came to managing time. As in, what to do, where to go, who to go with. To recap it all, the Fanime weekend started off with packing and driving Jd and Lw to the convention center after school. Ag unfortunately, could not go in the end, so it just ended up being me, Jk, Lw, and Ek.
At the convention center, I stuck with Jd in order to find the rest of the KDT group. Very stressful start to the convention, because the KDT group was trying to flash-mob at the park across the convention center. We were also running short on time, Mt's yelling was getting on my nerves, I got pretty stressed out because of that, but in the end it was okay. Our performance went by super-quick. There were A LOT more people watching than I expected. Overall, not too bad.
Went by very quick though, and I was only in one song. After the performance, we all stuck around to watch KDT's sub-unit "LMBR" perform.There were also others watching as well, people, who weren't performing, as well as some KDT alumni. After the LMBR performance, it was time to be escorted out. Umm, Cc was kinda, she was trying to avoid going with DrewH, as he was standing outside the area after the performance, as well as the other dude. However, our buddy Tm was present, and we didn't get his badge yet, so we headed downstairs with him to get his badge.
We proceeded to explore the whole place, including the dealer's hall, artist alley, etc. I essentially hung out with them the whole day, just Cc and Tm. We ended it off with eating at this place that served tacos, aaand, that was it for day one. I met up with Jk and the cast, along with Jk's three other mutual friends, in the gaming hall after it all. It was around, 11:00 PM or something, just, very late. I was exhausted, like, just dead. And, considering how i had school the same day, eight hours of school, I had a good reason to.
Drove us all (Ek, Jk, Lw, and I) to the hotel inn that we would be staying at. Checked in at like 12:30 AM, the dude looked at me very suspiciously. I mean, I booked the reservation online beforehanda already, I had ID, it, it says my birth-date right there on it, yet he still questioned my age, and, even asked how many would be staying in my room even though there were clearly only three others outside, and the room fitted five people anyways.
Paid in cash, still had to do a deposit, and after about 5 long minutes, I got the room. We got in, looked much better than the pictures online. Plopped out stuff down, checked things out, Jk and Ek weren't feeling too well or were too tired, so me and Lw went to the nearest 7/11 to get dinner and medicine. Dinner for us was, dry-packaged noodles, and that was for two nights essentially. Not really healthy, but was very otaku-ish-like, fitting in the theme for Fanime. After our late-night meal, w went to bed. The day after, we got the free breakfast, I had a sore-throat for the morning, got ready, and we got to the convention center at around 11:00 AM. That day, I spent it with Ek and Lw and the the cast and whatnot. We, did the whole usual stuff like going through the dealer's hall and artist alley, umm, at points there were times where I felt like "What the fuck are we doing." For example, Jk and his mutual buddies wanted to go to the comedy club event at the hotel located across the convention (it was part of the convention).
I already knew it was gong to be shit, but I gave it the benefit of the doubt. Nope, I was right, turned out to be shit. It was boring, yes, jokes were, shit. Lw was bored as fuck, I was bored as fuck, Jk was the one who wanted to go and he wasn't even paying attention to it. We all finally left, we, ended it off with some gaming at the gaming hall, with some games like Jenga, Malarky, and Pop-Up Pirate. Oh and btw Ek went home early, so she didn't make it for the comedy club and afterwards. Also the Ek and Lw's buddies were there as well for a bit for that day.
Day three, it was just me, Jk, and Lw. We had our free breakfast, packed our stuff, and checked out. Arrived to the convention, it was, mostly me and Lw for the day. She and I explored the dealer's hall and artist alley whilst Jk and his buddies did whatever. Lw had to leave at at around 3:00 PM to eat with her brother who arrived here, to the state, for her graduation. I kinda separated to go off on my own to look for Cc and her group. I eventually found her in the dealer's hall, with three other people. It was the dude that was at one of the centers for all the drama (of course, I suppose things turned out okay because Cc was duo-cosplaying with him, as Rin and Obito), a sophomore from KDT (or at least I think so, I apologize if I'm wrong, heh), and their mutual friend who's a senior.
We went around the dealer's hall, went around in artist alley, ended up in the gaming hall into the night, where it was me, and Cc's buddies playing Jenga with these other two people, who, although looking like maybe High school students, turned out to be older than us, and college students. Tm arrived to the con at this time and so, Cc and Tm went on their own. I was stuck playing Jenga, so, I waited out a bit before, going to find them myself because I was not really feeling the Jenga game at that point, heh. Found 'em, we, uh, at this point, the dealer's hall and artist alley were closed, so, we went around looking for cosplays. Soon enough though, they had to go home, I had to find Jk and his group of buddies.
They were, doing nothing that really interested me, and so I just went home. Was very, very tired. It was hard to keep up with the pace of everything. It was like a non-stop train of, doing something. Which was great, but also very straining. I didn't really buy much stuff, wasn't really all that into taking pictures with cosplayers. I guess having been to Anime Expo so many times, it's hard to top what they have compared to the tiny convention center here.
That whole weekend experience was not really what I expected, in fact it was entirely different in what I had hoped to have happened. I guess my expectations were too high, with me considering how things went last year, with everything, I was hyping it all up. It was still good though, everything that happened, it's, it's just kind of a mixed feeling. I am glad to have done all that, but I am also glad to just be here sitting in my chair of experiences in front of my desk.
Relaxation is far from here though. This season, this week, I'll have to dance, and write, A LOT. Even now, I got some grad photos to write letters on to pass out tomorrow and the days after. I got a speech to write, dances to learn, only a couple of finals to prepare for to ensure my graduation, aaand prepping this project for the end. So, let's get started on all that. It's 12:16 AM. Oh and no, didn't do much today expect drive to the convention to meet up with Lw for like 10 minutes and then went home 'cause there wasn't any shit to do, and I need a day of rest. I'll see you tomorrow.
Week: 43
Songs to Remember: Redbone - Childish Gambino, Slide - Calvin Harris, Happy - 2NE1, Despacito - Luis Fonsi, Daddy Yankee
It's unbelievable to think that tomorrow is Tuesday. It's also unbelievable that today was the first episode of the last season of this series.
This whole weekend was an experience that just, highlighted my independence for the time being. Pretty stressful when it came to managing time. As in, what to do, where to go, who to go with. To recap it all, the Fanime weekend started off with packing and driving Jd and Lw to the convention center after school. Ag unfortunately, could not go in the end, so it just ended up being me, Jk, Lw, and Ek.
At the convention center, I stuck with Jd in order to find the rest of the KDT group. Very stressful start to the convention, because the KDT group was trying to flash-mob at the park across the convention center. We were also running short on time, Mt's yelling was getting on my nerves, I got pretty stressed out because of that, but in the end it was okay. Our performance went by super-quick. There were A LOT more people watching than I expected. Overall, not too bad.
Went by very quick though, and I was only in one song. After the performance, we all stuck around to watch KDT's sub-unit "LMBR" perform.There were also others watching as well, people, who weren't performing, as well as some KDT alumni. After the LMBR performance, it was time to be escorted out. Umm, Cc was kinda, she was trying to avoid going with DrewH, as he was standing outside the area after the performance, as well as the other dude. However, our buddy Tm was present, and we didn't get his badge yet, so we headed downstairs with him to get his badge.
We proceeded to explore the whole place, including the dealer's hall, artist alley, etc. I essentially hung out with them the whole day, just Cc and Tm. We ended it off with eating at this place that served tacos, aaand, that was it for day one. I met up with Jk and the cast, along with Jk's three other mutual friends, in the gaming hall after it all. It was around, 11:00 PM or something, just, very late. I was exhausted, like, just dead. And, considering how i had school the same day, eight hours of school, I had a good reason to.
Drove us all (Ek, Jk, Lw, and I) to the hotel inn that we would be staying at. Checked in at like 12:30 AM, the dude looked at me very suspiciously. I mean, I booked the reservation online beforehanda already, I had ID, it, it says my birth-date right there on it, yet he still questioned my age, and, even asked how many would be staying in my room even though there were clearly only three others outside, and the room fitted five people anyways.
Paid in cash, still had to do a deposit, and after about 5 long minutes, I got the room. We got in, looked much better than the pictures online. Plopped out stuff down, checked things out, Jk and Ek weren't feeling too well or were too tired, so me and Lw went to the nearest 7/11 to get dinner and medicine. Dinner for us was, dry-packaged noodles, and that was for two nights essentially. Not really healthy, but was very otaku-ish-like, fitting in the theme for Fanime. After our late-night meal, w went to bed. The day after, we got the free breakfast, I had a sore-throat for the morning, got ready, and we got to the convention center at around 11:00 AM. That day, I spent it with Ek and Lw and the the cast and whatnot. We, did the whole usual stuff like going through the dealer's hall and artist alley, umm, at points there were times where I felt like "What the fuck are we doing." For example, Jk and his mutual buddies wanted to go to the comedy club event at the hotel located across the convention (it was part of the convention).
I already knew it was gong to be shit, but I gave it the benefit of the doubt. Nope, I was right, turned out to be shit. It was boring, yes, jokes were, shit. Lw was bored as fuck, I was bored as fuck, Jk was the one who wanted to go and he wasn't even paying attention to it. We all finally left, we, ended it off with some gaming at the gaming hall, with some games like Jenga, Malarky, and Pop-Up Pirate. Oh and btw Ek went home early, so she didn't make it for the comedy club and afterwards. Also the Ek and Lw's buddies were there as well for a bit for that day.
Day three, it was just me, Jk, and Lw. We had our free breakfast, packed our stuff, and checked out. Arrived to the convention, it was, mostly me and Lw for the day. She and I explored the dealer's hall and artist alley whilst Jk and his buddies did whatever. Lw had to leave at at around 3:00 PM to eat with her brother who arrived here, to the state, for her graduation. I kinda separated to go off on my own to look for Cc and her group. I eventually found her in the dealer's hall, with three other people. It was the dude that was at one of the centers for all the drama (of course, I suppose things turned out okay because Cc was duo-cosplaying with him, as Rin and Obito), a sophomore from KDT (or at least I think so, I apologize if I'm wrong, heh), and their mutual friend who's a senior.
We went around the dealer's hall, went around in artist alley, ended up in the gaming hall into the night, where it was me, and Cc's buddies playing Jenga with these other two people, who, although looking like maybe High school students, turned out to be older than us, and college students. Tm arrived to the con at this time and so, Cc and Tm went on their own. I was stuck playing Jenga, so, I waited out a bit before, going to find them myself because I was not really feeling the Jenga game at that point, heh. Found 'em, we, uh, at this point, the dealer's hall and artist alley were closed, so, we went around looking for cosplays. Soon enough though, they had to go home, I had to find Jk and his group of buddies.
They were, doing nothing that really interested me, and so I just went home. Was very, very tired. It was hard to keep up with the pace of everything. It was like a non-stop train of, doing something. Which was great, but also very straining. I didn't really buy much stuff, wasn't really all that into taking pictures with cosplayers. I guess having been to Anime Expo so many times, it's hard to top what they have compared to the tiny convention center here.
That whole weekend experience was not really what I expected, in fact it was entirely different in what I had hoped to have happened. I guess my expectations were too high, with me considering how things went last year, with everything, I was hyping it all up. It was still good though, everything that happened, it's, it's just kind of a mixed feeling. I am glad to have done all that, but I am also glad to just be here sitting in my chair of experiences in front of my desk.
Relaxation is far from here though. This season, this week, I'll have to dance, and write, A LOT. Even now, I got some grad photos to write letters on to pass out tomorrow and the days after. I got a speech to write, dances to learn, only a couple of finals to prepare for to ensure my graduation, aaand prepping this project for the end. So, let's get started on all that. It's 12:16 AM. Oh and no, didn't do much today expect drive to the convention to meet up with Lw for like 10 minutes and then went home 'cause there wasn't any shit to do, and I need a day of rest. I'll see you tomorrow.
Sunday, May 28, 2017
Sunday, May 28, 2017 "SleepDay."
Sunday, May 28, 2017
Week: 42
Songs to Remember:
Fidget spinners (don't tell anybody), furries, food, food, lots of food, walking, books, mornings, just, a lot of a variety of stuff, of which, I will describe tomorrow. Only because it is late, it's 11:31 PM, I'm now home, and, I want some sleep. So, see ya.
Week: 42
Songs to Remember:
Fidget spinners (don't tell anybody), furries, food, food, lots of food, walking, books, mornings, just, a lot of a variety of stuff, of which, I will describe tomorrow. Only because it is late, it's 11:31 PM, I'm now home, and, I want some sleep. So, see ya.
Saturday, May 27, 2017 "Fan Yeah."
Saturday, May 27, 2017
Week: 42
Songs to Remember:
Yeah it's 1:05 AM and so, it's kinda obvious that I am tired, heh. So, Sunday to recap this Fanime trip, it is.
Week: 42
Songs to Remember:
Yeah it's 1:05 AM and so, it's kinda obvious that I am tired, heh. So, Sunday to recap this Fanime trip, it is.
Friday, May 26, 2017 "Fan."
Friday, May 26, 2017
Week: 42
Songs to Remember:
Yeah I forgot, heh, to make a post because of all this crazy shit. I'll talk about all this, Sunday, maybe.
Week: 42
Songs to Remember:
Yeah I forgot, heh, to make a post because of all this crazy shit. I'll talk about all this, Sunday, maybe.
Thursday, May 25, 2017 "It's Coming On."
Thursday, May 25, 2017
Week: 42
Songs to Remember: Redbone - Childish Gambino, Stars On 45 - Stars On 45
Ya'll asked for it. I kinda asked for it myself. Although it is 11:41 PM, I'm not tired. Because this time, it's more emotional than it is physical feeling.
In order to keep some integrity with this whole thing (or what's left anyways), I'll be keeping things honest and, unfiltered, so as to fully reflect upon, how I'm feeling right now. Today was a rather fun day. Minus doing nothing in Dance, nothing in math, nothing in Digital Art, listening in English, nothing in Econ, and taking the final (with assistance from built-in Google Translate) in Chinese, I enjoyed it. The stuff after, of course.
I asked Ag to help me get my yearbook early after school, for there was a really, really long line when I got there. I went home and waited on Tm's reply if he would be willing to get his Fanime badge today with me. He was busy, and so I asked Ag. I asked Ag if she would be going for the weekend, and so far it's a yes from her parents, for both the hotel and the Fanime weekend. In fact, umm, after all the recent Fanime drama, I'm actually now comfortable with who I get to go to with.
Because Jk's staying in our hotel room, and so is, Lw, and Ag, and maybe even Ek. I'm actually excited now for the Fanime weekend, heh. Excited may be the wrong word for it though. "Joyful sadness" may be a better, although that's, it's not really a word. It's sad because, although I know I'll be having the time of my life, spending it with people who've stuck with me for so long (in High school times, 2 full years is a lot), I know that it's going to be one of the last things we'll be spending time together, ever again.
I mean, just spending time today, driving me and Ag to the convention center in 40-minute traffic, to finding a place to park, to walking to the convention center from where we parked, to scrambling to find where we get our passes, to driving back, driving to get dinner with her friend, to driving everybody home and ending with me, late at night, driving by myself home after it all.
And this whole realization finally hit me, only today, after all of that, along with Ag informing me about how Kt still talks shit about me. I know that people who do know me, know that what's she saying about me is very off. I inquired Ag about some of the details about the kind of shit she was saying, and that included her saying how I was shallow, how I broke up with her over text, how I'm thirsty as fuck for her, how, I wanted her for her body. And I know, that people who do know won't believe her on all the shit that she's saying. 'Cause all of it's pretty much off.
This portion of this post was edited on June 3, 2017. I removed it because deep down I know that I hold true to myself and what I wrote down, was not true to myself. What I wrote down before was just putting myself down, and I didn't really believe it, so I removed it. This is probably the only edit I will or have ever done, to this caliber, to a past post.
And I know that I said I'd never talk about her again, that I should not even care what she does, that I won't be dwelling on this all any longer. And I'm not, I'm not dwelling, seriously. I've been doing my own shit this whole time. I'm talking about this now because that's what sparked me to think about myself and what I was doing. It sparked me to think about all of this, to think about the people who've supported me over all this time, that they're going to be gone for a majority of the rest of my life, and maybe not even a majority, but forever. Spending time with Ag today and knowing that she's going to be a 4-hour drive away from me in a few months, it's hard to take in.
Yes, luckily the cast and I will still be in the state. But keeping these memories over the course of time, unless we all really feel, cherish this bond enough to not forget about each other in the midst of moving on from this chapter in our lives, it's gonna be difficult. And even then, if we do agree, promise and cross our hearts to group up again to spend another adventure together, coordinating and finding the time for it is going to be difficult. Finding the time to meet up, it's not mental, and it's not emotional. It's something physical, and compared to emotional and mental things, changing the physicality of things is even more difficult or even impossible.
So, yeah, that's how I feel about it all. I'll delve into this all a bit later, because I really need to work on this math project, heh. As well as hype myself up for the hotel stay with a majority of the cast this weekend for Fanime. Oh boy. It's 1:16 AM, see ya.
Week: 42
Songs to Remember: Redbone - Childish Gambino, Stars On 45 - Stars On 45
Ya'll asked for it. I kinda asked for it myself. Although it is 11:41 PM, I'm not tired. Because this time, it's more emotional than it is physical feeling.
In order to keep some integrity with this whole thing (or what's left anyways), I'll be keeping things honest and, unfiltered, so as to fully reflect upon, how I'm feeling right now. Today was a rather fun day. Minus doing nothing in Dance, nothing in math, nothing in Digital Art, listening in English, nothing in Econ, and taking the final (with assistance from built-in Google Translate) in Chinese, I enjoyed it. The stuff after, of course.
I asked Ag to help me get my yearbook early after school, for there was a really, really long line when I got there. I went home and waited on Tm's reply if he would be willing to get his Fanime badge today with me. He was busy, and so I asked Ag. I asked Ag if she would be going for the weekend, and so far it's a yes from her parents, for both the hotel and the Fanime weekend. In fact, umm, after all the recent Fanime drama, I'm actually now comfortable with who I get to go to with.
Because Jk's staying in our hotel room, and so is, Lw, and Ag, and maybe even Ek. I'm actually excited now for the Fanime weekend, heh. Excited may be the wrong word for it though. "Joyful sadness" may be a better, although that's, it's not really a word. It's sad because, although I know I'll be having the time of my life, spending it with people who've stuck with me for so long (in High school times, 2 full years is a lot), I know that it's going to be one of the last things we'll be spending time together, ever again.
I mean, just spending time today, driving me and Ag to the convention center in 40-minute traffic, to finding a place to park, to walking to the convention center from where we parked, to scrambling to find where we get our passes, to driving back, driving to get dinner with her friend, to driving everybody home and ending with me, late at night, driving by myself home after it all.
And this whole realization finally hit me, only today, after all of that, along with Ag informing me about how Kt still talks shit about me. I know that people who do know me, know that what's she saying about me is very off. I inquired Ag about some of the details about the kind of shit she was saying, and that included her saying how I was shallow, how I broke up with her over text, how I'm thirsty as fuck for her, how, I wanted her for her body. And I know, that people who do know won't believe her on all the shit that she's saying. 'Cause all of it's pretty much off.
This portion of this post was edited on June 3, 2017. I removed it because deep down I know that I hold true to myself and what I wrote down, was not true to myself. What I wrote down before was just putting myself down, and I didn't really believe it, so I removed it. This is probably the only edit I will or have ever done, to this caliber, to a past post.
And I know that I said I'd never talk about her again, that I should not even care what she does, that I won't be dwelling on this all any longer. And I'm not, I'm not dwelling, seriously. I've been doing my own shit this whole time. I'm talking about this now because that's what sparked me to think about myself and what I was doing. It sparked me to think about all of this, to think about the people who've supported me over all this time, that they're going to be gone for a majority of the rest of my life, and maybe not even a majority, but forever. Spending time with Ag today and knowing that she's going to be a 4-hour drive away from me in a few months, it's hard to take in.
Yes, luckily the cast and I will still be in the state. But keeping these memories over the course of time, unless we all really feel, cherish this bond enough to not forget about each other in the midst of moving on from this chapter in our lives, it's gonna be difficult. And even then, if we do agree, promise and cross our hearts to group up again to spend another adventure together, coordinating and finding the time for it is going to be difficult. Finding the time to meet up, it's not mental, and it's not emotional. It's something physical, and compared to emotional and mental things, changing the physicality of things is even more difficult or even impossible.
So, yeah, that's how I feel about it all. I'll delve into this all a bit later, because I really need to work on this math project, heh. As well as hype myself up for the hotel stay with a majority of the cast this weekend for Fanime. Oh boy. It's 1:16 AM, see ya.
Wednesday, May 24, 2017
Wednesday, May 24, 2017 "Very Dancey."
Wednesday, May 24, 2017
Week: 42
Songs to Remember: Plz Don't Be Sad - HIGHLIGHT, Very Very Very - I.O.I, Better When I'm Dancing - Meghan Trainor
It's been a while since I wrote on my phone. I'm actually in math right now, and after looking at the clock and seeing that only 9 minutes had passed, I was like "Yeahhh, this is gonna be a long 49 minutes. I'll at least try to get something done."
So tonight I'll be getting home by about 9:00 PM. I can, go out and hang out and eat or whatever, but I got a math project to do, as well as a movie to compile. It's actually not that much, as long as I can stay awake. A general update on things, uhh, my room's a mess, I, haven't really had the time or chance to clean it because of, everything. I got two more dance recitals shows, both of which are today, fortunately and unfortunately. Fortunately that means no more worrying about dance (Dance class that is), and unfortunately that means, two shows in one day. Umm, I have to say I am not at the healthiest I can be right now. Pretty malnourished, sometimes dehydrated, the, that water-challenge commitment is pretty much out the window after recent stuff.
I edited my grad pictures, ready to be printed when I get the chance to. I got my music videos edited, I, the Fanime situation is still a mystery. Tomorrow I'll be driving there after school with Tm to pick up our badges. And then, maybe pick up my grad photo-cards so then I can pass 'em out Friday, of which, will be the first day of Fanime. It's weird 'cause things are pretty much planned out, but at the same time, are still unclear.
Anyways, I'm home now, it's 10:45 PM, aaand, just finished day 2, of the dance recital. There was not one, but two, shows today. And uh, yeah, very tired, was fun though, interacting with everybody. I spent most of it with Ei and Al, the juniors in Hip-hop, as well as Hk and Sc. Pretty fun, as well as tiring. I will now start or, continue doing the Othello video, and then, sleep.
I'll maybe write about it all more, tomorrow. See ya.
Week: 42
Songs to Remember: Plz Don't Be Sad - HIGHLIGHT, Very Very Very - I.O.I, Better When I'm Dancing - Meghan Trainor
It's been a while since I wrote on my phone. I'm actually in math right now, and after looking at the clock and seeing that only 9 minutes had passed, I was like "Yeahhh, this is gonna be a long 49 minutes. I'll at least try to get something done."
So tonight I'll be getting home by about 9:00 PM. I can, go out and hang out and eat or whatever, but I got a math project to do, as well as a movie to compile. It's actually not that much, as long as I can stay awake. A general update on things, uhh, my room's a mess, I, haven't really had the time or chance to clean it because of, everything. I got two more dance recitals shows, both of which are today, fortunately and unfortunately. Fortunately that means no more worrying about dance (Dance class that is), and unfortunately that means, two shows in one day. Umm, I have to say I am not at the healthiest I can be right now. Pretty malnourished, sometimes dehydrated, the, that water-challenge commitment is pretty much out the window after recent stuff.
I edited my grad pictures, ready to be printed when I get the chance to. I got my music videos edited, I, the Fanime situation is still a mystery. Tomorrow I'll be driving there after school with Tm to pick up our badges. And then, maybe pick up my grad photo-cards so then I can pass 'em out Friday, of which, will be the first day of Fanime. It's weird 'cause things are pretty much planned out, but at the same time, are still unclear.
Anyways, I'm home now, it's 10:45 PM, aaand, just finished day 2, of the dance recital. There was not one, but two, shows today. And uh, yeah, very tired, was fun though, interacting with everybody. I spent most of it with Ei and Al, the juniors in Hip-hop, as well as Hk and Sc. Pretty fun, as well as tiring. I will now start or, continue doing the Othello video, and then, sleep.
I'll maybe write about it all more, tomorrow. See ya.
Tuesday, May 23, 2017 "Recital."
Tuesday, May 23, 2017
Week: 42
Songs to Remember: Press Your Number - Taemin, Obsession - Boyfriend
I was here at school from 8:00 AM to 9:00 PM. Now although that's pretty much the same time as other KDT school shows, this one involved a lot more movement.
I'm talking about, changing like, 5 times, and dancing out there for a full total of about 8 minutes or so. Doesn't seem like lot, but when you're rushing to get changed and whatever, it does feel like a lot. So besides the lackluster school day (except for maybe Dance and math. For Dance, we were in the theater practicing and running our dances, while in math, the teacher cooked us pancakes, live, in class. And yeah, they were good. Still doesn't make me like Calculus any more than I do right now, heh), after school was where it was all at.
A rehearsal of the beginning without music, and then a full costume runthrough. The show was about 15 or 20 dances in total. Umm, 2 hours long, I was in 5 dances: the opening number, my class' tap dance, Sc's dance, my class' Hip-hop dance, and finally my dance. They weren't consecutive by the way, it was like, our tap dance, and then a couple of other people's dances, from different periods, and then it was Sc's dance, and then so on.
It was basically, you dance, you rush out to change, come back in and get ready for the next dance that you're in, or relax if it's like, 10 dances away on the list. After our full show run-through, we got an hour break. Me and Sc had thought that a group in our dance class would be going to a Korean BBQ place nearby, but they were actually just kidding, heh, and so we (Sc and I) ended up going to In 'n' Out by ourselves.
This was one of the rare moments now where I had the time to think, to feel my mentality again, feel my emotions again. Sc asked to read her messaging conversation with this guy who messaged her a couple weeks ago, to ask me for my opinion, a dude's opinion, if he's into her. I read it, seemed, alright, and I was like "Yeah, you should drop some more hints, seems mostly casual for now." She's like "Every time, it always ends up bad for me." And that's unfortunately true, and I do feel sorry for her. She puts in all this effort, all this trust, etc, into somebody, and they, turn their back on her. I mean, even for prom, Jv, who was her date, she told me he went off a lot of the time, to his friends, and leaving her be for quite a bit.
It's kinda pointless to think "what if's" now, but it does happen from time to time when you find out things like this. Anyways, we got back to school, Uber'd, back to school, we got dressed and got ready for the show to start. Pretty much all of the dancers were very accomodative. It coul be that the people who take Dance class are, yeah, but I don't know. The atmosphere was very lively, happy, and just positive in general. The show went by, smoothly. Not really any major problems. And of course, I did get to see from fellow KDT underclass-men, who are also taking Dance and therefore are in the recital.
There was also some guest appearances by Tu and Th, who were there in the audience to watch, and who I got to meet after the show. Overall not too bad. The show, that is. There are some conflicts that I have yet to resolve. Such as, but not limited to: the Fanime group situation. Jk left the group, you know, with DrewH and Cc and yeah, and is instead just going with Ek and Lw, who are going the whole weekend. Currently it's a big mess that's more to do with blowing things out of proportion, as well as not trying to be rude. Hopefully things resolve on their own 'cause right now, it's kinda a big mess that I do not want to delve into.
In other problems, it turns out that my group member did not do the Othello final video, at all. She just made a folder on Google Drive for it, which was named "Othello Final Video." I received an email that she shared it with me, as well as asking the group-chat if it should be uploaded to Drive, YouTube, and or USB. And so, that made me think it was done, but in actuality, it's not. And yes, I am the one who must do it, if I want that A, to keep my solid C, floating. The debate here is whether I should sleep now and do it tomorrow night, the day before it's due, or try it tonight, where I really am exhausted from spending 13 hours on school grounds.
Same goes for the math project, however for that I have an extra day on. I also have to print out grad pictures to hand out, receive orders on who wants one, aaand upload my dance music videos. Anyways, we'll see whether I decide to attempt to get some rest of fully commit to working. It's 1:22 AM, see ya.
Week: 42
Songs to Remember: Press Your Number - Taemin, Obsession - Boyfriend
I was here at school from 8:00 AM to 9:00 PM. Now although that's pretty much the same time as other KDT school shows, this one involved a lot more movement.
I'm talking about, changing like, 5 times, and dancing out there for a full total of about 8 minutes or so. Doesn't seem like lot, but when you're rushing to get changed and whatever, it does feel like a lot. So besides the lackluster school day (except for maybe Dance and math. For Dance, we were in the theater practicing and running our dances, while in math, the teacher cooked us pancakes, live, in class. And yeah, they were good. Still doesn't make me like Calculus any more than I do right now, heh), after school was where it was all at.
A rehearsal of the beginning without music, and then a full costume runthrough. The show was about 15 or 20 dances in total. Umm, 2 hours long, I was in 5 dances: the opening number, my class' tap dance, Sc's dance, my class' Hip-hop dance, and finally my dance. They weren't consecutive by the way, it was like, our tap dance, and then a couple of other people's dances, from different periods, and then it was Sc's dance, and then so on.
It was basically, you dance, you rush out to change, come back in and get ready for the next dance that you're in, or relax if it's like, 10 dances away on the list. After our full show run-through, we got an hour break. Me and Sc had thought that a group in our dance class would be going to a Korean BBQ place nearby, but they were actually just kidding, heh, and so we (Sc and I) ended up going to In 'n' Out by ourselves.
This was one of the rare moments now where I had the time to think, to feel my mentality again, feel my emotions again. Sc asked to read her messaging conversation with this guy who messaged her a couple weeks ago, to ask me for my opinion, a dude's opinion, if he's into her. I read it, seemed, alright, and I was like "Yeah, you should drop some more hints, seems mostly casual for now." She's like "Every time, it always ends up bad for me." And that's unfortunately true, and I do feel sorry for her. She puts in all this effort, all this trust, etc, into somebody, and they, turn their back on her. I mean, even for prom, Jv, who was her date, she told me he went off a lot of the time, to his friends, and leaving her be for quite a bit.
It's kinda pointless to think "what if's" now, but it does happen from time to time when you find out things like this. Anyways, we got back to school, Uber'd, back to school, we got dressed and got ready for the show to start. Pretty much all of the dancers were very accomodative. It coul be that the people who take Dance class are, yeah, but I don't know. The atmosphere was very lively, happy, and just positive in general. The show went by, smoothly. Not really any major problems. And of course, I did get to see from fellow KDT underclass-men, who are also taking Dance and therefore are in the recital.
There was also some guest appearances by Tu and Th, who were there in the audience to watch, and who I got to meet after the show. Overall not too bad. The show, that is. There are some conflicts that I have yet to resolve. Such as, but not limited to: the Fanime group situation. Jk left the group, you know, with DrewH and Cc and yeah, and is instead just going with Ek and Lw, who are going the whole weekend. Currently it's a big mess that's more to do with blowing things out of proportion, as well as not trying to be rude. Hopefully things resolve on their own 'cause right now, it's kinda a big mess that I do not want to delve into.
In other problems, it turns out that my group member did not do the Othello final video, at all. She just made a folder on Google Drive for it, which was named "Othello Final Video." I received an email that she shared it with me, as well as asking the group-chat if it should be uploaded to Drive, YouTube, and or USB. And so, that made me think it was done, but in actuality, it's not. And yes, I am the one who must do it, if I want that A, to keep my solid C, floating. The debate here is whether I should sleep now and do it tomorrow night, the day before it's due, or try it tonight, where I really am exhausted from spending 13 hours on school grounds.
Same goes for the math project, however for that I have an extra day on. I also have to print out grad pictures to hand out, receive orders on who wants one, aaand upload my dance music videos. Anyways, we'll see whether I decide to attempt to get some rest of fully commit to working. It's 1:22 AM, see ya.
Tuesday, May 23, 2017
Monday, May 22, 2017 "Nap Myself to Sleep."
Monday, May 22, 2017
Week: 42
Songs to Remember: Movie - BTOB
Yeah I knew I forgot something. This post.
Week: 42
Songs to Remember: Movie - BTOB
Yeah I knew I forgot something. This post.
Sunday, May 21, 2017
Sunday, May 21, 2017 "Press My Work."
Sunday, May 21, 2017
Week: 41
Week: 41
Songs to Remember: Press Your Number - Taemin
These past few days, I have not had time for emotions. All of it had been physical really. And there was no real time to think.
It was just, casual, as casual as it could be. Nothing real serious, which, is a nice flip from all the recent, just everything. Still, I still do end up tired by the end of the day. Not tired emotionally, or mentally, but more so physically, heh. Anyways, let's go over what's happened these past few days, as well as what's coming in season 42.
Friday, there was the end-of-the-year rally. The whole day was just your average day, besides for this rally. Now these rallies, these end-of-the-year rallies, after having sat through them 3 times before already, they're nothing special. The seniors get to parade down the track while the whole school watches from the bleachers, then we all sit and listen to some awards and watch some performances, with audio coming from still-shitty speakers, in the hot sun.
So, I decided to skip this one. By me I mean, Lw and I. We took refuge in her anatomy teacher's classroom, grading papers and just, relaxed. DrewN was also with us for a bit too. I looked on Snapchat and people were posting pictures of these pink water-bottles that had "Class of 2017" on them. I was like "What the shit, they're giving out free stuff." And with that, Lw, DrewN, and I, we all raced to the baseball field to get our free stuff, and then proceeded (just me and Lw this time) back to the classroom.
There was also KDT practice that day as well. We ran through the Fanime performance a few times, and then the rest of the 2 hours went towards working on our KDT group performances, for ya know, the KDT end performance, at our picnic next week. Not bad, I, I learned a lot. I especially learned, that I need to learn A LOT, of dances, heh, but uh, yeah. Good connecting with Cc, and, Tm, and Jd. Uhhh, yesterday, or, Saturday. That was the road trip with the cast and I, the FULL cast and I, to a city 25 minutes away, in order for us to take some grad pictures.
The location wasn't that great to be honest. It was at a park, where, there was a lot of other people there as well. The real gems in my opinion, were the cities and locations leading up to that park. We passed by Apple headquarters (in our car of course), as well the Netflix headquarters. I was like "What th- holy shit, this, fuck man." Unfortunately we could not stay to visit, because we needed to get home, and it was getting dark.
That was around, from 3:00 PM to 10:00 PM, so, quite a long time, heh. And yes, I was the one driving my car. Jh was driving as well. I was pretty exhausted after it all. The cast (most of ) stayed at my house for a bit. We were supposed to have game-night, but, we were all too exhausted to, do anything. And sleepy.
Today, today I shot my second music video, with Jk helping me, at the local railroad tracks. Other than that, I've just been editing photos, videos. I think I'd be dead had I not find out that one of my group members had already edited a final video for our Othello project. I was like "Oh. Guess, guess I don't have to do it."
This week, as Cc said, will be interesting. I honestly do not know how I will manage my time with, all the shit I gotta do. And it's all ranging from editing, to projects, to bulk work, to dancing. It's, it's a lot. And right now, I don't have much time or, energy, for feelings right now. Really, it's all just been, focusing on what I gotta do soon, or, later, or tomorrow. I'm sure it will hit me once, once the workload gets softened. But for now, it's 10:17 PM. See ya.
Saturday, May 20, 2017 "Trip."
Saturday, May 20, 2017
Week: 41
Songs to Remember: Tunnel Vision - Kodak Black, Slide - Calvin Harris
I'm just going to have tomorrow be a recap day post. I, really do have a lot to do, and I mean a lot. And uh, right now, although it is only 12:25 AM, I am exhausted. More so physically than anything. See ya.
Week: 41
Songs to Remember: Tunnel Vision - Kodak Black, Slide - Calvin Harris
I'm just going to have tomorrow be a recap day post. I, really do have a lot to do, and I mean a lot. And uh, right now, although it is only 12:25 AM, I am exhausted. More so physically than anything. See ya.
Saturday, May 20, 2017
Friday, May 19, 2017 "Cinema."
Friday, May 19, 2017
Week: 41
Songs to Remember: Movie - BTOB, Press Your Number - Taemin
It's scary. It's scary that these last, what? 9 episodes? are mostly just me being too tired to write. And I haven't given up on this.
It's mostly because I do forget about it, until I come home and find that it's like, 1:00 AM, and there's a shit-ton to write about. Like I said before, it's amazing that I am enjoying these last few days with people who care about me. I'm having so much fun that I forget, to write about it all, or that I'm too tired from all the fun to write a lot.
And it's scary because that's, good. Like, it's scary good. But a part pf me also doesn't want all this work, this commitment, of detailing it all (or mostly) for the future. Since I don't have any obligation to wake up early tomorrow, I can at least write what was done today, tomorrow. And then most likely continue/ start tomorrow's real post, in the post after. Because there is A LOT, to detail, both physically, like, in-action stuff, as well as, mental and emotional stuff. Which so far, I'm kinda underestimating. I'm putting my emotional and mental stuff down.
My mental and emotional state, they're pretty good right now. And I've been putting them down so much, because of past stuff, as well as uncertainties in the future. And it is, without a doubt, scary, to think about. I'm still keeping my hopes at a medium, in case the worst happens and I won't get disappointed, or the best happens, and I get the thrill of a lifetime. Anyways, it's 2:56 AM, see ya.
Week: 41
Songs to Remember: Movie - BTOB, Press Your Number - Taemin
It's scary. It's scary that these last, what? 9 episodes? are mostly just me being too tired to write. And I haven't given up on this.
It's mostly because I do forget about it, until I come home and find that it's like, 1:00 AM, and there's a shit-ton to write about. Like I said before, it's amazing that I am enjoying these last few days with people who care about me. I'm having so much fun that I forget, to write about it all, or that I'm too tired from all the fun to write a lot.
And it's scary because that's, good. Like, it's scary good. But a part pf me also doesn't want all this work, this commitment, of detailing it all (or mostly) for the future. Since I don't have any obligation to wake up early tomorrow, I can at least write what was done today, tomorrow. And then most likely continue/ start tomorrow's real post, in the post after. Because there is A LOT, to detail, both physically, like, in-action stuff, as well as, mental and emotional stuff. Which so far, I'm kinda underestimating. I'm putting my emotional and mental stuff down.
My mental and emotional state, they're pretty good right now. And I've been putting them down so much, because of past stuff, as well as uncertainties in the future. And it is, without a doubt, scary, to think about. I'm still keeping my hopes at a medium, in case the worst happens and I won't get disappointed, or the best happens, and I get the thrill of a lifetime. Anyways, it's 2:56 AM, see ya.
Friday, May 19, 2017
Thursday, May 18, 2017 "What is Slow in Vegas."
Thursday, May 18, 2017
Week: 41
Songs to Remember: Pretty - Nu'est
It's 4:06 AM, and Sony Vegas is being an ass right now. You already know what I'm getting at. Sleep. See ya.
Week: 41
Songs to Remember: Pretty - Nu'est
It's 4:06 AM, and Sony Vegas is being an ass right now. You already know what I'm getting at. Sleep. See ya.
Thursday, May 18, 2017
Wednesday, May 17, 2017 "Introduce Me to the Night."
Wednesday, May 17, 2017
Week: 41
Songs to Remember: Issues - Julia Michaels, How R U - Airplane, I'm Sorry - Nu'est, Pretty - Nu'est
Now the downside with me spending this much time out late at night is that I end up too tired to really write much detail.
Besides the usual day (really, nothing really done or was out of the ordinary in any of my classes. It really is pointless to attend class anymore since I do not do anything), I arrived home (after a haircut, probably my most favorite since as far as I can remember) at 3:00 PM, tried to relax for a it before having to get ready for the bootleg-ass senior awards night.
There was mandatory practice today during 3rd and 4th. The seating was numbered, like, split-alphabetical, so, can't sit next to your friends. We, stood, and sat. Basically it, and uh, not really sure why it was needed but, okay. I drove to school, by myself, at around 5:30 PM after getting ready. Had to arrive there by 5:45 PM, but umm, things went sorta awry, and uh, heh, I got there at like 6:00 PM. Fortunately for me though, they did not really start anything until about 6:30 PM or 6:45 PM, so I was good.
I stood in line next to this one girl whom I knew before-hand, online, on Facebook, and through mutuals. Never really talked to her, at all, ever, but I knew her. She's been to KDT practices for her friends, never really participated in the practices, just, watched. And so, she knows me I guess, from online, as well as KDT practices. It was a long time standing in line aaand, I did want to say something, so that we can talk and pass the time.
But you know me, heh, although I do like to take risks and do whatever, shit like this still gets to me. Luckily, she initiated and said she liked my hair (at this point it's kinda like a neopolitan mess with blonde, pink, and a hint of blue). I thanked her and she continued with "You're from KDT right," and then that fell into talks about classes, Korean class, K-Pop groups, current stuff, etc. Went pretty well.
We finally got into the gym and sat down at around 7:30 PM. It was like, 140 seniors or something, maybe a bit more, a bit less. 140 that showed up, that is, to the awards shit. You sit, you wait for your name to be called so you can walk up, hear them announce the shit you've earned, shake hands with the principal and a school-board member, pose for a picture, and sit back down. I was actually falling asleep during the first hour or so. It was, godamn, heh. But it was nice seeing a little overview of my class and, who's going where and whatnot.
For me, I uh, I got the gold chord, which is for having a GPA of 3.25 or higher (weighted too). Approximately 90% of the people there got it so, nothing special. I got a gold seal or some shit, which will be on my diploma. I think that's for 3.5 GPA or higher. And uh, one other award for which I do not know what.
Umm, so yeah, 2 hours of that, surprisingly it did end at 9:00 PM as they stated. At this point, it was me, Lw, and Ek, in my car. We called up Jk and Ag and they were down to go get some milk tea. I picked them up, I stopped at Safeway 'cause I needed dinner, so we got chicken wings, aaand, I got myself some bootleg DIY lunchables. Not bad, very high in sodium, but not bad. Drove to the milk tea place outside my house, and then, the cast (so for this time, it was just me, Jk, Ag, Lw, and Ek) stayed at my house until about 12:00 AM. We played some games of "One Night Ultimate Werewolf" again, ate, aaand, then I drove 'em home. Driving at night is only a smidgen harder than driving during the day in my opinion. The downside: you can barely see shit. The upside though, there's less traffic. So there you go, Drew, you're, you're independancing.
My parents did not go to the ceremony, but, I came home to see the paper program, so, apparently they did go. Which makes me wonder if they followed me to see how I drove at night. Anyways, it's been a long, long day. I got, another long one tomorrow, plus Friday, and Saturday. Lots, lots of, outside work, outside as in, I'm able to work on things, only outside of class. But yeah, it's 1:33 AM, I am beat, see ya.
Now the downside with me spending this much time out late at night is that I end up too tired to really write much detail.
Besides the usual day (really, nothing really done or was out of the ordinary in any of my classes. It really is pointless to attend class anymore since I do not do anything), I arrived home (after a haircut, probably my most favorite since as far as I can remember) at 3:00 PM, tried to relax for a it before having to get ready for the bootleg-ass senior awards night.
There was mandatory practice today during 3rd and 4th. The seating was numbered, like, split-alphabetical, so, can't sit next to your friends. We, stood, and sat. Basically it, and uh, not really sure why it was needed but, okay. I drove to school, by myself, at around 5:30 PM after getting ready. Had to arrive there by 5:45 PM, but umm, things went sorta awry, and uh, heh, I got there at like 6:00 PM. Fortunately for me though, they did not really start anything until about 6:30 PM or 6:45 PM, so I was good.
I stood in line next to this one girl whom I knew before-hand, online, on Facebook, and through mutuals. Never really talked to her, at all, ever, but I knew her. She's been to KDT practices for her friends, never really participated in the practices, just, watched. And so, she knows me I guess, from online, as well as KDT practices. It was a long time standing in line aaand, I did want to say something, so that we can talk and pass the time.
But you know me, heh, although I do like to take risks and do whatever, shit like this still gets to me. Luckily, she initiated and said she liked my hair (at this point it's kinda like a neopolitan mess with blonde, pink, and a hint of blue). I thanked her and she continued with "You're from KDT right," and then that fell into talks about classes, Korean class, K-Pop groups, current stuff, etc. Went pretty well.
We finally got into the gym and sat down at around 7:30 PM. It was like, 140 seniors or something, maybe a bit more, a bit less. 140 that showed up, that is, to the awards shit. You sit, you wait for your name to be called so you can walk up, hear them announce the shit you've earned, shake hands with the principal and a school-board member, pose for a picture, and sit back down. I was actually falling asleep during the first hour or so. It was, godamn, heh. But it was nice seeing a little overview of my class and, who's going where and whatnot.
For me, I uh, I got the gold chord, which is for having a GPA of 3.25 or higher (weighted too). Approximately 90% of the people there got it so, nothing special. I got a gold seal or some shit, which will be on my diploma. I think that's for 3.5 GPA or higher. And uh, one other award for which I do not know what.
Umm, so yeah, 2 hours of that, surprisingly it did end at 9:00 PM as they stated. At this point, it was me, Lw, and Ek, in my car. We called up Jk and Ag and they were down to go get some milk tea. I picked them up, I stopped at Safeway 'cause I needed dinner, so we got chicken wings, aaand, I got myself some bootleg DIY lunchables. Not bad, very high in sodium, but not bad. Drove to the milk tea place outside my house, and then, the cast (so for this time, it was just me, Jk, Ag, Lw, and Ek) stayed at my house until about 12:00 AM. We played some games of "One Night Ultimate Werewolf" again, ate, aaand, then I drove 'em home. Driving at night is only a smidgen harder than driving during the day in my opinion. The downside: you can barely see shit. The upside though, there's less traffic. So there you go, Drew, you're, you're independancing.
My parents did not go to the ceremony, but, I came home to see the paper program, so, apparently they did go. Which makes me wonder if they followed me to see how I drove at night. Anyways, it's been a long, long day. I got, another long one tomorrow, plus Friday, and Saturday. Lots, lots of, outside work, outside as in, I'm able to work on things, only outside of class. But yeah, it's 1:33 AM, I am beat, see ya.
Wednesday, May 17, 2017
Tuesday, May 16, 2017 "Guiltulative."
Tuesday, May 16, 2017
Week: 41
Songs to Remember: For Real (진짜를 꺼내봐) - OVAN (오반), Drawing the Line - Royal Pirates,
Nope, it's just Tuesday, and yes, it is 12:03 AM. I only now realized that, since there ain't gonna be anymore seasons or pre-seasons after next next week, that means the series will be ending on season 43.
So I got some work done today. Got some design finished, got some bits and pieces of work done. Still got a lot though. These days I've just been way too tired. There's just been so much that's happened the past couple months, there's still so much that's yet to happen or are going to happen these few weeks.
In terms of, events outside of school that is. 'Course school events too, but. Coursework, I should say, is, really nothing at this point. I mean, in Chinese, we've literally ran out of stuff to do. We've already done our final as well so, nothing really to prepare for. Same goes math, and uh, yeah.
Okay so I was gonna end this post here but there's actually some stuff I can talk about now, I just remembered. Today, there's been some drama, some, really, necessary drama. I told Jk about how me, Cc, Tm, and Cc's friend (KDT member, he was only in the Lunar Show performance and that was it). Her friend actually added me on Facebook yesterday. It was kinda out of nowhere but I was like "Alright." He asked me how things were going and I was like "It's been alright." And then he's like "So I heard you and Cathy are gonna be sharing a hotel room. Do you have any extra room for one more?"
And I'm thinking like "tsk, BOI." Like, heh, I mean alright. Now I didn't mention this before but there's been some conflict, some under-ground conflict, between him and DrewH. DrewH and him, we'll, actually I think I gave him a name before. It was like, Xn, or something. We'll just use that for now. So, him and Xn, they're, they've both been trying to get at Cathy for a while now. I know because of, DrewH's snapchat stories. I also asked him about a something that he shared on Snapchat, and he gave me access to read this one anecdotal story he wrote with the names "censored out," buuuut, it was pretty obvious who the characters were, heh.
And he really hates Xn too. Like, really hates him. I know because, he made some lists that were posted on his Snapchat story, detailing some of the dislikes that DrewH has for Xn. Some, err, more so, most, was pretty just plain mean, mean things. Uhhh, yeah, so there's the backstory on that. Anyways, Xn asks if he can join in on the hotel stuff and uh, I asked Cc if she was alright with it and she was like "I'm fine with anything," so I was like "Alright," and gave him the okay. Well, today, I uh, told Jk about my Fanime plans, he inadvertently told DrewH about the Fanime plans (I don't think he knows about Xn staying in the hotel room with us, so that's good), and uh, DrewH told Cc that he's not going to Fanime anymore.
So now there's this whole dilema, with words being tossed around, details, all between me, Jk, Cc, DrewH, and Xn. Xn's asking me like "Can you help a brotha out" and like, Jk's helping Cc keep tabs on DrewH's actions, DrewH ain't responding to Cc's responses over text, and, it's just, all stemming from DrewH really. From Cc and Xn and Jk's details, DrewH got some people to try to guilt her into like, begging or asking DrewH to re-think his decision on not going to Fanime. And that's, where my personal input comes in.
When Cc told me that DrewH is getting people to guilt-trip her and shit to get her to beg him to go and shit, that made me feel bad. I thought to myself "Aw fuck, that's, kinda what I did too." I did not know that, what I did before, with the whole, you-know, situation, wasn't actually going in the direction where I wanted it to. It veered off and instead, just, made somebody feel bad, worried, etc. It wasn't, improving, my situation, it was lowering hers. And in the end? Shit still didn't go the way I wanted things to.
Shit like this kind of manipulation, I would now suggest to, not try it. On the off-chance that it works, hey, good for you. But really it's, just shady stuff. You first have to consider the other person's existing feelings, and then how all of that would affect them. You gotta, ask yourself "What if this was done to me, with me already feeling blah blah etc, how would I feel after?" So yeah, if there's something that I did wrong, another, mistake, that I made in that all, it was definitely the manipulation part. If there's any justification at all (which there never should be), it was the detail given to me that mutuals and outside sources had an impact on it all.
But anyways, back to this situation. Cc feels like she doesn't know what to do. I reassured her that she's not obligated to do anything and that really, this is all stemming from DrewH. If he chooses to not to go, that's his decision. He just has to put aside the fact that just one, single person he dislikes, is going to the same location as he is, nearing the person he appreciates. And it does seem that he cares about Cc, but from Cc's detailing, it's kinda just controlling at points, and is he's just being, immature. Manipulative at times, like this, to get his way.
From her recollection, this ain't the first time. Back in October, he did the same exact thing, and only because Xn was going to be going with them. Shit's, he's getting on her nerves, from what Cc told me. All this is just stemming from one person, and yes, this is unecessary. All of this. Like, it was all going well, Cc was feeling all good today, and then after that she was just, ehhhh. It's, unfortunate, that these things happen, and like, even Cc's trying to talk to him about it, like, ask the reasons behind some the shit, but so far he has not responded or from Jk's intel, he doesn't want to talk.
So it's just like ??? Like, the Nick Young face. Anyways, hopefully time will, make things, change minds. It's 1:07 AM, I'm tired, see ya.
Tuesday, May 16, 2017
Monday, May 15, 2017 "Give Me Time."
Monday, May 15, 2017
Week: 41
Songs to Remember: Drawing the Line - Royal Pirates, Better When I'm Dancing - Meghan Trainor
I am so, so, so, so, so, so, so short, on time. I so many deadlines to meet, it's, crazy. And shit just keeps on stacking and stacking, I am not allowed one-second of slacking off.
Another overview of what I gotta do and finish this week or next week: math project, editing a tutorial video for how I make my mixes, edit my group's Othello film video for English, create some logos for this K-Pop logo contest, memorize dances (5 for Dance class, 1 for the KDT Fanime performance, and 4 for the KDT picnic, and 2 for my music video edits), plan out location and time for grad photos, plan out the trip and who's staying for the Fanime weekend, Dance recital practices plus performances next week, writing out a script for what I wanna say at the KDT picnic, as well as the usual work of other classes on top of all that.
Now it may not seem like a lot, but having all that within the constraint of this week and next week, there's not breathing room. At all. I mean I barely got work done today. There is so much shit that comes up that I, I can't keep up with. Like today for example, I had to go to one of my group member's house again to wrap up filming our stupid Othello movie project. But oh whadya know, today just happens to be a day for KDT practice, as usual but, also, after school, there's an opening-number practice for the seniors for Dance class.
So I had to miss KDT practice, as well as 45 minutes of filming time. Tomorrow hopefully there'll be no interruptions. Wednesday, oh boy, there's fucking, MORNING practice, for those in senior awards night. Then, the awards night starts at 7:00 PM, meaning, I get like, no time to work at home on these fucking videos. I have, I've yet to practice the dances I'll be doing for my music video edits I'll be shooting at the grad photo trip with the cast this Saturday. Still, still figuring stuff out on plans for Fanime because things are still yet to be set in stone. Thursday, I gotta get some videos and photo-editing done. I gotta prepare the ending to the series with planning out what I'ma say, info, etc. Gather pictures, umm, just.
I'd just really like some sleep, right now, because I am still falling asleep in some classes. And this just, there's no way, I can soak in these last couple weeks of being in High school, being this naive, this care-free, this, imagining of a television series. I can't do all that fully, with all this hanging over my head. It's insane. There's probably even more shit I gotta remember to do before deadlines but, it's slipping my mind right now. Seriously, I gotta, rush. And, I'ma have to sacrifice some more sleep.
IT'S FUCKING INSANE. For my at least, because I do not recall any other time where I got this many deadlines all at once. But yeah, it's 12:44 AM right now, I think I'll call it a night. Hopefully a good chunk of whatever gets done tomorrow. See ya. Also something to note: I do not enjoy the song "Better When You're Dancing," it's just stuck in my head right now from hearing it over and over again today in Dance class, and so that's making me like it. You get what I mean. Anyways, see ya.
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