Monday, March 13, 2017 "Oh, my, god."

Monday, March 13, 2017

Week: 32

Songs to Remember: That's What I Like - Bruno Mars, Girlfriend - Big Bang, Take It (선택해) - MVP (엠브이피)

        My best remedy right now is sleep, because I've been awake for too long. I've STAYED WOKE FOR TOO LONG.

        Besides pointless school work (currently it is pointless, there's nothing much I can do, my grades have been stabilized for a while now), uhhh, there's some more shit going down. So besides the deadlines I've talked about yesterday, nothing much new.

        Except the fact that Kt asked me to date her, and it went a little something like this. She held my hand, we were side by side, near the under-stairs of the L-building, during KDT practice during break time, and, she was like "Wanna hear a joke?" I'm like "Sure I guess" and she's like "Knock knock" and I'm like "Who's there" and she's like "Date me." I was like "That did not sound like a very good joke."

        I'm just there thinking like "Oh, my, god" Kinda like how that one dad said in the movie "Big Fat Liar," when Marty was at the kid's birthday party. And I did proceed with caution, as always. I was like "Hmmm, gonna need some time to think about it." She's like "How long do you need" and I'm like "Hmm, gimme like an hour, or, maybe 'till 5:30 PM." Fortunately it worked out. It allowed me to recollect my thoughts, allowed my, my KDT buddies to express what they thought of everything, especially Rh, Ln, and Bp.

        I had, basically no determination in learning the dance today, just, just wanted to get home and, think it all out. During practice, however, because I told Kt that I needed time, apparently she got pissed about that, about that very rational request, and told Cc "What a dick. He said he needs time to think about it." And like, Cc told Ln and Bp and, like, and then they told me, and I'm just like "Oh, my, god."

        Usually I don't give a fuck what people call me, it's the reason, for calling me shit, that pisses me off. Kt's reason was just, absurd. I was really ready to go off on her. At home, i carefully compiled a nice, philosophical message of questions, asking why she would call such a positive person who has done nothing at all wrong, a dick." Luckily I did not go through with it all. I thought it all over, I talked to Cc about it (talked to her on Snap for like, the entire day basically, only because she's my only recon for this situation I'm in 'cause Kt trusts her and keeps on ranting to her about everything going between me and her, good or bad, so, it's Kt's fault that Cc's involved in all this, heh).

        And uh, decided that, the best possible outcome for anybody here, is for me to just, go with it. She's gonna break up with me eventually, there's no doubt about that. So, instead of creating catastrophe at this instant when things are still rocky, I'll just play along. The worst is that I get too attached and she pops me, but fortunately I ain't feeling shit right now, so, can't, can't really get hurt at what you can't feel.

        The series dance movie can really go either ways, or, any ways really, and, it's, it's my fault it's heading down this path. The path of, as my Discord fam says it, hit it and quit it. Not the ending I'd choose, but it's an ending nonetheless. Okay not ending, but, ending experience-ish. You get what I mean. I'd compare this to a uh, choose-your-own-adventure book. And I guess this is what I've chosen.

        You can call me a dramaqueen, I agree that I do stir up drama, although not as much as some other people that I know. And uh, yeah I deserve this I guess. I asked, I received. This'll just be a life lesson: YOU LOOKING FOR A HEART OF GOLD, DREW, OR YOU LOOKING TO HIT IT AND QUIT IT. Anyways, it's 11:03 PM and I really, really need sleep, because my eyes were closed for two periods today. And so, see ya.