Wednesday, August 5, 2015 "Constant Fear of Words."

Wednesday, August 5, 2015
Week: 51
Songs to Remember: Left Out - Legend

        Well, I did the dishes today. 2nd time ever in my life. I also finished writing down little summaries for each chapter of the book, finally. I also managed to get 8 quotes (not sure if they're even significant but fuck it) so tomorrow I'll probably be done with this project.

        And after reading a comment on Reddit, about a guy who censored his swear words, I thought about it. I mean it is the internet, and there's not really a point to censor 'em, because people would know already what you're trying to say. For me, I censor 'em because growing up in an Asian household, curse words aren't necessarily the best things to say around Asian parents.

        I learned to live in fear kinda, of not being able to freely speak my mind, say words that no other words can describe what I'm feeling. So even on the freedom of the internet, I still feel that I should censor 'em. It's like having a big "F***" on the living room TV and my mom sees it, rather than having "FUCK". I just don't feel comfortable seeing it just, blatantly there. That is, until now. I now understand that "Hey, these are literally just words. They don't mean anything unless you put meaning behind them. In reality it's just English jargon".

        Alright, well in other news, I had a dream last night (several) of where I had signed up for a field trip for my 2nd period class, but I didn't think of it and missed 1st period math. When I showed up, I couldn't pick my seat, I didn't know what to do. It's probably not the last dream about school I'm gonna have, I'm guessing there's more where they come from.

        I'm actually progressing through a lot of episodes of Running Man. Up to episode 245 now. My memory's actually been doing better than ever. I found this song that I heard a while ago (Left Out by Legend). I knew the name of the group was like, "Absolute" or something like that. I found one of the their other songs, Lost, the sound was similar, I thought I had found the song, but it wasn't. I then stumbled upon "Left Out" and I was I like "Whadya know? It was that group!"

        I also remember specifically, like days before school started, exactly a year from now (around there), I was Skyping with my cousin, at this exact spot, and I said that I only have like 48 hours before school starts and my cousin said something like "Heh, you're summer's going away by the second!" I can't believe I remember that. Maybe I talked about it in a post a year ago, I don't know. But it's always that Back-to-School nostalgia that gets me.

        Anyways, played a couple games of League, wrote summaries, planned how the rest of the poster's gonna go, gonna get a good night's sleep. This morning I woke up and saw that it was only 8:00 AM. I hit the snooze button like 10 times. That was a good feeling. See ya.