Tuesday, November 22, 2016 "Dissa-pissed Off."

Tuesday, November 22, 2016
Week: 16
Songs to Remember: Hook가 - High4 20, Better Day - 100%

        I was pretty disappointed today, got pretty pissed off. There are times when it's reasonable to get pissed off for a bit and then to just forget about it, but the hard part of it all is forgetting about it. You tell yourself to forget about it and to not mind it, but in turn you just end up strengthening that in your mind, heh.

        Dance was one thing I got pissed off about. It was pretty small to be honest. We had the whole period to learn our dance for presentations. I asked the teacher whether I teach an already-made K-Pop choreo or to do my own. She said it's up to me, but if I do decide to teach a pre-made one, I gotta give credit. And in no universe will I ever want to feel small by giving credit to a large-company or group of people who are ranked high, high, HIGH above me, making millions of more money than me or my family will ever make, combined.

        So it looks like I'll be coming up with my own choreo. During the last 10 minutes of class, we went to the gym to get a feel of where our positions will be for our February rally performance. I knew the choreo, I knew the formations, I've done choreo'd dance performances before, even performed in a rally myself, and onstage. I knew where to stand for this last part of our choreo, it was just that the group opposite of me weren't standing where they were supposed to, which made me stand out and look confused, even though I did know what the fuck was going on.

        Teacher calls me out on it, I'm like "I thought we were supposed to stand in a line, connected." Like, I seriously did not know what the fuck was wrong. She explained to me "Oh, this is where period 6 is going to be, etc, etc." And I just, I just didn't wanna fucking continue with this shit so I just played dumb to get it over with and be like "Ooohh, okay I get it" even though I did know. I just didn't want to waste fucking time, MY fucking time. Then she was like "You're supposed to stand here" and then called the group opposite of me to move over and then said "You were right." Fucking hell I'm right.

        I just wished we can start doing our own choreo's and shit already so I can finally show that I am capable of leading shit myself instead of moping around in a crowd of fucking clowns all the time. Jee-fucking-zus. As you can see, I get pissed off recalling shit I get pissed off about. Math, that's where I get a bit disappointed, though there was another time where I got disappointed to but that's for later. We did the usual, except today the teacher jokes around about how much homework we're going to have over the break, which is just 3 days by the way, it's not like two weeks.

        She assigns us a packet to do over the break. On top of that, she assigns us the daily homework. On top of that, once we get back, the day after that, we got a quiz, and the day AFTER that, we got a test. She's like "You'll all be able to enjoy a break after you're finished with the homework and the quiz and test :)." I'm just like "This ain't a joke though, this if fucking real." For a High-schooler, this is alot. You don't get 2-hour breaks every day, you don't get a day of school and then a day off like in college. This is just one of the six classes we have. I'm pretty sure during a family's Thanksgiving, everybody's gonna be enjoying some nice-ass food, conversing, etc, etc, and a student here is gonna be doing their homework or reading a text book at the dinner table because they won't have time to finish it all to actually get some time to relax.

        This is all from a High-schooler's perspective by the way. No, no college experience yet, so is the hardest it's gonna get for now. Anyways, after math was break, apparently our local mall's black Friday starts at 6:00 PM on Thursday, so, that's gonna be pretty, pretty wild. Digital Art was just work on my Gov presentation shit, of which I had to scrap and re-assemble once I found that there was a template (it was stated there was a template but not where it was located). Had to scrap together that and turn it in on Google Classroom on my phone during 4th period English. People were eating some food that others brought in, etc, etc.

        Luckily I did not visit Cy or else I'd probably starve to death. Lunch was what you'd expect, it's gotten back to normal like it should be. Gov was where I did my presentation on Bitcoin and the IRS and shit, how it's related to powers of Congress. We then had Chromebooks to work on our final project, yep, which also needs to be finished at home, so there's that, another thing to stack on this leaning tower of Pisa. After Gov, I was, hopeful, but ended up disappointed. I don't think Cy's walking this route anymore, I mean I still see her from 1st to 2nd, which is, ehh.

        Could be a multitude of reasons why I haven't seen her walk her usual route. But, I think I've tried enough. I've, I've tried my best, and if that didn't suffice, well, time to move on. I've done all I can, and if that same effort isn't reciprocated, why even continue, right? There's nothing else I can do. So to stop wasting everybody's time, I gotta leave this shit behind. Thankfully I did not send that Winter Wishes request (Winter Wishes is a thing where you fill out a form online, "wishing" somebody a gift, whether it be clothes, something electronic, a favor, etc, and ASB will attempt to fulfill it during the month of December or January) to gift her a copy of Final Fantasy XV that includes a bootleg message. Would've wasted a lot of everybody's time, and I also think I could give a more meaningful gift to somebody else now.

        Finally, it was Chinese where we read, read, and answered questions, before we folded some paper into Christmas envelopes, of which I argue that Thanksgiving hasn't even passed yet and people already hyping up Christmas, heh. I come home, I get on Skype, my Discord buddies plan to hang out at like 8:00 PM, I tell my mom that, she says it's fine (we're heading to Mc's house, which is in another city and this time Ec will drive and pick me up and back). A drive from here to there is about 40 minutes, so, to there and back, before midnight or around midnight, that doesn't leave a lot of time to do shit. So, Mc suggests to just sleep over. His mom's fine with it, in fact she encouraged Ec to sleep over last time.

        I asked my mom, she says no, gives a list of bullshit reasons that I've already got covered but she still argues them anyways. I'm 17, I just wanna get my driver's license so I go where I fucking want, an apartment so I can live how I fucking want, and uh, this is, this just builds up my rebelliacy (that's not even a word) 'cause of this shit. If she'd let me explain things, it'd be fine, but she still resorts to childish shit, which is ironic because that's how she treats me: like I'm still a fucking 5-year old. She says she wants to call Mc's mom to ask her if it's fine. I'm like "What the fuck?" This is the type of childish shit I'm talking about.

        So another week's gonna pass without me seeing my Discord buddies. We don't even see each other that often compared to our own friends and our Discord chat's the only thing keeping us all connected still even after, what, 6th grade? It's crazy.

        But anyways, tomorrow I'm going to this one mall with the KDT fam to shop for Lunar Show outfits. It's hopefully gonna be "lit," hopefully. See ya.