Friday, March 14, 2014 "Where Am I?"

Friday, March 14, 2014
Week 30
Songs to Remember: The First Date - 2PM

        Oh my god, what day is it? Friday, yeah it's Friday. You know the feeling between depression and being tired, yeah that's what I'm kind of feeling right now: depressed and tired. Or stressed out, or disappointed in myself or regretting things that I've done, or regretting things that I have yet to do.

        Might as well tell my day (since there really isn't anything exciting going on in my life as of this second). So today was a normal (and boring day). The highlights of it were mostly during 3rd period. One of my classmates brought in a baby bird or duck or thing. She brought it in a small shoe-shaped cardboard box. I think it was a for a project or something, I'm not really sure. All it did was attract attention of everyone like "Aww it's so cute" when in reality all it did was chirp all throughout the period.

        When 3rd period ended and I was walking to my 4th period (physical education), everyone stopped and were watching something happen on the grass field in the center of the school next to the theater. Supposedly (from what I heard), it was a fight that happened. I was like "Wait, after all these years, I finally get to apply those lessons they taught about bullying and such? Like being a bystander, a person who ignores, or the person who stands up?" So yeah, I thought about it and I was like "I don't want to get involved in this" and I went into the locker rooms which were right next to where the crowd of people were.

        A couple kids ran in the locker room and was like "Hey, there's a fight going on" and 2 P.E teachers darted out the door. Supposedly, the fight was about this little dude who wanted to fight this big dude. Now, the big dude didn't really fight back because a big dude fighting a little dude just makes it look bad, and so the little dude threw a trashcan at the big guy and that's basically all I heard. I never saw the fight or the guys involved, I just heard it from my classmates.

        This may all seem "exciting" and how you don't see my life as boring, but it really is. This stuff I don't even care about. These things don't even involve me, I'm not really part of anything. I've decided that I am actually an extrovert, but the mindset of an introvert, if that actually makes sense. I like it when I'm around people, I actually like group projects now, since people are FORCED to cooperate with me and talk to me.

        I just don't know where I'm at right now. If there was a map of the whole student body, including clubs, labels, and everything involving people, where would I be on that map? Would I be #35 on the Debate club part? No. Would I be #12 on my group of friends? No. You see, it doesn't matter if I don't fit in, because I never will. And so I need to make myself stand out and how will I do that? I. Don't. Know. I mean, I get depressed because I don't talk to my crush often as I'd like. To be in a situation, you got to make the situation.

        Maybe I'm just loopy and tired because of aggravating video games that I've been playing today? I'll go get some rest now. See you tomorrow.