Week: 28
Songs to Remember: Strange - MASC, I Don't Wanna Do This Anymore - XXXTENTACION
As much as I like games, I do not like it when I'm the player. Also, "senioritis." Hit me a long time ago.
How many times have I tried my best now? A lot. A lot of times. Am I proud that I've tried my best all those times? Hell yeah I am. I've gotten pretty far because of all that. Although I've tried my best many, many times, I'm still looking for a win, just one win. And that's, particularly difficult given my circumstances.
Dance was just fine. Sc wanted help with coming up with choreo and so I gave her some help. We're basically learning pieces of choreos, she still hasn't settled on the songs yet, and that was me like, a couple months ago. Math, this was another one of those times where I got cheaped out on some freelo. Teacher said the test was gonna be just like the quiz, it wasn't. I tried my best, ended up with a 60/100, grade went down 4% from an 81% to a 77%. Now luckily I already got accepted into the college I'm planning to go to, so, just as long as I survive, it won't matter.
Break was break, Digital Art was work. For my "American Gothic" painting parody, I'm doing EXO's Baekhyun and SNSD's "Taeyeon" as the faces for the people in the picture. Thought it'd be a pretty funny laugh between me and my KDT peoples. Umm, English, we did our King Arthur test. A dude in the class was like "I'ma cheat on the test, I'ma use my phone to look up the answers." I'm like "Really my African American bretheren (he's not African American though btw), you gon' cheat in a class that's basically freelo and on a test that's open-notes and that all you really need to do in order to do well on this thing is was to just take fucking notes or pay attention, you really gon' cheat on this."
The test itself was pretty lengthy, with 55 questions. Most of the questions were pretty long, or had long answer choices. So, if that dude was gonna search up almost each and every one, I don't think he'd get half-way through it. And, I don't even think he'd find the answers, heh. Anyways, lunch was fine, just a normal lunch. Econ, that was, just notes. And, Chinese, we had a test today, of which I was informed about 'till lunch but by that time I was already discouraged by my score in math as well as previous knowledge that shitty test scores in Chinese class doesn't matter, I, didn't really care for my score of 50/100.
Earlier in the day, err, 5th period or so, I looked on Facebook and see a video posted of Atr opening up a gift her buddy got her. It was a BTS lightstick, specifically the "Version 2," which retails for about $40. She was pretty ecstatic about it. K-Pop fans bring these to concerts and wave 'em around. It's literally what it is, a light-stick. I was like "Oh my fucking god, Drew, why did you not think of getting her this." In actuality, I did consider it, but I didn't think she'd be that hyped for a light-stick. After school, I was contemplating even staying. Unfortunately I did, and after Atr left, her best buddy was like "Blah blah blah she said you made those photo-cards, blah blah blah, you won a piece of her heart."
I'm like "Well, that's it huh." I didn't really say that, but I think it. I said "I don't even think she's into that sorta stuff, you know, dating shit." She's like "She told me 'I like him but I don't see myself dating him.' I asked her 'Well if Jin asked you out, would you date him?' and she was like 'Uh, YEAH.'" Now what kind of fucking waters are we dealing with here, WHAT KIND OF FUCKING WATERS ARE THESE. "I like him but I don't see myself dating him?" Riiiiiight. At this point, I, I don't wanna play anymore games, I'm fucking tired of all the bullshit I go through (considering what I have before me). Like, what the fuck am I supposed to do? What can I do?
Do I do what I usually did when I was done with shit? Just ignore? Maybe do that reverse-psychology shit? Or do I attempt to take the initiative again, and maybe just this time it'll work out, or, the risk I'll fall farther into the web. I don't, I don't like these games. Although my writing is not exactly crystal-clear, I feel that my actions, so far, have been extra, crystal-clear.
Tomorrow we're gonna be practicing in the theater for the KASA show next, next week. We'll be there from after school, to 5:30 PM. I expect things to go, alright. Anyways, I got some choreographing to do. See ya.
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