Monday, May 31, 2016 "All For What."

Monday, May 31, 2016
Week: 42
Songs to Remember: All In - Monsta X

        As I'm sitting here with my sore throat, I got a couple things already decided. I got many things still undecided.

        So, my sleeping habits really showed today, especially this morning where I my mom woke me up for school and I dismissed it as nothing, ending up almost getting to school late. Which, I guess to my mom is something but, currently it doesn't matter. I don't think any teachers care right now, especially the 2nd to last day of school. And umm, yeah, I don't think I have perfect attendance. So, no use going for that stupid sash.

        For Bio, I wanted to spend it relaxing with a person I care about, who is sadly leaving the series by the end. It's Ct, if you didn't know. The teacher played "Hotel Transylvania" for us to watch, I spent most of the time either taking looks at the movie, or working on math. In actuality I didn't finish, but, my grade for math is essentially solidified so no use trying too, too hard. I learned my lesson the hard way, well, in a hard, unconventional way.

        The teacher passed back our AP Delight project things, where she still decides to grade them harshly. Like, I still somehow got a 35/40. I mean I did what the prompts said to do, but somehow I guess the teacher didn't want to give me a 40/40, either because she has a bit too high of expectations for the perfect "responses" even though it is all opinionated (the prompt was to describe my note-taking style. Like, what? She grades us on that or something?), or, because she's traumatized by the amount of people who got 100%'s in that cheating incident.

        That incident caused her a lot of stress, judging by the emails she sent to us regarding the incident. I think that's a key point in why she's not gonna be teaching next year, or, however long her "break" she is taking, is. I mean, what'd she expect? She took the questions directly online, an open, public source. It ain't our fault they were easily found. And what'd she expect from doing a "college-style" form of teaching. The 2nd semester was essentially self-study, she gave out like, a little bit of lecture if you wanted, but, all she did was pass out worksheets and we were left on our own.

        The point I'm trying to make her is: I didn't pass AP Biology. I ended up with a 69.82% from the AP Delight. Maybe I could've gotten a 70% if I had gotten a 40/40, but we'll never know. I did ask the teacher if she could round me up. She asked what percentage and I said "0.8%." Her ruling was apparently only 0.96% or 0.97% only. She said it pretty sternly, it didn't look like she felt sorry for my or anything, I, I couldn't really do nothing about it. If I had begged or something, she'd probably tell me that I take it as a lesson that she's flunking me.

        It sucks definitely, to be that close to less stress. Sadly, close doesn't cut it. Some , if not all, classes are determined by how you play according to the teacher's rules. Unfortunately I didn't play my cards right and ended up, like this. I was depressed, yeah. Even with Ct's comfort, I tried to shake it off, but it prolonged in my head. During break, I ran into DrewN and he was going to go meet up with this girl from our English class, who bought this baseball mitt (like the one in Catcher in the Rye) for everybody in the class to sign as a present for our English teacher.

        I did it out of, being nice, although I do not take well anymore to the sight of my Honors English teacher, heh. Umm, so yeah, we signed it, the bell rang, we ran into Ag while we were there. I haven't seen her in like a week, because, you know who. The cast and I are still planning how and when our game night will be. Currently our schedules are booked, for me, the KDT social after school tomorrow.

        Anyways, I did not care for math, at all. I did organize my binder, that's because it's easy and it's free points, but uh, that was about it. No studying, I very cheaply just copied down the answers onto the review sheets we had to do. I was just ready to lock in my "C" grade once and for all. Or hoped to. Fortunately, DrewN and I ran into a mutual friend of ours, that one dude who was in my table group last year for math. He said the final was easy, and it was. The free-response was a literal "match the equation with the answer," something that is prevalent in my History class tests. The actual free-free-response was short, simple, straight-forward, and recent to what we learned the past month.

        The multiple choice was fortunately only 41 questions. I wouldn't say they were easy, but I they weren't that difficult either, only because they're multiple choice and most had the "which one is not true?" question. During the test, after I had finished but didn't turn in my test yet, I sat there thinking about what just happened in the earlier period. It was like "Jesus, a year of a class, down the drain, wasted." If only I had known what I gotten myself into when I signed up for AP Biology. I just had to have this teacher for this year, ya know.

        One that attempted to teach it in a conventional "college" way but ended up being a horrible experience for everybody, and then choosing to bail out of teaching afterwards after seeing the true forms of people at this school, ones that would to like to pass, or, have a future, ya know. She's majored in Biology in college. She's taught Biology for 10+ years, she wasn't able to get a 100% or at least a 99% for a test that she co-created, based upon elementary AP Biology stuff, even after having learned a shit ton from college. I mean, for fuck's sake, she teaches us this information! Well, maybe teach isn't the right word because she didn't really teach, this semester.

        She's used to teaching regular Biology, freshman kids, and she chooses to this year to teach AP Biology. I wouldn't say it's entirely my fault that I failed. Hell, if I turned in those 2 notes then I might've ended up with a 70%. But I will say, part of the fault is attributed to the teacher, and I'm sure many of her students feel the same way as well. So that;s my excuse for if colleges ask me about that one D+ I ended up with in AP Bio. I'll tell 'em my teacher just started teaching AP Bio, and that one test example. I didn't think I would have to make excuses, but for my future, I gotta do what it takes.

        And speaking of colleges asking about grades, this one girl in KDT, I'll say, uh, Mi, she asked the group chat today if colleges ask about D's in classes and stuff. Only if colleges ask about it do you have to worry, is what most people replied. She went on about how she ended up with a D+ in AP Government and she's afraid her acceptance in SF State will be revoked because of it. Jb asked if it was hard since she considered taking it next year. Mi replied that it is, that she had really bad emotional problems, especially due to the dude who sits next to her in class. Apparently he used her for sexual pleasures, all the while knowing that she had liked him and not having the same feelings back. It's sad to hear that these events have occurred to people I know and care about. I didn't think I'd hear these things, but considering hard emotions at points like senior year and thinking about college and graduation and not seeing your friends ever again, letting something out like this isn't uncommon.

        And worst of all, today is her birthday too. Fortunately, she's receiving care and comfort from her friends, and tomorrow's the KDT social celebration so, even more friends to surround her. So, getting back to my track, when I finished with my thoughts during the math final, I turned my test in, talked with DrewN for a bit. We all went to return our textbooks and then, we left. It wasn't the last time I'll ever see Vb or DrewN, so I didn't worry about good-byes. And I do know that a long summer break changes things. I might not be able to see the same people again for reasons, but, hey, at least I know I can still say some "Hellos" every time I see them. Like I what I plan to do with Yn tomorrow after the History final.

        She's planning to go to SJSU to pursue an art career, like my cousin. I'm both fortunately and unfortunately going to as well as of right now. More specifically, graphic design instead of hand-drawn art with physical mediums. For one, it's more practical in my opinion. With new apps coming out everyday, websites updating, digital advertisements, everybody would need some nice looking GUI's or fonts or, whatever. Secondly, I've been doing graphic design since I learned my way on how to use a computer. Since like, 10. 11 years old. Designing YouTube backgrounds, heh, avatars, things like that. I like the creativity behind it all because I get to personalize it, make it my own and how I like it. It explains a bit on how I'm a bit indecisive about 50% of the time, and how I enjoy customization options in video games and stuff.

        I ain't gonna write amazing articles for the newspaper, I ain't gonna be a therapist, I ain't much of a translator, I ain't gonna be a professional dancer, I definitely ain't gonna be a Biologist, that's for sure. My oldest cousin does acting as background characters in shows, and seeks job opportunities when he can. My 2nd oldest cousin majors in Drawing at SJSU, about to graduate this year I think after 4 years. My cousin, the one I talk to on Skype, is gonna be majoring in computer science, I think, at SFSU. My cousins from my dad's side is going to Brown University, while her brother is doing great in acting in his school plays. Art and technology is in my blood. Out of all the things, the fads, graphic design has probably been the thing that has kept with me since i was little.

        So although I won't be going to a world-renowned college, it's one that hopefully fits me and what I like to do. Alright, so, uhh, what else do I need to talk about. Uhhh, still on that anime hype. I started watching Deadman Wonderland a couple days ago, I'm on episode 4 currently. Really nice. Also another thing I'd like to mention: I like achievements. I like motivation and progress. If there ain't a way to show my progress, I don't like it. That's why leveling systems in games appeal to me, that's a reason why, I do all these posts, I got something to show for it. Here, documentation of my High school life, each day.

        Back to what i was saying, I got History final tomorrow which is gonna be a real bore, but, at least I don't gotta worry, like at all. Chinese, I heard the teacher makes you watch "Mulan" but dubbed in Chinese, aaand doesn't allow the use of phones this time. I also need to remind myself to remove my lock from my locker I never use. I also need to get off my lazy ass on Thursday in order to explore around the graduation place, at the football field of the school. It happens at like, 10:00 AM, so, kinda sucks, but hey, it's once a year, once a lifetime really, and I might not see these... I just remembered that there's a lot of seniors that I know that are graduating, more specifically, people that I've known for a while like Ad and Jt (the one who suffered in Yearbook class with my in 7th grade). Yeah, some of them are just gonna be residing in SJSU, I'll probably see them eventually, but, ya never know.

        And fuck, this sore throat is not fairing well for me. Just had to hit me with it during this time of the year, huh, heh. Well, anyways, I gotta prep for a couple of dances for the KDT showcase tomorrow. It's 12:15 AM right now, I should really get some sleep before this sore throat fucks me over even harder. I'll practice for a few minutes, I got these down anyways, nothing to go TOO hard on. Tomorrow is the premier of the series finale for "The Days," starting at 7:30 AM PST. See ya.