Sunday, April 9, 2017 "Motipression."

Sunday, April 9, 2017

Week: 35

Songs to Remember: Never Ever - GOT7, My First and Last - NCT DREAM

        So last night I had a real good fucking cry. I don't have those often anymore, but when I do, I cry. A lot.

        I Snapchatted Kt once more about how there's probably no second chance for, is there, and uh, \ how my previous actions were, still, impulsive. And uh, that if I didn't say sorry before, that, I am sorry, and if I could go back in time and not do it, I would take that ability. Before I went to sleep, I saw that she sent me a Snap, but I waited until the morning to open it. And last night I could not, get her out of my fucking dreams.

        I eventually started having dreams of what that Snapchat she sent me was. In the morning when I had to wake up at 8:00 AM to get ready for my driving lessons, I opened it to a black screen with the words "I'm sorry." That was, I fucked up. Hard. I'm like "Well Drew. You are one messed-up person. You should ask someone if you could borrow their chromosomes for the next few months." I did my driving lessons, tomorrow I gotta wake up at 3:30 AM for free-way driving lessons, and then at 8:00 AM I'll be taking my driving test.

        I was still depressed, pretty much am. I wanted to message Kt again about the prom thing, if we were still going to prom, but, I think she'd be annoyed if I kept on asking. I agree, this is probably what she felt when I told her "I'll think about it" when she asked me to date. Very, very excruciating, just waiting, knowing that your fate's being decided somewhere over a period of time. I deserve it, yeah. At around 11:00 AM today, I received a Snap from her. On it, she said "I don't trust you" and although that statement sucks ass to hear (nobody wants to hear that), my eyes lit up. My soul, lit up.

        I Snapped her back, telling her that it's understandable if she doesn't trust me. I said that I wanna know what I can do to earn her trust, anything. I suggested maybe even a face-to-face talk where I can explain to her all my feelings and thoughts from start to finish, about everything, and, anything she wants to know. Yeah, I am desparate, I am begging. She has opened that Snap, but she still has yet to reply. It's 2:43 PM right now, and the days have been long. Especially today. I looked at the time when I wrapped up my breakfast and it was only like, 11:00 AM.

        I told myself, err, I promised myself, that, since there is no school for a whole week, you have no excuse, to not be productive. And that's what I want to do. She is my motivation. Clearly I'm not perfect, to her, or even to me. I want to get to that perfect-ness as close as possible (because we all know perfect does not exist). So I made myself a schedule of what I wanna do/ did already. I gotta eat as much as possible, get ride of my fucking, wrists that you can see my arm bone at. I wanna gain weight, not in fat, but in muscle. Of course you gotta gain some fat first, but, I'll be burning that along with my exercise.

        I'll be having a 4-minute full-body workout in the mornings, I'll be waking up early for that. Wash my face constantly, as well as constantly moisturize. Stand up, stretch whenever I feel like a sloth. Drink my daily in-take of 64 ounces of water, at least, each day. Do at least 200 push-ups every day, over the course of the day. I know what I have to do to change my ignorant mentality. And I know, what I have to do to change my personal view of myself, and that's through physicalaity. Because if Kt is merciful enough to change her mind, or at least agree to still go to prom with me, I want make sure I don't disappoint her. And most importantly, disappoint myself.

        I already fucked up once, and I learned from my mistakes. Oh I almost forgot to mention social media. Seeing people do shit through screens, is depressing, because unless you're there, or doing something equivalent to that, it's gonna bring you down. So, I'm cutting back on opening up the Facebook app. I'm cutting back on opening up Instagram and Snapchat. The only thing I'm leaving my phone on is for reading during dinner, messages, alarms, the time, and the next Snapchat from Kt.

        I gotta get some sleep early today 'cause I'll be waking at 3:00 AM. I wanna be awake to drive, heh. I'll finish my exercise, stretch, maybe begin to learn BTS' "Not Today" (for I am a co-teacher for teaching that song when we get back), and uh, eat and exercise. It's 2:53 PM, I'll do all that before eating dinner, some more health checks, aaand sleep. If there's one positive thing you can get from periods of depression, it's that, instead of letting expressing the sadness and going along with it, all droopy, frowny, and crying, and instead of changing that to anger, a fire, to keep you in place (a temporary fix), you can use it as motivation. Reverse the sadness. 'Cause that's what I'm hoping to do, right now. See ya.

        Just wanna mention that it's still only 3:00 PM, and yet I feel like I've done so, so much. Probably because I woke up early, on a day when there's no school for that matter. I do feel healthy, not even sleepy actually, even though last night I did sleep at 2:00 AM. Could just be a placebo effect, but if it gets me through sitting on my ass all day and being groggy as fuck when waking up, I'll take it. Anyways, see ya.

        And one, last last thing, I feel great. Not emotionally, heh, but physically, yeah. If I keep this up for the whole week, and up until maybe, who knows what the results will be. I am, definitely excited. The challenge here is not the pushups or amount of products I have, it's keeping up, that schedule. Anyways, now, see ya.

Saturday, April 8, 2017 "Sorry."

Saturday, April 8, 2017

Week: 35

Songs to Remember: Because of You (NU'EST PRODUCE 101 Cover) - After School

        One of the most difficult things for me is saying sorry. Not like a "sorry I bumped into" or "sorry for spilling my water on the table" but an honest, deep, "I'm sorry."

        I'm sorry to Kt, who I disrespected. It is true that she plays dudes and does 180's behind masks. But with all the shit that's happened to her, I don't think she deserves it. I think, she's still trying to find the right person to click on everything that she likes. After an insane amount of thinking, I don't think she's to blame.

        I'm sorry to my fans. Even though they are, non-existant, heh, I'm kinda ruining the flow of this series. It wasn't like it was headed towards a brick-wall, it was swimmingly smooth. And it could've been ridden out smooth, had it not been for me, loving drama too much, and, un-purposely bringing movie drama into real-life.

        I'm sorry, to myself. I keep things under wraps. I have layers on layers, so many layers of feelings, I never get to express them. I'm vague, as Kt and some others have indirectly implied. I say I hate games, yet I'm the one who plays 'em. After switching side over side, never taking a real one-path to anything, i end up, at no path. I am, the biggest hypocrite I know.

        I'm thinking entirely on my heart here. That's something I haven't been using lately. Lately it's just been my head, my big- dumb, stupid head, and my male-instinct dick. After sending Kt that break-up text, last night I was still feeling, regretful. I took some time to think, a therapy session, I was expecting to feel better afterwards like "Hell yeah, that was a good decision, I don't need her." Well, after I was done, I still had that empty feeling, in my heart.

        I couldn't sleep. I  woke up in the morning, and she was still in my head. I couldn't focus on my driving lessons today, it was raining, I got barely any rest. I caved and I messaged her on Snapchat, that maybe I was a bit rash. I told her I, should've talked it out. Things could've been different had I talked it out instead of being vague and, beating around the bush on shit that was discomforting me. She said we could talk about later, and that reminded me that, yeah, today was the day of the VSA night-show performance.

        Which, is also apparently my last KDT performance here at school. There's no more shows, no more rally performances. All we got now is to prepare for Fanime and, other performance opportunities. Although there were some nice laughs in there, most of it, was spent with me being fucking emo about shit. It's easy to forget about somebody, but, not if they're seen around you every 5 minutes, interacting with others. I crossed the threshold to ask her if I could talk to her for a bit. I apologized, one of the hardest apologies I think I've ever had to do. Not hard as in, level, but, hard as in, I never thought I'd be apologizing like this.

        I told her I didn't mean it, that I was frustrated and stressed out, and that I hoped we could get back together. And that is true, all of it  I couldn't really hear what she said but I heard her mention something about being friends if I wanted, or not at all. And, I just said yeah to the friends thing, umm. It was, it didn't go the way I expected it to. And, I spent most of the time just thinking. Thinking, why, why do I feel this way, why did I do that, did I think it through, what do I have to do, what can I do. I got a lot of support, from Bp, Jd, Tm, Ln, and Rh, and, I can't thank 'em enough for that.

        During the break before the actual show, Bp invited me with Rh and Ln to go walk and get milk tea. I wasn't in the mood for milk tea though, so I used the time to think. And yes, I did walk. There was also a point where I was just sitting by myself, thinking over my actions, alone, on at table outside the theater. Rh saw me and messaged me if I wanted to talk, or if I'm one of those sit-by-myself types, and you bet I went over and sat with him and Ln. And even throughout the sadness, I still performed with my soul. That, cannot be changed, unlike, the other three.

        After the show, only a few of us went out to eat. It was me, Tm, Rh, Ln, Jd, Kt, Mp, and their group of friends. I tried my best to stray out of a sulking mood, but it was hard, considering she was sitting a seat away from me. We finished, and, uh, I could see that Kt was making an effort, to interact with me, despite, yeah. And that's, it lightens me but also saddens me. I was given a ride by Mp, whom, all of us (Rh, Ln, her, Kt, and me) were in. Rh offered us to sleep-over at his house, and I would've liked that, but, my mom said no. And we had already passed by my house, dropping the others off first, and so instead of turning back, Kt offered to take me home after getting to Mp's house.

        It was just me, Kt, and Mp. I was still not in the mood for anything, I, I could barely even speak. Kt's dad arrived, and uh, we rode back. I asked her if we would still be going to prom, and, uh, she had already asked her best friend to go with her instead. She said she'll talk to her about it though, but that she'll need some time. I was like "Yeah sure. Take as long as you need." And I could see, I deserved it.

        So what have I learned today? Well. When you think with just your head or your dick, you forget to think with your heart. And after making decisions with just your head and or dick, and you start using your heart again, it's gonna take a toll on you. I know if she were to allow me a second chance to continue this, if you can even call it a relationship, it won't last, but I know that. We both know that. I just, I just wanted it to last a little bit longer. It's 2:07 AM, see ya.

Friday, April 7, 2017 "OG Thrills."

Friday, April 7, 2017

Week: 35

Songs to Remember: Plz Don't Be Sad - Highlight (하이라이트)

        The past 24 hours I've been thinking with my heart and dick a bit too much still. I haven't been putting my head into it at all.

        I've gotten this "break-up remorse" where it's like, you do miss the interactions, even if they were fake. Even though she was going to break-up with me eventually, or if she really was going to stay for the long-run (which I have now gotten that idea out of my head), it gave me comfort, game me security, somebody to fall back on, even if that person was kinda shitty.

        I can kinda see now why Kb was still attached to Kt, even though it was obvious to him that she was shitty. Heart and dick take over and there's barely any room for thinking with your head. I just kept on reminding myself the 180 personality she had, as demonstrated from Cc's intel, that it was the best for me. She doesn't feel sad about it, she's been feeling like, mad about it, heh, because apparently so many people know about the whole break-up shit.

        Jk knew it from El, who, I don't know where she got that from. Ek heard about it, and so did Lw. Even Ag knew, like, c'mon. I'm like "Godamn this shit spreads fast." And I know I haven't been spreading shit. Ln told me Kt mentioned it to her in class and I'm like "Yep, she is polluting the waters. But, I'm just gonna keep silent, shit's gonna die down because, for fuck's sake, there's nothing too dramatic about it all." And by polluting the waters, I mean stretching the extent of my actions/words out of proportion to make the shit I've done or said seem way worse than they actually appear to be.

        My advice for rumors, even though I barely have any experience in being the main point of 'em, is to just keep quiet. Do not argue with brute force, and by that I mean outright deny false claims that you do know for a fact that they are false. You know the story, but to others, it's debatable. Argue using only logic and evidence, and keep the arguments quiet.

        Spring break's, happening right now so it'll basically all be over once school comes back. Tomorrow though, that's something different. It's the VSA night-show, with practices starting at 3:30 PM with the show ending uhhh, some time late at night. We'll be eating at a restaurant afterwards, no iHop this time though, fortunately and unfortunately. I'll also be having driving lessons from 9:00 AM to 10:00 AM, so there's that.

        Almost forgot to talk about today. Today was a short today, as it's the last school day before spring break. I was determined to talk to Cl about prom and, the chance that she'd go with me. I waited the whole day until 5th period. Fortunately for me, her 5th period is in the building right next to the door of my 5th period, so when that bell rang, you believe I ran. I was actually nervous, in a long time, about something like this. It did remind me of the thrills of previous seasons, previous series. It was like OG "So Don't be on with Her" suspense.

        I caught sight of Cl, thought I lost her, found her again, went up to her and she greeted me with a "Hey Drew!" I was like "Hey Cl!" She was like "What class do you have next" and blah and blah. I'm like "Oh, Chinese at the portables" and she's like "Cool, I'll walk you there, hehehe." I never noticed her speech before but godamn does she laugh and giggle a lot. Which ain't bad, I mean I love laughing myself, heh. Anyways, we're walking and uh, I just, go on it. My younger self I think, would be pretty proud. He'd be like "Woah, how did you do that without sweating a gallon? Why's the threshold so slim now?"

        I asked her if she was going to prom and she was like "Nope. Why, are you?" and I'm like "Yeah but..." and blah and blah. She wondered why I wasn't going with Kt and I told her a brief summary of what happened. I told her that, I was gonna ask her to prom initially. She giggled, umm, it's actually not because of me, she uh, she just giggles a lot. I'll get into that later. But uh, yeah she told me she ain't going to prom this year as she wants to save it for next year, for her to go all out and have fun with her friends, as last special thing. And after a few more hintings of "Heeeey, I wanna go to prom with you," she kept with her idea of saving it for her senior year, which is fine.

        It's understandable. And uh, at home after getting off from school, I was thinking with my dick and heart for a while. I was like "What if...did I act too impulsively? Should I have saved the breakage 'till after prom? Fuck, fuck, fuck." I'm like "Again, when I was secure for a different experience at prom, I do something like this, I still manage to fuck it up." And still, typing about it, makes me kinda feel that way. Which is yea, it is stupid, and hypocritical on shit I've said. It's the reason why it all sounds stupid, because I haven't been thinking with my head.

        That all took a complete 180 turn when I received a message from Cl about 45 minutes ago. I saw the "Hey" message from her and my fucking soul lit up. I was like "Ohhhhhh my. Thank you based god, thank you." I responded with "Hey Cl" and the next text she sent was "You're still going to prom for sure right lol?" and like, I was ready to scream, ready to jump out of my seat like "Drew...YEAHHHHH BOIIII." Unfortunately though, that was about it on the prom stuff. She just wanted to confirm that I was still going to prom.

        The little nerves in my mind were all like "Did, was that it? Sheeeee, did not change her mind about prom. Huh, well that's, that was not part of the script." She and I continued to talk though, which her leading stuff before I took over. I was like "Okay, maybe we're onto something here. Alright Drew, dust off those 4 series of experience, and put it to work NOW." And that was what I did. And you know what I got? A lot of expression-less texts, and a lot of "hahahaha," which, I guess were to express her actual real-life giggles, but in text-form, heh.

        I'm not saying she's boring, I'm just saying, I think hearing her messages be said in real-life is a lot better than reading them... especially the "hahahaha"'s. It's just, weird, heh. Like that right there, I add those "heh"'s at the end to represent chuckles, or positive/friendly/funny expression. I asked her one last time before I was left on read, reassuring that she ain't going to prom this year, and yea, I was reassured in her giggliy manner.

        Now, there's two directions that I could head into for this prom manner. i could go the "go with your friends" route, but that only applies if ya'll are truly committed to doing everything at prom together. And we, kinda already do that on things, but the thing this, it's prom: there's nothing to do but talk, eat bootleg food, dance while watching others yike for fuck's sake. Or, I could go the desperation route and, just start asking. Now I would do it in person, but then if a person did say yes, they'd have one week to prep for prom, and uh, yeah, I don't think that shit would be happening, heh.

        Which means, it's gotta be online, which, is not something I'd wanna do because to me, that'd seem like such a fucking scam, heh. "Hey how was your day? I know I don't talk to you much or ever, but uh, would you mind going to prom with me?" Just sounds bootleg to me, but if I do care for a new prom experience, that's what I gotta do. I gotta sacrifice my internet personality, for, yeah. I mean at this point, I got nothing to lose. Nothing. I know I've said it before, but this time. I really don't.

        I don't know, I'll start planning stuff out tomorrow or something. For now, I just want some sleep. It's 11:00 PM, see ya.

Thursday, April 6, 2017 "Now I Know."

Thursday, April 6, 2017

Week: 35

Songs to Remember: To Myself - DPR LIVE - OPEN THE DOOR - TAEYONG (태용)

        There are times when I think with head. There are times when I think with my heart. And, there are also times when I think with my dick. This was one of the times when I needed to think with just my head and my heart.

        It's been less than a month since she asked me to date, less than a month since she suggested I go to prom with her. This was my first relationship (if you could call it that) and also my first break-up. Plot-twist, it was me who had to be the one doing the breaking. I honestly felt sorta bad like, there was a little disturbance in my head like "Drew, what the fuck did you just do..."

        Buuuuut, after background discussion with Cc, with screenshots, it reassured me that "Oh fuck yeah, Drew, you dodged a fucking bullet right there. You stepped off the railroad tracks of an oncoming train, and that shit would've dragged out long had you not done it." I'm not gonna go into the details it because to be honest, it ain't my concern anymore, heh. I've written ENOUGH paragraphs about her. The one thing I need to remind myself is that this was a confirmed "You did the right thing."

        And the lasting words that you used to break up with her. "I don't think we should be together anymore. In plain English, I'm breaking with you. and no, it's not because of how you answered those questions. I don't like your attitude, our humor is extremely different, it's not gonna work out. Bye." HOOOOOOOOO BOI.

        That's all in the past now. I messaged Ev, the one person who I know is closest with Cl. I asked him if he knew if Cl is going with anybody to prom and that was no. No as in, she ain't going with anybody. The only thing he knows about her schedule is her 5th period, so either I gotta do some hard stalking, or, catch her at 5th period. And don't get my started on the promposal, that's, HOOOO, that's, let's worry about the mainframe first.

        "But Drew, you're seriously asking somebody else to go to prom with even though you just broke up with somebody. Doesn't that make you a bad person too?" Well you see, from the confirmation with Cc, after I broke up with Kt, she asked Cc "WHO DO I FIND TO GO TO PROM WITH NOW?" and then the rest was some misandry and talking about hair-flipping and attracting guys. That all re-assured me what I was doing, was, in her ways, within the ball-game of being completely moral.

        This has been one of the toughest obstacles I have concurred, and that was, to be able to think with my head and heart, instead of, just my heart, or my dick. It shouldn't have been, but since it was all new, I didn't know how to deal with it. And now, I do. Godamn did I learn so much. Oh yeah, almost forgot to talk about today's KDT practice, err, today's VSA night-show run-through. Me, Vh, Cc, and this time Mp, we all went (walked) to McDonalds from school and got fries and 40 chicken mcnuggets. We then relaxed, watched the show, and practice those 4 minutes of on-stage performance.

        And yes, it was again, filled with laughter. I fucking loved it. Jd, Mt, Ln, Rh, Cc, Tm, Vh, the freshmen, the sophomores, juniors, the seniors, I love 'em all in KDT. I fucking love 'em. The cast who know what's best for me, I fucking love 'em. I love 'em all. It's 11:00 PM, it's time to get started on shit that's due tomorrow. I can't wait for tonight's sleep, it's gonna be so good. See ya.

Wednesday, April 5, 2017 "Know Myself."

Wednesday, April 5, 2017

Week: 35

Songs to Remember: Open the Door - TAEYONG (태용), To Myself - DPR LIVE

        I took a look into myself and I've decided that I'm gonna cash in on as much intel as I can. From there, if shit doesn't add up, I'm cutting it.

        It as in, Kt. I don't wanna play anymore fucking games, I'm tired, there's deadlines to meet. She's been making me frustrated and depressed in all around the times today. When I woke up at 5:00 AM, I was expecting her to be with me at all times, restricting me from interacting with my friends, the people who I'd give up any relationship for.

        It was in fact, opposite. She was with the freshmen and Mp for a majority of the time. Call me hypocritical here when I did these things, but when I offered her my hand to hold, she usually ignored it, and run off to a friend to talk to. When she offered her hand for me to hold, or poke me, nudge me, hold my sides, etc, and I ignored it, either in spite of her ignoring me or because I wasn't in the mood, she'd play the victim game. "Wow, okay" and put on all shields.

        "But Drew, you said before that you don't care about her shit. Why do you care so much if she's in contact with you?" It's rational to call me a hypocrite here. I did say before that I didn't care much after the affection, that I'd go along with it whenever it was offered, just to go along with it. But I was expecting it today, because who else wouldn't. It's the whole day, spent in one place. She has 8 hours to spend it with me. On other practice days, during break or whatever, she'd be all over me, either sitting on my lap or holding hands 24/7, etc.

        But because she didn't, to be honest I did feel lonely. She was out there interacting with others and I was looking forward to interacting with her. Again, call me a hypocrite because just the other day with time in the theater for VSA run-throughs with KDT, I was complaining about having no time to spend with people like Cc, Jd, etc, because of Kt. Now with this, I complain about the complete opposite. However, spoilers, this all didn't ruin the VSA show day-show for me. Another thing that did bother me, besides her spending time with people other than me, was the fact that half of it was with those she has had feelings before with.

        I'm talking about Cc, the Junior dude Aa, the one who dances quite well, is lesbian, short, whose appearance bears stronger similarities to a guy more than a girl, and Kb, to my surprise. She said after a KDT practice once before that she has had feelings for Cc before, which, I already knew. She said once before that she has had feelings for Aa before as well. She talks and gets touchy with Cc and Aa often, which, up until now I wasn't really concerned with, I didn't mind. Aa has a GF and Cc is not interested (personally told by Cc that she is not interested at all with Kt). As for Kb, less than a month ago (30 days, I know right), she acted like Kb was the cause of her miseries. She acted with hatred/disgust for him. And today, she was smiling, laughing, playing hands games, contact, etc, with him, as if the previous hostilities did not even exist.

        I'm thinking like "If Kb caused you so much anguish that you broke up with him and treated him as if he were the bane of your existence, what made you change your attitiude about him so much that you can comfortably laugh and interact with him as if you just met him for the first time?" One las thing that pissed me off: her attitude. She does abuse her power of being on top, keeping herself from being on the bottom. She'd make jokes about our relationship, as if it was ain't shit. Most of her jokes are not funny. Actually I shouldn't say that. Her sense of humor is different from those around her, resulting in her being the only one who laughs. Her sarcasm is too similar to her regular speech, resulting in me (or others) having trouble deciphering what she says to be taken either seriously or not.

        Most, if not all, of her jokes and sarcasm, put me down. I'm talking looks, sexuality, sex appeal, etc. And if I were to say anything about her, which I don't because I know that won't net me anything, then, she'd just go on the defensive, putting herself as the victim. It is abusive. That, and her attitude are what frustrates me. Attitude, I never defined it. Attitute, to me, is how people respond to comments, situations, their outlook on situations, etc. For example, I'd make a comment saying something like "Man I'm tired," or something small like that. A person with an easy-to-love attitutde, like Cc, would say something along the lines of "Man, me too" or throw an inside joke in there. At least hers, I can decipher, because we both share the same sense of humor.

        Kt, on the other hand, would respond with something along the lines "What do you want me to do about it?" or the classic Kt line, my favorite, "... okay..." And you gotta hear it in person, it is the most annoying, infuriating, insinuating, response, you will ever hear. And if you were to say that to her, again, she'd go on the defensive. She'd be like "Wow, okay, don't respond" or "I see how it is, leave me hanging." I'm like "Fucking GOD, I'ma fucking kill myself because of how low-effort of a response that is." I understand if a person's not in the mood. If they're sad, angry, etc, having a bad day, doesn't want to talk or isn't interested, I understand, I'll, not fucking say anything more and let 'em be, or, sympathize, empathize, etc, for 'em. But if they do this all the time, it's either depressing, or frustrating, to get something across the board, and not have to condone to the other person's (in this case, Kt) catalog of shit to talk about.

        Finally, the key thing I want to talk about, is humor. From now on, if a person I wish to initiate a relationship with (I'm talking more than friends, here) doesn't have the same sense of humor as me (something slightly off is fine) or doesn't even make attempts to accept it, etc, then I don't even wanna mess with that shit. I'm being completely honest here, from my deepest feelings, whole-heartedly believe, that the reason for the friends that I have now, they are friends with me, or actually, I'm friends with them, is because 99.9% of us, share the same sense of humor. I can't think of anything else.

        The VSA show day-show today went smoothly overall. I wasn't able to go all-all out, I went, about 99%, only because my hair was in the way of my eyes whilst disregarding my headband, but it was good. The highlight of it was not spending time with the people there, during in-between performance times at the theater, but it was the time AFTER, it all, when we had 3 hours to do, whatever. We were at school, in the theater, from 6:00 AM, to 2:00 PM. We then had one more show run-through from 5:00 PM to 7:00 PM. Within that 3-hour gap, from 2:00 PM to 5:00 PM, I could've went home, Cc could've went home, Vh could've went home, Vh's BF could've went home, rest, and show up back at 5:00 PM but uh, we didn't. We instead walked to a milk tea place, about a mile away from the school. We then walked back to the plaza located right around the corner of the school for pizza.

        And then we walked back to the theater to sit back and wait for our performance time, and then left. That right there, that 3-hour interval of just me, Cc, Vh, and Vh's BF, just us 4, walking to and from long distances from and to school whilst enjoying food and drinks, telling the stupidest jokes known to man, of which we all laughed maniacally at, that made the whole show experience. I loved it more than anything else.

        So yeah, that was the whole thing. 'Course there were others who made the show even better or, helped me cope with frustration and depressments (not a word), during it, like Jd, Ln, Rh, Tm, etc, but those are all a given. Anyways, tomorrow is a dress rehearsal from 5:00 PM to 7:00 PM again. I also don't have to wake up until about, 10:30 AM, so, that'll take some stress off my shoulders. I'll also only have periods 4, 5, and 6 tomorrow, which means I don't have to deal with periods 1, 2, or 3, giving me, some more leighway in terms of dealing with stress. And uh, the rest is, on its own from there.