Thursday, January 29, 2015 "Over Thinking."

Thursday, January 29, 2015
Week: 24
Songs to Remember: Ghost in Your Mind - Feel Kim

        Am I thinking too far ahead? Should I be thinking far ahead? Just thinking about how I'm gonna be somewhat social on a Saturday night is already bringing on the anxiety.

        I plan on going to the Lunar show (event at my school theater where they show performances of Asian cultural dances, singing, etc) this Saturday night, along with my buddy from tutoring. Ai was my name for him right? Ai. Gotta remember that. Anyways, it means that I'll have to interact with people. I don't wanna be like how I did when I went to watch The Purge: Anarchy alone. Just gonna get there, meet up with my buddy, sit back, and relax. With loud music of course. Also I heard it was going to be for around 2-3 hours. Dear lord, what are they gonna do besides singing and dancing?

        Just thinking about going to social events like that are bringing on some anxiety. With the thoughts of having to learn how to drive soon, MAYBE (maybe) take some summer classes for whatever reason, getting a part-time job to make some extra dough, CAHSEE testing this year, essays in English, and passing Algebra II/ Trig with a B or higher, is enough to make me sigh. But that's not even the beginning. I still have AP tests to take to make it into AP classes, take AP Psychology and AP Chemistry, SAT, SAT, SAT, college entrance exams, college registration, college classes, college, college essays, college, collage, collages, picture collages, not taking enough pictures, *sigh*. My mom wants me to take a community college then transfer to real one to save money, but then, what am I working for then? The extra work will be for naught if I'm just going to a community college first.

        The big question is, am I overthinking again? I've just turned 16, have yet to go hard in the paint in society and my social circle, and I'm trying to keep myself from drowning in math. And I just finished late-night math work. And I don't do any sports or extra-curricular activities. Should I be thinking about responsibility right now? Or should I just have fun while I still have the time? Next year's gonna be hectic. This year's just preparing me for the hectic. Senior year's gonna be just tying up loose ends and chances to go hard in the paint. Then, well, I don't really know how well it's gonna go after that. We'll see. So, I guess I am over thinking. Just a little bit.

        Right now, I think I just need to breathe, work, breathe, work, and do whatever the f*** I want. When summer hits, I'll have the time to think stuff over. So, have fun while it lasts it is. That includes finding posts on Facebook and other social media to screenshot for future meming. Today this dude, the guy who posted that picture of his Hatsune Miku pillow, posted a status saying, and I quote, "I love tricking stupid teenage boys on League into thinking I'm a cute girl XDD". And I'm just like "Wh-. But you that's not something to tell every soul on Facebook". And then I thought, "YOU. ARE. A. TEENAGE BOY". That was supposed to be in the voice of Woody by the way. Seriously, this dude is 16. He is still a " stupid teenage boy". Practicing to be bait on "To Catch a Predator" is not a very fun job. Like my best bud always said (and by always I mean once, today), "Teenage boys only feel two things: horny and angry". Sadly, true. Also gonna add depressed in there too. But, really, true.

        Umm, so yeah. Don't really like saying that 'cause it sounds ignorant, but yeah. I don't know anymore, man. S*** like this is what's gonna f***ing kill me. Oh and that reminds me. Punch is a really nice Korean Drama. Mostly for its soundtrack. I have yet to watch an episode. Still, after watching the MV for "Ghost in Your Mind", I feel like writing a Mystery, Detective, Action, Drama story, that's like, difficult to understand, but there are points in the story where all the events connect together and it all makes sense, then you're like "Ohhhhh". That kind of story.

        Got a lot of work to do. First thing on the list: breathe. Now this was a traditional post. See you tonorrow.