Friday, May 19, 2017 "Cinema."

Friday, May 19, 2017
Week: 41
Songs to Remember: Movie - BTOB, Press Your Number - Taemin

        It's scary. It's scary that these last, what? 9 episodes? are mostly just me being too tired to write. And I haven't given up on this.

        It's mostly because I do forget about it, until I come home and find that it's like, 1:00 AM, and there's a shit-ton to write about. Like I said before, it's amazing that I am enjoying these last few days with people who care about me. I'm having so much fun that I forget, to write about it all, or that I'm too tired from all the fun to write a lot.

        And it's scary because that's, good. Like, it's scary good. But a part pf me also doesn't want all this work, this commitment, of detailing it all (or mostly) for the future. Since I don't have any obligation to wake up early tomorrow, I can at least write what was done today, tomorrow. And then most likely continue/ start tomorrow's real post, in the post after. Because there is A LOT, to detail, both physically, like, in-action stuff, as well as, mental and emotional stuff. Which so far, I'm kinda underestimating. I'm putting my emotional and mental stuff down.

        My mental and emotional state, they're pretty good right now. And I've been putting them down so much, because of past stuff, as well as uncertainties in the future. And it is, without a doubt, scary, to think about. I'm still keeping my hopes at a medium, in case the worst happens and I won't get disappointed, or the best happens, and I get the thrill of a lifetime. Anyways, it's 2:56 AM, see ya.

Thursday, May 18, 2017 "What is Slow in Vegas."

Thursday, May 18, 2017
Week: 41
Songs to Remember: Pretty - Nu'est

        It's 4:06 AM, and Sony Vegas is being an ass right now. You already know what I'm getting at. Sleep. See ya.

Wednesday, May 17, 2017 "Introduce Me to the Night."

Wednesday, May 17, 2017

Week: 41

Songs to Remember: Issues - Julia Michaels, How R U - Airplane, I'm Sorry - Nu'est, Pretty - Nu'est

        Now the downside with me spending this much time out late at night is that I end up too tired to really write much detail.

        Besides the usual day (really, nothing really done or was out of the ordinary in any of my classes. It really is pointless to attend class anymore since I do not do anything), I arrived home (after a haircut, probably my most favorite since as far as I can remember) at 3:00 PM, tried to relax for a it before having to get ready for the bootleg-ass senior awards night.

        There was mandatory practice today during 3rd and 4th. The seating was numbered, like, split-alphabetical, so, can't sit next to your friends. We, stood, and sat. Basically it, and uh, not really sure why it was needed but, okay. I drove to school, by myself, at around 5:30 PM after getting ready. Had to arrive there by 5:45 PM, but umm, things went sorta awry, and uh, heh, I got there at like 6:00 PM. Fortunately for me though, they did not really start anything until about 6:30 PM or 6:45 PM, so I was good.

        I stood in line next to this one girl whom I knew before-hand, online, on Facebook, and through mutuals. Never really talked to her, at all, ever, but I knew her. She's been to KDT practices for her friends, never really participated in the practices, just, watched. And so, she knows me I guess, from online, as well as KDT practices. It was a long time standing in line aaand, I did want to say something, so that we can talk and pass the time.

        But you know me, heh, although I do like to take risks and do whatever, shit like this still gets to me. Luckily, she initiated and said she liked my hair (at this point it's kinda like a neopolitan mess with blonde, pink, and a hint of blue). I thanked her and she continued with "You're from KDT right," and then that fell into talks about classes, Korean class, K-Pop groups, current stuff, etc. Went pretty well.

        We finally got into the gym and sat down at around 7:30 PM. It was like, 140 seniors or something, maybe a bit more, a bit less. 140 that showed up, that is, to the awards shit. You sit, you wait for your name to be called so you can walk up, hear them announce the shit you've earned, shake hands with the principal and a school-board member, pose for a picture, and sit back down. I was actually falling asleep during the first hour or so. It was, godamn, heh. But it was nice seeing a little overview of my class and, who's going where and whatnot.

        For me, I uh, I got the gold chord, which is for having a GPA of 3.25 or higher (weighted too). Approximately 90% of the people there got it so, nothing special. I got a gold seal or some shit, which will be on my diploma. I think that's for 3.5 GPA or higher. And uh, one other award for which I do not know what.

        Umm, so yeah, 2 hours of that, surprisingly it did end at 9:00 PM as they stated. At this point, it was me, Lw, and Ek, in my car. We called up Jk and Ag and they were down to go get some milk tea. I picked them up, I stopped at Safeway 'cause I needed dinner, so we got chicken wings, aaand, I got myself some bootleg DIY lunchables. Not bad, very high in sodium, but not bad. Drove to the milk tea place outside my house, and then, the cast (so for this time, it was just me, Jk, Ag, Lw, and Ek) stayed at my house until about 12:00 AM. We played some games of "One Night Ultimate Werewolf" again, ate, aaand, then I drove 'em home. Driving at night is only a smidgen harder than driving during the day in my opinion. The downside: you can barely see shit. The upside though, there's less traffic. So there you go, Drew, you're, you're independancing.

        My parents did not go to the ceremony, but, I came home to see the paper program, so, apparently they did go. Which makes me wonder if they followed me to see how I drove at night. Anyways, it's been a long, long day. I got, another long one tomorrow, plus Friday, and Saturday. Lots, lots of, outside work, outside as in, I'm able to work on things, only outside of class. But yeah, it's 1:33 AM, I am beat, see ya.

Tuesday, May 16, 2017 "Guiltulative."

Tuesday, May 16, 2017

Week: 41

Songs to Remember: For Real (진짜를 꺼내봐) - OVAN (오반), Drawing the Line - Royal Pirates, 

        Nope, it's just Tuesday, and yes, it is 12:03 AM. I only now realized that, since there ain't gonna be anymore seasons or pre-seasons after next next week, that means the series will be ending on season 43.

        So I got some work done today. Got some design finished, got some bits and pieces of work done. Still got a lot though. These days I've just been way too tired. There's just been so much that's happened the past couple months, there's still so much that's yet to happen or are going to happen these few weeks.

        In terms of, events outside of school that is. 'Course school events too, but. Coursework, I should say, is, really nothing at this point. I mean, in Chinese, we've literally ran out of stuff to do. We've already done our final as well so, nothing really to prepare for. Same goes math, and uh, yeah.

        Okay so I was gonna end this post here but there's actually some stuff I can talk about now, I just remembered. Today, there's been some drama, some, really, necessary drama. I told Jk about how me, Cc, Tm, and Cc's friend (KDT member, he was only in the Lunar Show performance and that was it). Her friend actually added me on Facebook yesterday. It was kinda out of nowhere but I was like "Alright." He asked me how things were going and I was like "It's been alright." And then he's like "So I heard you and Cathy are gonna be sharing a hotel room. Do you have any extra room for one more?"

        And I'm thinking like "tsk, BOI." Like, heh, I mean alright. Now I didn't mention this before but there's been some conflict, some under-ground conflict, between him and DrewH. DrewH and him, we'll, actually I think I gave him a name before. It was like, Xn, or something. We'll just use that for now. So, him and Xn, they're, they've both been trying to get at Cathy for a while now. I know because of, DrewH's snapchat stories. I also asked him about a something that he shared on Snapchat, and he gave me access to read this one anecdotal story he wrote with the names "censored out," buuuut, it was pretty obvious who the characters were, heh.

        And he really hates Xn too. Like, really hates him. I know because, he made some lists that were posted on his Snapchat story, detailing some of the dislikes that DrewH has for Xn. Some, err, more so, most, was pretty just plain mean, mean things. Uhhh, yeah, so there's the backstory on that. Anyways, Xn asks if he can join in on the hotel stuff and uh, I asked Cc if she was alright with it and she was like "I'm fine with anything," so I was like "Alright," and gave him the okay. Well, today, I uh, told Jk about my Fanime plans, he inadvertently told DrewH about the Fanime plans (I don't think he knows about Xn staying in the hotel room with us, so that's good), and uh, DrewH told Cc that he's not going to Fanime anymore.

        So now there's this whole dilema, with words being tossed around, details, all between me, Jk, Cc, DrewH, and Xn. Xn's asking me like "Can you help a brotha out" and like, Jk's helping Cc keep tabs on DrewH's actions, DrewH ain't responding to Cc's responses over text, and, it's just, all stemming from DrewH really. From Cc and Xn and Jk's details, DrewH got some people to try to guilt her into like, begging or asking DrewH to re-think his decision on not going to Fanime. And that's, where my personal input comes in.

        When Cc told me that DrewH is getting people to guilt-trip her and shit to get her to beg him to go and shit, that made me feel bad. I thought to myself "Aw fuck, that's, kinda what I did too." I did not know that, what I did before, with the whole, you-know, situation, wasn't actually going in the direction where I wanted it to. It veered off and instead, just, made somebody feel bad, worried, etc. It wasn't, improving, my situation, it was lowering hers. And in the end? Shit still didn't go the way I wanted things to.

        Shit like this kind of manipulation, I would now suggest to, not try it. On the off-chance that it works, hey, good for you. But really it's, just shady stuff. You first have to consider the other person's existing feelings, and then how all of that would affect them. You gotta, ask yourself "What if this was done to me, with me already feeling blah blah etc, how would I feel after?" So yeah, if there's something that I did wrong, another, mistake, that I made in that all, it was definitely the manipulation part. If there's any justification at all (which there never should be), it was the detail given to me that mutuals and outside sources had an impact on it all.

        But anyways, back to this situation. Cc feels like she doesn't know what to do. I reassured her that she's not obligated to do anything and that really, this is all stemming from DrewH. If he chooses to not to go, that's his decision. He just has to put aside the fact that just one, single person he dislikes, is going to the same location as he is, nearing the person he appreciates. And it does seem that he cares about Cc, but from Cc's detailing, it's kinda just controlling at points, and is he's just being, immature. Manipulative at times, like this, to get his way.

        From her recollection, this ain't the first time. Back in October, he did the same exact thing, and only because Xn was going to be going with them. Shit's, he's getting on her nerves, from what Cc told me. All this is just stemming from one person, and yes, this is unecessary. All of this. Like, it was all going well, Cc was feeling all good today, and then after that she was just, ehhhh. It's, unfortunate, that these things happen, and like, even Cc's trying to talk to him about it, like, ask the reasons behind some the shit, but so far he has not responded or from Jk's intel, he doesn't want to talk.

        So it's just like ??? Like, the Nick Young face. Anyways, hopefully time will, make things, change minds. It's 1:07 AM, I'm tired, see ya.

Monday, May 15, 2017 "Give Me Time."

Monday, May 15, 2017

Week: 41

Songs to Remember: Drawing the Line - Royal Pirates, Better When I'm Dancing - Meghan Trainor

        I am so, so, so, so, so, so, so short, on time. I so many deadlines to meet, it's, crazy. And shit just keeps on stacking and stacking, I am not allowed one-second of slacking off.

        Another overview of what I gotta do and finish this week or next week: math project, editing a tutorial video for how I make my mixes, edit my group's Othello film video for English, create some logos for this K-Pop logo contest, memorize dances (5 for Dance class, 1 for the KDT Fanime performance, and 4 for the KDT picnic, and 2 for my music video edits), plan out location and time for grad photos, plan out the trip and who's staying for the Fanime weekend, Dance recital practices plus performances next week, writing out a script for what I wanna say at the KDT picnic, as well as the usual work of other classes on top of all that.

        Now it may not seem like a lot, but having all that within the constraint of this week and next week, there's not breathing room. At all. I mean I barely got work done today. There is so much shit that comes up that I, I can't keep up with. Like today for example, I had to go to one of my group member's house again to wrap up filming our stupid Othello movie project. But oh whadya know, today just happens to be a day for KDT practice, as usual but, also, after school, there's an opening-number practice for the seniors for Dance class.

        So I had to miss KDT practice, as well as 45 minutes of filming time. Tomorrow hopefully there'll be no interruptions. Wednesday, oh boy, there's fucking, MORNING practice, for those in senior awards night. Then, the awards night starts at 7:00 PM, meaning, I get like, no time to work at home on these fucking videos. I have, I've yet to practice the dances I'll be doing for my music video edits I'll be shooting at the grad photo trip with the cast this Saturday. Still, still figuring stuff out on plans for Fanime because things are still yet to be set in stone. Thursday, I gotta get some videos and photo-editing done. I gotta prepare the ending to the series with planning out what I'ma say, info, etc. Gather pictures, umm, just.

        I'd just really like some sleep, right now, because I am still falling asleep in some classes. And this just, there's no way, I can soak in these last couple weeks of being in High school, being this naive, this care-free, this, imagining of a television series. I can't do all that fully, with all this hanging over my head. It's insane. There's probably even more shit I gotta remember to do before deadlines but, it's slipping my mind right now. Seriously, I gotta, rush. And, I'ma have to sacrifice some more sleep.

        IT'S FUCKING INSANE. For my at least, because I do not recall any other time where I got this many deadlines all at once. But yeah, it's 12:44 AM right now, I think I'll call it a night. Hopefully a good chunk of whatever gets done tomorrow. See ya. Also something to note: I do not enjoy the song "Better When You're Dancing," it's just stuck in my head right now from hearing it over and over again today in Dance class, and so that's making me like it. You get what I mean. Anyways, see ya.